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1.0 out of 5 stars
Missed The Mark, Jun 26 2005
By A Customer
I feel this book falls FAR short of the mark in helping children discuss sexual abuse. It veers off into fantasy and that could be confusing for some children. I didn't like the way a lion helps a "gender-neutral" child disclose sexual abuse. I felt the lion added a touch of the whimsical and detracted from the very real concerns surrounding the issue of child molestation. On the plus side of the ledger, the feelings that accompany sexual abuse are not limited to either gender but are universal and that point is made in this book. Even so, I would not have found this book helpful at any age. The rationale the lion gives the child as to why predators target children was worded in a way that sounds as if predatory behavior was being condoned. The reasons stated herein are NOT valid reasons for child molestation and there is NEVER any excuse to abuse children. As a child, I was led to believe that "bad touches" were only recognized as such if done by strangers. That made me wonder if one had recourse when "bad touches" were NOT executed by strangers. Although I never bought the theory that only strangers were predators, the issue of "bad touches" being done by somebody one knew was not addressed. Had I read this book during those years, I would have wondered why the lion "was telling that kid it's [bad touches] okay" for the reasons provided. I would also have been angry and thought, "I don't like that [bad touches] and even if it's somebody you know, it is STILL bad." I amend my earlier stand to state that if it is somebody the child knows, that is far worse because trust issues are severely impaired. One has no reason to trust or distrust a stranger, but in the case of someone a child knows, that makes for a more threatening environment. I take issue with the way the book appears to be more sympathetic towards predators and downplays the serious repercussions predatory behavior has. I would think that by the time this was published, stupid myths such as this would have long been dispelled. I cannot in good conscience recommend this one. Read read "Your Body Belongs to You" by Cornelia Spelman; "My Body Belongs to Me" by Freeman, et al.; "My Body is Private" by Linda Walvoord Girard and "The Right Touch: A Read Aloud to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse" by Sandy Kleven instead. I also highly recommend Peter Alsop's collection "Songs on Sex & Sexuality," especially the song, "My Body" which teaches these important safety lessons about predators in a gentle, loving and straightforward manner.
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5.0 out of 5 stars
It helped my kids, April 23 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Something Happened and I'm Scared to Tell (Paperback)
I recently adopted two young children and began to suspect they had been sexually abused. My preschool daughter even underwent a forensic examination but did not disclose anything. I read them this book, however, and it sparked a discussion about sex and what happens during sex that led to them disclosing the very serious abuse they underwent. So even though this book is not perfect, the illustrations are not in color, for example, it would be the highest rating possible from me.
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2.0 out of 5 stars
Some good things, but BE CAREFUL!, Mar 1 2001
This review is from: Something Happened and I'm Scared to Tell (Paperback)
In this book, a friendly lion helps a child come to terms with the reality of sexual abuse. The use of an androgynous child should help both males and females to recognize themselves, and the discussion of common feelings related to abuse (such as fear, guilt, and confusion) is valuable. However, as a survivor of sexual abuse myself, I was shocked and dismayed by the list of possible reasons abusers target children. The lion tells the child that child abusers may be afraid to love adults, and that adolescent offenders may simply be "curious about sex." It is my opinion that these are not valid reasons to abuse a child. Such misinformation only detracts from the child's needs by "explaining away" behavior and making the abuser an object of pity. As a result, a child may feel that it is wrong to feel angry or sad, because the perpetrator, being "afraid to love grownups," had no choice but to abuse. I am sure this is not the message the author intended to convey. However, if I had read this book as a child, I am certain I would have felt terrible for my abuser and therefore locked myself further into silence. If you must use this book, tell a child that much has been learned and acknowledged since its publication. Also, look for books published in 1993 or later. Great strides have been made in the last eight years.
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