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Sick And Tired Of Feeling Sick And Tired [Paperback]

Paul J Donoghue , Mary E Siegel
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Oct. 5 2000
Unlike a leg in a cast, invisible chronic illness (ICI) has no observable symptoms. Consequently, people who suffer from chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and many other miseries often endure not only the ailment but dismissive and negative reactions from others. Since its first publication, Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired has offered hope and coping strategies to thousands of people who suffer from ICI. Paul Donoghue and Mary Siegel teach their readers how to rethink how they themselves view their illness and how to communicate with loved ones and doctors in a way that meets their needs. The authors' understanding makes readers feel they have been heard for the first time. For this edition, the authors include a new introduction drawing on the experiences of the many people who have responded to the book and to their lectures and television appearances. They expand the definition of ICI to include other ailments such as depression, addiction, and obsessive-compulsive disorders. They bring the resource material, including Web sites, up to the present, and they offer fresh insights on four topics that often emerge: guilt, how ICI affects the family, meaningfulness, and defining acceptance.

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Product Description

From Library Journal

Donoghue and Siegel direct their book to healthcare providers, families, and patients dealing with invisible chronic illness (ICI)--those conditions that are chronic and disabling but not readily apparent to the casual observer. In Part 1, the authors define ICI, including brief descriptions of 13 diseases that fit their criteria. They discuss in clinical, detached language the impact of ICI on the patient, family, friends, and employers. In Part 2, Donoghue and Siegel speak directly to the patient, offering coping mechanisms to enhance quality of life through positive thinking, effective communication, and pain management techniques. They also include reading lists and "Illness Associations." While useful, their book suffers from the attempt to address too broad an audience. Recommended for larger collections only.
- Janet M. Schneider, James A. Haley Veterans Hosp., Tampa, Fla.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.


An invaluable source of help and comfort to those who suffer from invisible chronic illness and to their caregivers and friends. -- Katharina Dalton, M.D.

How many times have you said to yourself, 'No one can understand how I feel unless they've experienced it themselves?' Because the authors of this book each have experienced an 'Invisible Chronic Illness' or ICI, they are able to express feelings that you have more than likely experienced but have not been able to put into words. This book validates your emotions and then helps you to express them in constructive ways. -- Network

One of the most helpful books about chronic illness that I ever run across....This book is captivating, informative, and sensitive. -- Allergy Aware

This self-help book by two Ph.D. psychologists (one of whom suffers from multiple sclerosis) is not new, just new to me, and what a discovery! It is a moving explication of what it means to live with an invisible chronic illness--ICI. If you have patients, acquaintances or if you yourself suffer from an ICI you can find valuable advice and guidance in this book. -- Ostomy/Wound Management

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Recently, returning to Stamford, Connecticut, from a talk in New York, we turned off the highway behind a young man on a motorcycle. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Big help! Aug. 2 2013
By Mariane
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
"Great book! I've been sick since I was 17, I am now 31 and it is the first time that I feel understood! Every page I'm like: '' Yes. Yes, this is exactly how is is! It IS how it feels!''. It goes deep into your fears, doubts and frustration. Even your despair. It goes deep enough to know it was written by people who went through it too. But it also show you there is more to life. I felt understood and supported for the first time. It's a good place to start if you want to change the way you think or feel about your health situation."
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By Jodi-Hummingbird TOP 100 REVIEWER
This book was very good and seemed to offer lots of useful advice but it seemed to be aimed at those with a certain type of disease pattern, perhaps the type which the authors were most familiar with. (Which is fair enough!)

This book is great, probably, if you have a non-severe and/or relapsing and remitting disease. But I found very little here for coping with very severe disease with no breaks!

The book very much asssumes throughout that patients will have periods of illness and then periods of wellness, or at least periods of being slightly less unwell.

This just does not apply to Myalgic Encepahlomyelitis, and especially severe M.E. - nor to many other diseases I am sure. As such for those of us who fit this description, much of the advice in the book is inappropriate and can't be used and is also slightly depressing. (To read a book which assumes you'll have better health periods now and then, when this isn't the case and hasn't been for many years can make you feel a bit sad.)

The problem of being bedbound, housebound or unable to speak for long periods, or write or have visitors, is also not mentioned at all.

I don't mean all this even as a criticism of the book really, as I am sure this book is suitable for many poeple and the authors had to write what they knew. Also, when a book has 'invisible illness'in the title, I suppose this does to some extent suggest it covers diseases which do not leave you obviously visibly ill such as bedbound or housebound. That would be a very fair point as well of course. (Although many other diseases the book discusses are called invisible when really the patients do look ill, perhaps just not 'ill enough' for how disabled they are for some critical bystanders!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful book for those struggling with an ICI! Jan. 15 2004
I have 2 ICI's and I have struggled with a large amount of self doubt and sadness, because of other people's inability to understand what I am dealing with. This book explains the feelings of people with ICI, but the book does not stop there! It also tells you why the feelings come about and how to deal with those feeling. You can tell the book was written by people who understand the feelings of ICI sufferers, because they too are ICI sufferers.
I loved this book!
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4.0 out of 5 stars Validation for what you probably already know April 23 2002
Unlike a lot of books with this theme, this one seems to do a good job of ferreting out the different ways that people deal with chronic illness. It is appropriate for most people with chronic illness, although it does focus on "invisible chronic illness". I was impressed that there were few places that made me want to roll my eyes and toss the book across the room. Usually books like this are filled with cheesy advice, such as "take time out for yourself" and "a good bubble bath can do wonders for your psyche". This one is written on a more intelligent level and talks about the real issues and challenges that face people with chronic illness and their caregivers.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Even my Dr. wants to read it! Aug. 23 2000
Hello, I have been diagnosed with several "invisible" chronic illnesses, meaning the symptoms are subjective for the most part and hard for others to "see" my pain and illness, therefore it is hard to get the support I need.
This book totally understands my experience, it validates every thing that has happened since I was diagnosed, and it helps me get the support I need. It is also excellent to give to others who you want to understand what you're going through. After reading this book, it will be impossible for anyone to ever say again "but you LOOK good".
I had an appt. with a doctor the other day and he saw the book in my hand and asked to look at it. He asked my opinion on it and said he had heard it was a great book. So I of course gushed on and on about it, how the authors truly understand the effects if ICI on our self-esteem, self-concept, the guilt and shame, the frustrations, the lack of support and the suspicion we are often confronted with because our symptoms are not visible (we don't have a wheel chair or a cane, or an easily recognizable condition). So he's going to buy it so he can understand what his patients are going through and be more helpful to them!
Next I am passing this book onto my husband, might buy a few copies for relatives for Christmas and sending the link to the members of my chronic pain support group. Pass the word, this is the book that will finally change how the world responds to us.
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4.0 out of 5 stars A Great First Stop for just diagnosed July 10 2000
By drdebs
I was reminded how wonderful this book was when I picked up a copy for a friend who has just been diagnosed with an invisible chronic illness. One day, you go to the doctor and your whole life changes--forever. That's what it's like to be diagnosed with an ICI (MS, Lupus, thyroid conditions, Lyme Disease, etc.), and it can be an awfully difficult experience. The authors of this book have tried to put together some coping skills and have identified common responses to having one of these conditions, based on their own medical situation (both have ICI conditions) and their professional expertise as psychologists.
The real purpose of this book is to help people whose conditions are "invisible," and therefore ignored or underplayed in their daily lives and relationships. I would imagine that anyone who has an ICI has experienced at least once the "You're sick? You look all pink and healthy!" comment from a well-meaning friend. Actually, it's your medication, your lupus rash, or a chronic fever that gives you that oh-so-rosy glow. If this has ever happened to you or to a loved one, you will get a lot out of reading this book and realizing that you're not alone and that there are ways of coping with your condition.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Practical and Welcome Resource
This is without a doubt the best book on chronic illness I have ever read. It is written well and is easy to read. Read more
Published on July 5 2000 by Mark J. Driscoll
2.0 out of 5 stars A Pat Resource
Donoghue and Siegel are taking a psychological approach to persons with invisible chronic illness, but even so, don't really have much that's new to say. Read more
Published on June 30 2000 by Courtney L. Lewis
5.0 out of 5 stars Not Just for the Chronically Ill
During 25 years of practice in clinical psychology I have found few books as helpful as this one. It does what I have always held to be the central idea of my work; to integrate... Read more
Published on March 19 2000
4.0 out of 5 stars It helped me deal with my Crohns emotionally...
I was eating healthy, exercising regularly, and getting plenty of rest - but because of my Cronic Illness, I constantly felt tired. Read more
Published on Jan. 12 2000
5.0 out of 5 stars Required reading for any caregiver
I found this book extremely helpful, not only as a sufferer of CFS and fibromyalgia, but as a nurse caring for many patients with many chronic illnesses. Read more
Published on Dec 31 1999 by Nanci
5.0 out of 5 stars I finally found something useful
I have been a CFIDS "survivor" for two years now. Living in a small town, I am one of very very few CFIDS patients. Read more
Published on Dec 16 1999
5.0 out of 5 stars ICI happens to men, too!
Probably because of the statistics that women are more susceptable (debatable, IMHO, because of social stigmas that restrict men from admitting "weakness"), this book is... Read more
Published on Dec 16 1999
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