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She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Paperback – Jan 4 2010


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Ltd; New title edition (Jan. 4 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060538260
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060538262
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.5 x 21 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 249 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (62 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,805 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Dispelling the widely held myth of genital penetration as the apogee of sexual pleasure, Kerner, who holds a doctorate in clinical sexology, offers this witty, well-researched manual for "consistently leading women to orgasm" through cunnilingus. Loaded with practical anatomical information (the clitoris has 18 distinct parts, and more nerve fibers than any other part of the human body) and graphic line drawings, the book also touches on the less mechanical, more psychological aspects of oral sex, including the three assurances every woman needs from her lover to feel comfortable: (1) "you enjoy it as much as she does"; (2) "there's no rush"; and (3) "Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence." Since studies show the average woman takes about 20 minutes to reach her first orgasm during a typical sex session, while men take a mere four minutes, Kerner advises men to delay their own climax and make oral sex "coreplay" ("the substantive phase in which sexual tension builds, culminates and then releases itself through the female orgasm"), instead of foreplay. Breaking down six stages of coreplay, from the "first kiss" to orgasm, Kerner speaks to both beginners and more seasoned lovers. His candor concerning his own bout with sexual dysfunction adds a compassionate tone and credibility to this decidedly pro-female methodology.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

"Required reading for all men who are dating and all women who are wondering why they're not satisfied." (Cindy Chupack, writer/executive producer of Sex and the City)


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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars

Most helpful customer reviews

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By "jamesbernhardt7" on July 1 2004
Format: Hardcover
I've always prided myself on my oral abilities and often thought that I should write a book on the subject myself if I wasn't so lazy, since none seemed to be written by straight men or get beyond magazine-type tips. In short, no book elevated oral sex to art. So when I heard about this book, I was ready to hate it and dismiss it as fluff, but I read it over the weekend and it's really substantial and well-written. Dr. Kerner has put into words what I've always felt about oral sex and has even elevated it to the ranks of literature. It is written by someone who loves women and wants to show men how to translate that love into action. The book is really about much more than oral sex and the author brings a knowledge of female sexuality that is unparalleled. Every guy should read this, even if he thinks he's an expert, because it will inspire you to be even better. And not just at oral sex, but at appreciating the sophistication of female sexuality and how it's different than a man's. You'll learn things about women that you never knew before, and it's all fun and easy to read. Dr. Kerner dedicates the book to his wife, and says that in the world of mouth-music, she's his Stradivarius: priceless and precious. That comment says it all about his approach. This book isn't just about satisfying women, it's about cherishing them too and giving them true gifts of pleasure and intimacy. As Rhett Butler said, "you should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how." This book is for any guy who has a romantic streak, or wants to be inspired to have one.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 16 2004
Format: Hardcover
It takes a real man to realize and openly admit he doesn't automatically know how to savor a woman's "cassolette." (Perfume box- oh, what a great term!)
This book will guide you deeply on the ins and outs you can't learn by watching porn, or talking in the locker room. For wetness sake! This book offers a cunning cunnilinguist manifesto, cites Marx, Rabelais, Kundera, Taosim, Shakespeare and Nabokov for the literary lover, has precise drawings for the curious cunnilinguist and even a cheat sheet for the harried lover. What have you to lose from reading a book on pleasuring a woman? Your innocence?
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By "j_miller2" on June 8 2004
Format: Hardcover
This book promises to show guys how to consistently give women orgasms with their tongues -- and it delivers. There's over 150 pages of techniques, with very clear illustrations. Kerner not only shows you how to do it, but also when and where. Even if you don't use all the techniques, or get confused, Kerner gives you the big ideas to keep in mind -- it's all about thinking clitorally, not vaginally, engaging in stimulation not just penetration. The book is clinical and straightforward, but also fun -- like his chapter, The Cunnilinguist Manifesto. Hey, if going down on women and getting them off makes me a revolutionary, then sign me up! That's one army I want to join.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By practicemakesperfect on March 21 2012
Format: Paperback
The first section of the book contains good information about female sexuality. The remainder of the book is focused on performing oral sex on women. The book is worth buying for either part alone.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By "jennblair" on June 24 2004
Format: Hardcover
I saw the author on the Today Show, and they wouldn't show the title of the book and made a big deal about saying the title was too sexy for tv -- it looked like they covered the book with a bow or some ribbon. The author seemed really smart and honest and young (and cute) and I couldn't imagine what was so offensive -- so I went out at lunch-time and bought it and was surprised about all the fuss. What's so bad about saying "She Comes First?" It's cute and funny...and most of all it's true, or at least it should be true! It's about time women came first, in every sense of the word. Which is why I just ordered three copies for my sister and friends. I've only read the beginning, but it seems really well written and important and the illustrations really make me want to know how to get men put a woman's pleasure first. Because just don't get it. I'm going to give it to my boyfriend with a bow on it too, but not because I don't want him to see the title, but because I want it to be the best present I ever gave him.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 6 2004
Format: Hardcover
I can do nothing but praise Ian Kerner's work, She Comes First. Don't think that it's training men to be more generous out of charity. It plainly explains WHY men should make sure their partners have been given ample attention as well as HOW to do so. This book brilliantly addresses issues of safety, effective technique, variety, philosophy, biology, psychology and so on. This work is the perfect blend of humor, humility, statistically-based facts, genius insight and creativity. You can feel illuminated just by the first few chapters and still want to take more in. I know this is definitely a great read for us guys and imagine women would likely enjoy learning more about how exactly their bodies are working. Pick it up now and hope for more from this author. Enjoy.
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18 of 22 people found the following review helpful By Megan on Oct. 28 2006
Format: Hardcover
If I was a man, and I needed to be told to flick my tongue when I'm down there, or rub it this way or that...well, maybe its me but I felt these were obvious techniques to try which your lady may or may not like. Can't a guy figure that out with each woman on his own? Isn't that half the fun? The title really has the best advice...the THINKING man.

As a woman reading the book, I can say that although some of these techniques might be enjoyable (although most of them I would just consider foreplay...they definite would not get me there), the MAIN important thing to satisfying me is what is going on in my head. Once my mind is in the right place my husbands technique is of secondary importance...and as long as he is somewhere in the vicinity and not doing anything too distracting I will be satisfied. For my husband and I, nighttime reading of erotica is what saved our sex lives. We can't wait to pull out the books (our favorites which never fail are Enchanted by Nancy Madore, Naughty Bedtime Stories by Joan Loyd and My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday). Reading one or two short stories relaxs me and helps me forget the problems of the day. Where I was almost never in the mood before I started reading at night, it is now a regular part of my life. Plus, the stories gave my husband and I an opening to talk about fantasies, and that has made things more fun in the bedroom too. If you really want to improve your sex life, get your significant other a pile of books. There are tons of them out there. The ones about fantasies are the best.
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