Splendour and Squalor: The Decline and Fall of Three Aristocratic Dynasties [Hardcover]

The inhabitants of the British Isles have bequeathed many fabled gifts to civilization - the works of Shakespeare and the Magna Carta come to mind - but no gift keeps giving quite like the antics of aristocrats behaving badly. I speak not of Earls whose addiction to gambling leads them to invent the Sandwich or Dukes who set up a second life as a baker. No, I mean badly; really, epically, occasionally criminally badly. If you want to read about members of the peerage behaving badly on a nuclear scale then Marcus Scriven has written the book for you.

Alternately hilarious and sad (and sometimes both), the stories of four awesomely awful individuals show exactly what too much money plus zero parental oversight can do to a person. The consequences range from multiple bankruptcies, multiple wives, prison sentences, a "lifelong shriek for attention" and being declared (by a judge) "absurdly stupid." Alcohol, drugs, excessive spending, adultery, more alcohol, more drugs, sexual experimentation and, above all, consistently bad judgment: it's like a century long frat party. With family crests on the silver.

Scriven provides a smorgasbord of witticisms about the lunacies he details but some of the best lines are delivered seriously by the participants. Consider the ex-wife (one of many) of the Duke of Manchester who describes her home as an "upholstered sewer outside Melbourne". (The things they're doing with waterproof fabric these days!) Or the Marquess of Bristol who declares that he didn't go to his father's wedding to his secretary because "I don't go to office parties." Or, my favorite, the friend who describes the relative merits of the Marquess's favorite driver thusly, "being illiterate he couldn't read the road signs, so not the greatest chauffeur."

At one point in the festivities the utterly insane Marquess of Bristol joins forces with the equally batty Clint Murchinson Jr (of The Big Rich fame) to invest in oil fields. When John Murchinson suggests that they "saddle up the jet" it's really anyone's guess which activity any of them had in mind. One feels a certain kinship with the observer who states, "What I'm wondering is, where are the white sheep in this family?" No where in this book, thankfully.

A fun, fast blissfully witty book. Marcus Scriven writes like the world's most erudite gossip columnist and for that I love him. Essential reading for anyone who enjoys fabulousness and wit.

Kindle note: there are, tragically, no photographs in the Kindle version despite the index of photos being tauntingly included up front. When one reads of a Duchess who routinely begins notes to friends with the words "Well Kid how is your sex life?" one wants to see what the letter writer looked like.

This book is about families full of crazy people, which are my favorite kind. Writing their stories, Marcus Scriven made me laugh -- alternately hilariously, sorrowfully, disbelievingly, and in horror. Sometimes he made me laugh those four different ways all on the same page! I am envious of the Brits. America has nothing to compare with the FitzGerald/Duncombe/Graham, Hervey, and Montagu households.

Marcus Scriven's "Splendor to Squalor" is a must read for everyone who loves English history. The stories and intrigues he shares with his readers about these three families (FitzGeralds, Duncombes, & Grahams/Herveys/Montagus) evoke the full range of emotions from laughter to sadness. Scriven does a masterful job of detailing the eccentricities of the very rich, underscoring the dark abyss that awaits anyone whose life is dedicated only to the pursuit of pleasure. A student of history might easily see this as a cautionary tale for what awaits the very wealthy of any society who live a life without purpose, but even more disturbing is the book's applicability to American society today. When popular magazines start printing stories about "Are We Becoming Too Narcissistic?" as a nation, I fear we may already be slipping into that abyss formerly reserved for the aristocrats of this world.

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