Sorry, Not Dead Yet!: A Tapestry of Inspiration and Survival Against the Odds [Hardcover]

This is a gut wrenching rollercoaster ride through the life of a man forced to visit hell's darkest corners in order to discover a sense of self worth and a reason to live.

It's certainly not for the faint hearted because there's plenty of sexually explicit content - sometimes shocking, sometimes amusing and always written with the kind of searing honesty which leaves you reeling.

The writing style is a fascinating blend of punch in the face prose (at times you really do wonder what's hit you) peppered with beautifully crafted poetic passages.

So many of us in Western society wear so many masks these days that it's a very rare privilege to be allowed to see straight into the heart and soul of a fellow human being. It must have taken some real guts for the author - who once handed out business cards with the words "An experience above a lay" - to have laid himself so completely bare (this time in the literary sense!).

It's an incredibly powerful, brutally honest story of parental rejection, abandonment, ultimate betrayal and the deepest possible despair. It charts the tale of a lost and lonely Dutch boy who sets forth to the New World with high hopes of finding his place and purpose in life.

Those hopes are shattered into a million pieces in some of the cruellest ways imaginable, culminating in his darkest hour - 10am on July 5 2001 when he finds out he's HIV+.

So far, so bad. This should be a really depressing book but in fact it's quite the opposite. The author's razor sharp wit and natural gift for writing sweep us along with him on unstoppable waves of laugh out loud passages, highly entertaining anecdotes and insightful social commentary.

Ultimately this is a truly uplifting story of triumph over adversity.

You'd think there's nothing very Disney-esque about HIV, crystal meth addiction and rampant gay sex. But there's a real Cinderella quality about this book.

Against all the odds, we're left with the feeling that the author is one of the lucky few who's managing to do what most of us only dream about...live happily ever after.

Against All Odds

I am glad Sven Paardekooper wrote this book and glad I read it. After total rejection and betrayal from family, friends and from himself, the author takes us on a trip through hell. Depression, an addiction to crystal meth, an out of control sex life. What makes it possible for one person to find his path through the darkest labyrinth while so many others lose their way forever? In this case, his writing as much as anything sees him through, for it was his journal of this harrowing journey that helps bring him out into the light. That and his humor, sometimes just hilarious and other times mordant. And of course there is an element of mysterious grace, unearned blessings, that we can all receive if we are open. I say mysterious for who can understand why some are open to that blessing and others can't seem to be?

The book is written as a journal, or "editorials" as the author likes to put it, to unnamed friends, and to us, his new friends, the unnamed readers who must become his friends as we read. Of course, we know how the book turns out for he has written "Sorry, Not Dead Yet." Still, we are pulling for him as he goes through his living nightmare for basically he is a compassionate, sensitive and loving man. One who battled some tough starts in life to come out stronger and better in every way.

Don't be put off by a few unique phrases and word choices and the occasional error in grammar or vocabulary. These are not the result of sloppiness or laziness. The author has a remarkable command of English for one whose native language is Dutch and who came to the US as an adult. These different ways of expressing himself add an extra element of charm to what could be a very depressing read. That and the irrepressible humor, even in the darkest night, will see you through. Like me, you will feel that you have found a new friend when you close the book. And you will want to change the title to "Thank all Goodness, he is alive and well."