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Siblings Without Rivalry [Audiobook] [Audio Cassette]

Elaine Mazlish
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (37 customer reviews)

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Book Description

June 1 1996
The authors read from their own best-selling guide that shows effective ways to reduce sibling rivalry and promote cooperation rather than competition. Book available.

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Product Description

From Amazon

With a title like this, it's no surprise that authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish had a monster bestseller on their hands when the book first appeared in 1988. From the subsequent deluge of readers' stories, questions, and issues, they have created nearly 50 pages of new material for this, the 10th anniversary edition. The central message remains the same, and sounds almost too simple: avoid comparisons. But parents know that's easier said than done. The value of Faber and Mazlish's discussions is precisely that they talk you through umpteen different situations and outcomes to help you teach your brawling offspring a new set of responses. The highly informative text is punctuated with helpful summary/reminder boxes and cartoons illustrating key points. It's a must-read for parents with (or planning on) multiple children. But parents of young children who get along fine (so far) should read it too--as the authors make very clear, rivalry is inevitable. The only question is how to manage the rivalry with intelligence and compassion, and on that subject they offer a wealth of good advice. --Richard Farr --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

From Library Journal

Disciples of the late Haim Ginott, a child psychologist, Faber and Mazlish have conducted workshops on family relationships and co-authored Liberated Parents, Liberated Children (Avon, 1975) and How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (Rawson Wade, 1980). The present book states that sibling rivalry stems from jealousy similar to that a spouse might feel if asked to welcome another husband or wife into the household. It outlines ways to defuse such explosive situations as comparing, assigning roles, or taking sides and suggests specific remedies to avoid conflict. Cartoon-like illustrations and "quick reminders" help reinforce new behavior. A welcome assist over the rough times that too often leave lifetime scars. Suzanne Druehl, Little Rock Public Library, Ark.
Copyright 1987 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

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Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
4.8 out of 5 stars
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
This book has so many ideas to try with children of all ages. I'm sure I will continue to consult it as my children get older. I really like the "How To Step In So You Can Step Out" strategy that teaches parents how to intervene by acknowledging the feelings of both kids in the heat of the moment which defuses the situation so the kids can work it out themselves. I like the simple cartoons that clearly illustrate the communication "do's" and "donï¿ts" with quibbling siblings. I also like the way the discipline tips maintain the dignity of both the parent and the child. When I am able to resist "automatic parenting" reactions like yelling and threatening, and use some of the great techniques I've learned, I feel so much more competent as a parent. Because I have three young children (5, 3, and 2 months), I would like to also recommend a new pocket-sized book that has been very helpful addressing my specific current sibling issues. Appropriately entitled "The Pocket Parent", the entire book is written for parents with normal, but often challenging preschoolers. There are hundreds of short bulleted suggestions addressing sibling issues such as: "the new baby", "comparing and labeling", "sibling rivalry", "hitting and hurting others", "biting", "bad words", "I hate you's", "listening", "power struggles", and "traveling with the kids". These two books with exactly the same discipline philosophy compliment each other--both having great examples of the exact words to try in many sibling situations.
One of the strategies suggested in both books that has really reduced my frustration level is to redefine being "fair" as "meeting each child's needs" rather than focusing on being totally "equal" at all times. This thought is very helpful because my kids seem to always keep score...
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars easy to understand and follow Sept. 4 2012
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I found this book full of insigts and helpful strategies for typical daily issues with all children. I would definitely recommend this book as it was recommended to me. I saw amazing things happening with my 5yr & 3yr old daughters. Especially when it came to finding their own way to negotiate what would make them satisfied when they wanted the exact same thing & couldn't both have it. I saw them really proud of themselves that they could come up with their own solution & were given the opportunity to feel their own power in this. It is not always a perfect science or formula each & every time, as we are all human & imperfect, but it gives you tools to work with that can truly improve situations & a way to look at your children in a different light.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
I am in love with this book. When my second child was first
born, I read the first chapter or two of this book and found it
very useful for dealing with my older child's jealous behavior.
Now that my second is 1 1/2 and the two children are playing
together and having so many conflicts, I picked the book back
up and read it from cover to cover. There are so many helpful
anecdotes. The book has given me words to handle so many
frustrating situations. It is one of my favorite
books on child-raising!
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A very helpful tool in dealing with your kids March 12 2004
By A Customer
This book was EXACTLY what I was looking for. In dealing with my two stepsons as well as my own two daughters, ranging in age from one to seven, I felt there HAD to be a way to prevent some of this fierce competitive and unkind nature between kids. I refused to believe there was nothing much we parents could do about it. The perspective it gave in how to treat the children each as individuals, without reference or comparison to their siblings in any way seemed obvious, yet for most of us parents, we do these things unconsciously in various daily situations. I began realizing how even the smallest comments, however well-intended, could induce rivalry between the kids and have found the ideas and suggestions in this book to be of immeasurable value to my family. In some areas, I do feel that it gets a little too extreme to be realistic, however, the main concept behind the advice and suggestions is very helpful.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Sibling Book Regardless of Age Jan. 5 2013
By Shannon
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Information in the book is broken down into chapters. Chapters are easy to skip to for specific information needed right away or read from beginning to end for more understanding. Each chapter has lots of real examples of parents learning to use the techniques (rather than parents who already use the techniques) and the changes they see. Each Chapter also has cartoon which quickly illustrates how to use the techniques in the book and a "quick reminder" page that summarizes the chapter. Whether you have a couple minutes or an hour or 2 you could benefit from this book. The information here seems relevant from toddlers right up to teens and has examples of all sibling groups in between.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't live without it! July 6 2004
I love this book! It is filled with practical advice complete with sketches of common arguements and how to respond. I re-read a chapter every six months as problems arise. You will refer to it again and again. I give it as a "second baby" shower gift and have received RAVE reviews!
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5.0 out of 5 stars The book that I will rearead many times! Dec 10 2013
By Anna
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This one talks about many issues such as fighting, comparing, role prescribing etc. The author gives great examples from family situations. It is a great reading for a parent with two or more children and even for those who have just one kid because their kid interacts with other kids.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars You thought you knew so much, wait until you read this book
When I was pregnant with my second child, I was very worried about this subject, because I have a horrible relationship with my sister, who constantly competes with me, even today. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Mama Cat
5.0 out of 5 stars It Really Works
I read this book around 20 yrs ago when I had 3 young kids. I used what I learned on my children & it really works. Read more
Published 14 months ago by T. Sameshima
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book.
I bought this for a friend who's children fight constantly and it's a huge worry. She is finding it very helpful. Thank you, excellent service and product.
Published 18 months ago by Adelaide Campbell
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent easy read for all parents
This book was so good. It was very easy and quick to read. It outlines problems that occur between siblings and gives straightforward suggestions. Read more
Published on Feb. 3 2011 by Mother of Two
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! A must for families with children
I loved this book. It provides a series on concrete examples and detailed rationales to diffuse (or prevent) sibling rivalry. Read more
Published on Oct. 29 2010 by cassiesmom
4.0 out of 5 stars A Very Practical "How to" Book
This book is useful not only for dealing with sibling rivalry, but also with diffusing conflicts between any children. Read more
Published on Jan. 5 2004 by Jan Peczkis
5.0 out of 5 stars I love this book
I love this book... My kids are now 5 & 3 and there is another on the way. I have read this book cover to cover & keep it handy for quick references when I feel I need a... Read more
Published on Jan. 3 2004
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