My wife made it as far as the point in the film where the python shows up, and then she fled the theater. Prior to that point she had jumped and screamed eight times, hit me four times, and dug her fingernails into my arm three times. She also took several opportunities to tell me that I owed her because I was making her watch this movie, but that was before she got up and left me there alone. To be fair, she did return for the end of the movie, by which time she had apparently reconsidered our situation during that interim period and had upgraded by status so that she now informed me that she owned me and that she would determine how and when I would be made to pay for this.
When I suggested going to a movie today because Friday is (usually) the day that new films show up in town and she asked me what we could go see I had said, "Snakes on a Plane." I had expected her to say "No." Actually I was hoping that she would say, "There is no way that I am going to see that m****r-f********g film about those m****r-f********g snakes on that m****r-f********g plane," but that is simply not her style. So I did not really think she would want to see this film and would maintain that she went of her own free will. However, when I suggested that we would have to own this film when it came out on DVD she told me that would be the day I would be moving out of the house. Consequently, I have to suggest that "Snakes on a Plane" might not be the best date movie currently available at your local cinema.
The premise of "SoaP" (great acronym) is elegantly simple. Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips) witnesses the murder of an L.A. district attorney who is vacationing in Hawai'i. Being flown to Los Angeles to testify against the killer, Jones is in the care of FBI Agent Nelville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson). However, the killer has arranged for what appears to be at least one of every venomous snake on the face of the planet to be let loose during the flight, thereby realizing the title of the film. Also include in the cast are: Julianna Margulies as Claire Miller, the flight attendant who is on her final flight; Flex Alexander as Three Gi's, the rap star aboard the plane; Kenan Thompson as Troy, one of the rapper's two hefty bodyguards; and Rachel Blanchard as Mercedes, who appears to be a Paris Hilton wannabe. Basically everybody on the film is a designed character (e.g., the irate First Class passenger, the newlyweds, the kick boxer, etc.), and when we meet them we are not really trying to learn anything about them, but just calculate their chances of being alive by the end credits (which you should stick around and watch for the music video). Fortunately there are almost as many heroes as there are victims on this particular doomed flight.
Basically, this 2006 film delivers exactly what the title promises. Despite the famous line paraphrased and censored above, Jackson's character does not curse much in this film, which is a shame because nobody curses like Samuel L. Jackson (and that includes the character of Al Swearagen on "Deadwood," and that fellow is no slouch when it comes to the art of the profane tirade). What is important is that they come up with a way for the snakes to start attacking everybody on the plane at once, although we have to build up to that with an initial series of attacks before the snakes hit the fan. I was not happy that they kept making the same mistake several times (leaving one person alone in the cockpit flying the plane), and the green "snake-o-vision" was nothing special, but otherwise I was able to put both logic and reasoning on the back burner for this one. Plus, my wife fled the theater and you just have to round up for any movie that makes that happen.