Yeah, I watched it! So what?! When you know what you're going in for, this kind of movie has many merits. Sorority Row is a movie about a killer who meanders through an alcohol-soaked, drug-fueled, sex-crazed, sorority McMansion during the end of the year party indiscriminately butchering the tight-bodied, scantily-clothed co-eds - and their dufus boyfriends - who may or may not have knowledge of a murder cover-up involving a senior soror who got chucked down a well like baby Jessica.
Additionally, the cheese-covered horror rules are followed perfectly: The phones get no reception unless receiving a horrifying, tension-increasing picture or video from the killer. A dark, mysterious figure in a face-covering graduation robe, the killer is so derivative that I imagined the character holding the fishing hook from I Know What You Did Last Summer (IKWYDLS) and wearing the mask from the Scream Trilogy, neither of which happened. There is full frontal nudity that serves no other purpose than checking off the nudity requirement. Characters who engage in illicit sex almost certainly die. Characters who elicit groans or disapproval from the audience are guaranteed excruciating deaths. And, finally, there is inevitably more than one "twist" to mislead the viewers attempting early killer recognition.
As for the characters, just picture IKWYDLS and replace the male characters with gorgeous, nubile, women in their early twenties. It's the "talented" Megan (Audrina Partridge); smokin' hot Cassidy (Briana Evigan), the girl with the moral compass; Chugs (Margo Harshman), the sorority's resident slut (who is present in all real life sororities); the sexy Claire (Jamie Chung), fulfills multicultural standards for the sorority's funding purposes; the blonde vixen Jessica (Leah Pipes), who is as ruthless as she is beautiful; and Ellie (Rumer Willis), the slack-jawed, kind of ugly girl (but with a nice body) all sororities need for term papers and to increase cumulative GPA. Aside from the main cast, there is an endless supply of hotties prancing around in lingerie (or less) and either dancing about in the soapy bubbles from an overflowing hot tub or having a feather pillow fight in pajamas with exposed behinds. Read that last sentence again.
As for the plot, a sorority prank goes wrong, one of the sisters dies and the rest of the movie is about the characters covering up the murder, repenting their actions, or playing a deadly game of cat-and-mouse with a tire-iron wielding killer who appears to have an oral fixation. Pretty standard, suspenseful stuff.
Aside from my belief that Ellie should have been the victim of the prank, thereby improving the possible skin-to-film ratio, the directing, acting, special effects, and all other aspects representative of any number of recent Hollywood horror flicks are sufficient. No awards will be won, but I'd probably watch it again for hot chicks and bad jokes.