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Sh*t My Dad Says [Hardcover]

Justin Halpern
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
List Price: CDN$ 19.99
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Book Description

April 26 2010

“This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.”
—Chelsea Handler

“Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.”
—Kristen Bell

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.”
—Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like

Tuesdays with Morrie meets F My Life in this hilarious book about a son’s relationship with his foul-mouthed father by the 29-year-old comedy writer who created the massively popular Twitter feed of the same name.


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Sh*t My Dad Says + I Suck at Girls
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Review

Sh*t My Dad Says is f______ great!...Very funny, very irreverent, very real. It’s refreshing at a time when we’re all choking to death on political correctness and can go for days without meeting a single person with common sense.” (Janet Evanovich, Time Magazine)

“This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society.” (Chelsea Handler)

“Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny.” (Maxim)

“A fun gift book that is bound to crack up anyone who flips through it.” (Los Angeles Times)

“If you’re wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes.” (Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like)

“Read this unless you’re allergic to laughing.” (Kristen Bell)

“Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges from hysterical to disgusting to touching—and does it all seamlessly. Sh*t My Dad Says is a really, really funny book.” (Laurie Notaro, New York Times bestselling author of The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club)

“Justin Halpern’s dad is up there with Aristotle and Winston F*cking Churchill. He’s brilliant, and his son’s book is absolutely hilarious.” (A.J. Jacobs, New York Times bestselling author of The Know-It-All)

From the Back Cover

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

"Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking."

"The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."

More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.


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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "Fantabulous"!!! June 21 2010
By J. Tupone TOP 500 REVIEWER
Format:Hardcover
This book is absolute hilarious. I'm sure some people won't find it funny because it's full of vulgarities. Fair enough, no one said it's for everyone, but if you're the type of person who considers straight-talk to be anything near a virtue or "refreshing", you'll love this book.

It comes off as politically incorrect because the author's dad is so vulgar and matter of fact, but it's really not. The only thing politically incorrect about it is that you're not supposed to swear all the time... or ever I suppose.

What's also great about this book is that the dad isn't a low-brow or some caveman who can speak English. The profanity-laden comments he makes are actually quite profound when you consider how often people in our society seem to go on and on and never really say anything. The quotes get to the point, they're funny, they're a little bit "Wow that was really crude", but hey, no one said this man is a politician - it's supposed to be about the musings of a down-to-earth, straight-talking guy.

It's worth the read - a good laugh all the way through.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A great Dad (and Mom) June 21 2010
Format:Hardcover
Halpern's Dad is smart, doesn't take nonsense from anybody but is at the same time loving and fair. In my opinion, his son (the author) always saw through all the swearing to the core of the man (hopefully his other two sons did as well). This is a Dad who seems gruff but has his family's back and acts on it while maintaining a great sense of humor.

I particularly liked the last chapter. It made the read all worth while. As a single mother of two sons, I wish I had had a father like Sam for them. It would have given me (like Halpern's mom) the gift of being the nice person more often.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
Reading Justin Halpern's book brought back memories of my own father's words of wisdom. Although my father (a southern gentleman by birth) was somewhat more prudent in his use of curse words and references to sex, he never hesitated in telling his children (or anyone else for that matter) exactly what was on his mind. I remember when I introduced him to my first really serious girlfriend, a young woman who was more than a foot shorter than myself. He took me aside and said, "What's the matter, didn't they have one in your size?" However, when we later announced our engagement he was the first to congratulate us and brought out the bottle of Cold Duck that he was saving for such an occasion.

When the author was 28 years old he was suddenly dumped by his girlfriend and needed a place to live when he made the decision to move back in with his mother and his then retired father. Working from his new "home" as a writer for Maxim Magazine gave him the time (an awful lot of time according to the author) to see his father through new, adult eyes. The terror that he had felt in his youth due to his father's "bluntness" began to be replaced by admiration for the only person that he had ever known who really spoke his mind without self-censorship. It was only then that he began to see the wisdom in his father's tersely worded observations and began posting them on his Twitter page with the same title as this book.

Because Mr. Halpern Sr. has the gift of being able to "swear with great expertise" I can't quote many of them on Amazon, but here are a few of my favorite PG rated quips:

ON THE DEATH OF OUR FIRST DOG
He was a good dog. Your brother is pretty broken up about it, so go easy on him.
Read more ›
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Funny read! Jan. 3 2011
By Mazel
Format:Hardcover
Funny book. Based on the guy who wrote the twitter feed (re: his experiences with his father) and the resultant CTV show. Enjoy!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Want to laugh? Sept. 12 2010
Format:Hardcover
First thing I notice is the size of the book, text and layout, it makes you want to read it.
This book is easy to read and will make you laugh. Its a good read for people interested in family relationships and dynamics.
There are good insights into personnel relationships, education and careers.
The number one attribute is the honest humour, its so funny. You will know when someone around you is reading this book because you will hear them laughing.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyed every second, I WANT MORE! Feb. 17 2013
By Dat Yan
Format:Hardcover
Wonderful story and absolutely entertaining! Love his dad personality I mean who wouldn't??? Someone who speaks out of his mind and those are of the people we need in life!
The structure is well written and scripted as well so as a reader, you would not feel that this book is cocky me-me-me story type.

Ok negative comment about this book is that it is quite short... unfortunately... I finished it on the first day I bought it... FML... great gotta buy another book...
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A modern day classic Jan. 14 2013
Format:Hardcover
If someone claims that this book isn't funny, then they just fail at humour. The idea behind the book was to record every weird sentence Halpern's dad was saying and believe me, it will undoubtedly remind you of at least one relative. It is incredibly well written and couldn't be any funnier if he tried. I would re-read this book anytime.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This is by far the funniest book I've ever read about the relationship between a father and son.... I could not stop laughing from the moment I opened it. I read some of it to a few guys in the camp cabin one night and we were all howling together. Pick it up, it will have you laughing and tearing up from joy and and sometimes pain. Incredibly well written for all the sons, fathers and men in our lives who from deep love pass on wisdom of the ages by wrapping it in sarcasm and blunt observations.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Hilarious!
Published 6 days ago by Makayla
5.0 out of 5 stars Frickin' hilarious! Had me laughing out loud, which ...
Frickin' hilarious! Had me laughing out loud, which I've never done when reading before.
Published 1 month ago by Juleza
1.0 out of 5 stars I'm a Dad
I'm a Dad. If I couldn't muster a bit more vinegar than this book spouts, I'd put on a god damned dress.
Published 2 months ago by Squire
4.0 out of 5 stars A fun read
I enjoyed reading this book. It's a light story - just right for when you don't want a heavy one - but well written, funny at times, profound at times, surprising at times, and... Read more
Published 3 months ago by Sylvia Holt
1.0 out of 5 stars Expected more
Sorry, but i dont consider a page and a half on ten different serial killers a book. You could probably find all the info in twenty mins along..
Published 5 months ago by paul
4.0 out of 5 stars Very funny
A great easy read that will make you laugh out loud and probably realise your family is really quite normal in comparison.
Published 5 months ago by A. Witteveen
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent read
Most books that promise to be hilarious are usually not to me. I have been told I have a strange sense of humour and this book actually made me laugh out loud. Read more
Published 5 months ago by carol baillargeon
5.0 out of 5 stars Gfghhjhggghjjjjjjjjjjhhjjjhhhhhj
Truth hhjjjjjjjjjjj hhjjjjjjjjjjj yyhhhhhhhhh highlight youtube video of the colour green a bad colour green a bad colour green a
Published 6 months ago by Jennette
4.0 out of 5 stars funny
This book has caused me to laugh out loud more often than not. Sarcastic & humourous that is based on the reality of everyday life events.
Published 7 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Medicine
I sent copies to my son & daughter-in-law. He reads it to her while she's having chemo--they laugh their way thru it & laughter IS the best medicine. Read more
Published 9 months ago by Sheila Larcher
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