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After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:
"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."
"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."
"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."
More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.
Bought this for my husband as a Christmas gift. He found it very funny!Published 22 days ago by Veggieburgs
A very funny book describing the life with a character of a father, all true stories. If you can get over the F-bombs in this book, you will laugh out loud at the things this... Read morePublished 3 months ago by Mary-Lou Bird
Most awesome book - read it, laughed till I cried & then bought one for my Dad to read...Published 4 months ago by Nicole
Frickin' hilarious! Had me laughing out loud, which I've never done when reading before.Published 6 months ago by Juleza
I'm a Dad. If I couldn't muster a bit more vinegar than this book spouts, I'd put on a god damned dress.Published 7 months ago by Squire
I enjoyed reading this book. It's a light story - just right for when you don't want a heavy one - but well written, funny at times, profound at times, surprising at times, and... Read morePublished 8 months ago by Sylvia Holt