Snakes on a Plane [Mass Market Paperback]

The movie is guaranteed to become the cult classic of the year, and if this book is an indicator, it's going to have people squirming in their seats come August 16, 2006.

Herpetologists are going to be squirming with glee at the concept of an airplane besieged by some of the rarest, deadliest snakes in the world, lovingly described in this book by color, size, venom, fangs and rattle.

Animal lovers are going to be squirming in outrage. Yes, I'm afraid to say that many snakes were harmed at least virtually and/or in print during the filming and writing of this pulp-noir-horror-action outrageously campy thriller. To add insult to injury, the snakes are all hopped up and out of their tiny little cold-blooded minds on pheromones. (Owners of handbag sized yappy Chihuahuas won't be very happy either.)

Readers of classic works of fiction are going to squirm at the comic book intensity of this book, where the author keeps piling on the ridiculous dialogue, plot contrivances, cartoon characters of every possible stereotype and of course snakes - lots of snakes.

Apologies for bringing up Paris Hilton here, but she's everywhere already, including in this book. Paris would squirm if she were to read this book (big stretch here), but it also gives equal treatment to rap stars and their bodyguards, animal activists, martial arts practitioners, male flight attendants, kids from broken homes, pregnant women, nursing mothers, gangsters, rock musicians, extreme sports aficionados, computer industry executives, FBI agents, Mary Kate and Ashley, and more. (They didn't leave anyone out)

Fanboys and girls won't be able to sit still while reading this book.

People who hate snakes are just going to squirm - period.

Basically, the story is about a slacker surfer dude from Hawaii who witnesses a murder while out joyriding on his 2006 Yamaha TT-R125E Off Road dirt bike (gratuitous product placement plug here) The Feds need him to testify against the rich, spoiled, ruthless, bad guy gangster, and so they have to get him to the mainland in one piece.

They commandeer the entire first class section of a commercial airplane after cleverly using an FBI jet as a decoy, not realizing that their deluxe cover has already been blown. The bad guys can't let the kid testify, and as they just happen to have access to a large collection of brainwashed exotic venomous snakes and some orchids, they make do with what they have.

The major part of the book is devoted to the passenger list, but I've already given you a list of the stereotypes on board, so we won't go there again. The action builds as the snakes escape their flowery prison, slithering their way through the various little tunnels, ducts and shafts of the airplane. (If you've seen Flightplan, you'll know that there are lots of hiding places on a plane) The survivors battle the never-ending variety of creepy crawlies, throwing up barricades of hand luggage and using whatever weapons they can fabricate at short notice. At one climatic point, a gargantuan twenty-foot Burmese python crashes through a bulkhead light. (Yeah! THAT'S what I'm talking about - that could really happen!)

It goes without saying that by the time we get close to the end of the flight, all the pilots and flight deck crew are incapacitated or otherwise engaged, and SOMEBODY'S gotta land the plane. To quote from the book "Copy that, Hula one two one ..... Welcome to Los Angeles." (The last couple of chapters are too hokey and maudlin for comment, so you can forget them completely.)

If you're entertained by totally ridiculous stuff, you'll love this book, and may already be waiting in line for your movie tickets.

Amanda Richards, August 2, 2006

Heart stopping action with snakes, and a plane! This is book had a life changing effect on me. I learned to love mother natures little helpers, but not if they are on a plane. You have to get the mother freakings snakes off the plane.

This is probably the best book I've ever read. It has action, suspense, everything. I can't wait for the movie. Christa Faust really does a nice job. I couldn't put the book down until it was done.

› Go to Amazon.com to see all 13 reviews  4.5 out of 5 stars