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Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After [Paperback]

Bella DePaulo
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
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Book Description

Oct. 30 2007
"Singled Out debunks myths and stereotypes about single people and lays the groundwork for social, political, and economic change."
-- Thomas F. Coleman, Executive Director, Unmarried America
Drawing from decades of scientific research and stacks of stories from the front lines of singlehood, Bella DePaulo debunks the myths of singledom---and shows that just about everything you’ve heard about the benefits of getting married and the perils of staying single are grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. Although singles are singled out for unfair treatment by the workplace, the marketplace, and the federal tax structure, they are not simply victims of this singlism--single people really are living happily ever after.
Singled Out Debunks Ten Myths of Singlehood, Including:
-Myth--The Dark Aura of Singlehood: You are miserable and lonely and your life is tragic.
-Myth--Attention, Single Women: Your work won’t love you back and your eggs will dry up. Also, you don’t get any and you’re promiscuous.
-Myth--Attention, Single Men: You are horny, slovenly, and irresponsible, and you are the scary criminals. Or you are sexy, fastidious, frivolous, and gay.
“Elegant analysis, wonderfully detailed examples, and clear and witty prose…A must-read for all single adults, their friends and families, as well as social scientists and policy advocates.”
--E. Kay Trimberger, author of The New Single Woman
“The singles movement is coming to a bookstore near you.”
--Associated Press
“Fascinating  . .this book could hardly have come at a better time. As much as societal adulation of the couple discriminates against single people, Singled Out suggests that it can also undermine marriage.”
--The Christian Science Monitor

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From Publishers Weekly

DePaulo fastidiously defines the various categories of singlehood-divorced, widowed or just plain never been married-and gives their struggle a voice in this intriguing cultural study. According to DePaulo, "singlism" is the pervasive discrimination single people face in politics and everyday life, though DePaulo makes it clear he isn't equating it with racism or sexism. Rather, DePaulo uncovers society's immediate associations-conscious and otherwise-with the word "single," including the implication of loneliness, homosexuality and/or a personal defect that prevents a single person from achieving the dubiously enshrined goal of marriage. In addition, this exhaustive study reveals how marriage has come to represent the foundation of both American society and politics, and how the resulting system of discrimination pervades even in this modern age of financial freedom-including increased tax burdens, decreased social security benefits, and real-world wage disparity. In identifying the stigmas of being single and debunking myths like "marrieds know best," DePaulo has given this complicated subject the attention and respect it deserves, opening a dialogue without offering any pat solutions.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.


"Singled Out" may be the single most important book you buy this year."
--Bookworm Sez
"Gleefully debunks a number of sad-sack "facts." According to DePaulo's myth-busting research, [singles] are every bit as happy, healthy, and long-lived as couples."
--Seattle Metropolitan
"If you're sick of your family asking, "So when are you gonna settle down?" or your boss saddling you with a fatter workload than your married coworkers, you will love Dr. Bella DePaulo's insightful, irreverent book."
--Michelle Goodman, author of The Anti 9-to-5 Guide
"An engaging new book that brims with invigorating wit and unparalleled perspective."
--Tucson Citizen
"Intriguing cultural study . . .DePaulo has given this complicated subject the attention and respect it deserves."
--Publisher's Weekly
"DePaulo dismantles [a few other] claims of the pro-marriage lobby."
--Time Magazine
"Don't miss Bella DePaulo's Singled Out."
--Sasha Cagen, author of QuirkyAlone
"She has a message for singles and couples alike: If you forget about your nonromantic relationships, you're missing out on a whole lot of love."
--Santa Barbara News-Press
"An expose of the widespread cultural bias facing unmarried adults in America."
--Harvard Magazine
"[A] terrific book"
--Amy Alkon, Syndicated Advice Columnist
"A masterpiece…filled with inspirational quotes…Every single should read this book"
--Yuspie (Young Urban Single Professionals of Indiana) Book Club
"[Shows that singles] can be as productive, charming, fun, moral, and wise as their coupled counterparts"
--Virginia Quarterly Review
"DePaulo combines her training as a social psychologist with wit and sharp analysis, bringing the entire "marriage is better" argument down like a house of cards."
--Windy City Times

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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars ALLBOOKS REVIEW Oct. 13 2007
The hook lies on the front cover of the book jacket: "How singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and ignored, and still live Happily Ever After". In Singled Out, Dr. DePaulo debunks the American "Matrimania" myths in a logical, scientific manner that's (thankfully) peppered with plenty of anecdotal humor and written in a loose, non-academic style that makes for an easy, enjoyable read.
DePaulo starts out by showing us how prejudice against singles has played out in history and then goes on to debunk the claims of Waite & Galligher, scientifically demonstrating how their erroneous claims that married folks are happier, healthier, live longer, and even have more frequent and more enjoyable sex were founded on biases studies and statistics. She discusses the fact that society equates marriage with validation. And how about the perks and benefits of most government entitlements, such as Social Security? Or running for political office? Up for a promotion? . . . Well, your chances are certainly better if you're married. DePaulo humorously shows how TV shows, magazines, and even talk shows tout the Holy Grail of Marriage--with the wedding ceremony as the ultimate climax in life. She uses the acronym BLAME to describe society's view of singles: Bitter, Loveless, Alone, Miserable, and Envious. Whoa! Does that spark a vision of the ol' "Lonely Hearts Club" or what? Seems the gist of the media message is that single equals lonely. Singles are portrayed as immature and self-centered. Self-centered, asks DePaulo? How about the debauchery of weddings? How self-centered is that?
In her bio, Dr. DePaulo, a social psychologist who did her graduate work at Harvard, is single and Living Happily Ever After in California--certainly qualified to write Single Out. She invites you to visit her website at [...
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Worth the Read Feb. 20 2011
This book is well worth the read. I heard about it on CBC Radio and bought it right away. Married people may not be as interested but it's a definite for singles, especially for those who feel unfulfilled without a partner. It will make you want to be single! The ways we discriminate against singles in our culture, without realizing it, is unbelievable! A must read for those interested in human rights and philosophical issues. The book is educational and well researched. Bright Reader
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