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Staying Connected To Your Teenager: How To Keep Them Talking To You And How To Hear What They're Really Saying [Paperback]

Michael Riera
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
List Price: CDN$ 19.50
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Book Description

April 17 2003
At last, a book of sage advice that will help frustrated parents reconnect with their teenager and keep that connection even in today's often-crazy world.The first step is simple: realizing that inside every teen resides two very different people-the regressed child and the emergent adult. The emergent adult is seen at school, on the playing field, in his first job, and in front of his friends' families. Unfortunately, his parents usually see only the regressed child-moody and defiant-and,if they're not on the lookout, they'll miss seeing the more agreeable, increasingly adult thinker in their midst.With ingenious strategies for coaxing the more attractive of the two teen personalities into the home, family psychologist Mike Riera gives new hope to beleaguered and harried parents. From moving from a "managing" to a "consulting" role in a teen's life, from working with a teen's uniquely exasperating sleep rhythms to having real conversations when only monosyllables have been previously possible, Staying Connected to Your Teenager demonstrates ways to bring out the best in a teen-and, consequently, in an entire family.

Frequently Bought Together

Staying Connected To Your Teenager: How To Keep Them Talking To You And How To Hear What They're Really Saying + Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind + How To Talk So Teens Will Listen And Listen So Teens Will Talk
Price For All Three: CDN$ 41.47


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Product Description

Review

Bay Area Parent, 2/09
“Good advice for parents frustrated with trying to communicate with their teenagers.”

Westchester Family, January 2009
“Good advice for parents frustrated with trying to communicate with their teenagers.”

About the Author

Michael Riera, Ph.D. , has worked in education since 1980. The author or co-author of four other popular parenting books including Field Guide to the American Teenager and Uncommon Sense for Parents of Teenagers, he is the family and adolescent correspondent on "The CBS Early Show." He has also appeared on "Oprah," "Today," "The View," and "48 Hours." He lives in Berkeley, California.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
It was one of those nights when I kept tossing turning, but sleep still eluded me. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Mike Riera is a the best in his field June 6 2003
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Mike Riera writes about teens in a way that demonstrates his incredible respect for them. He helps us to take teens seriously, and not to dismiss their behavior as simply "dramatic" or "a stage."
He is truly gifted, as a writer and a professional working with teens and families. He is thoughtful, real, and accessible to parents and to teens. I use his work everyday to inform my own work with teens, and his books are an incredible resource to offer to parents.
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5.0 out of 5 stars love it May 26 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book hits the right tone and is so relate toable. It really describes my teenager and helped me to understand her behavior.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 4.7 out of 5 stars  38 reviews
98 of 99 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable Insight Dec 4 2007
By Everyman - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is by far the best book I have EVER read regarding my relationship with my two teenagers! One of the most revealing things to hit me was the concept of transitioning from a "Manager" to a "Consultant" in your relationship with your teen...how profoundly helpful.
No other book has helped me on so many levels in my relations with my children. I am divorced father and have an ex who didn't care to co-parent because she was sure that she knew everything about raising kids that I didn't. That may have rung true to an extent until they became teenagers.
As a result of putting into practice what I learned in this book, my son and daughter told me of their partying habits and that of their friends, in addition to other confidentialities. They confided in me that they told me things they wouldn't dare tell their mother. A couple of times they got drunk and called me because they knew that I would deal with them differently than their mother...all because of what I learned from this insightful book. I have had a very satisfying relationship with them both in terms of communication and openness, which has enriched my life to no end, and I believe theirs as well. My son called me from college one night several years later and thanked me for our relationship...which almost brought me to tears. We remain as close as we became when he was a teen. My teenage daughter and I have a great relationship as well. I have recommended this book to many of my friends who have teenagers. This should be REQUIRED reading for parents of teenagers! You really HAVE to read this book to effectively understand and be able to interact with your teen(s). I read this over several times and had sections marked as references to keep it fresh.
52 of 54 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book Oct. 14 2007
By J J Dillo - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
My daughter is just about to turn 14. She is a great kid but in the last 6 months I had really had a harder and harder time talking to her. I found I lost my temper on a regular basis when she didn't do what I wanted or act like I wanted...I am about 75% through the book and I can honestly say it has helped me tremendously. I no longer get mad, I understand much better how to deal with her and that its not me. I have been able to apply some of the techniques decribed in the book and they work. Highly recommend to anyone who has teenagers.
114 of 125 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Mike Riera is a the best in his field June 6 2003
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Mike Riera writes about teens in a way that demonstrates his incredible respect for them. He helps us to take teens seriously, and not to dismiss their behavior as simply "dramatic" or "a stage."
He is truly gifted, as a writer and a professional working with teens and families. He is thoughtful, real, and accessible to parents and to teens. I use his work everyday to inform my own work with teens, and his books are an incredible resource to offer to parents.
22 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An Intellectual Floatation Device for Drowning Parents June 16 2009
By Allan M. Lees - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
My daughter is nearly twelve and for the last few months our relationship has been deteriorating steadily. She's such a different personality from me that I found my intuition - which has always helped me greatly with my son - was of no use at all. All I knew was that on a daily basis I was failing as a parent and neither of us were having any fun.

Staying Connected To Your Teenager has been extremely helpful in providing some perspective and some useful suggestions. Like many other books of this type, often the greatest benefit comes from stepping back a little and considering events from a slightly new perspective. When I disagree with the author I find myself having to think through my own approach carefully, which is very beneficial. And when the author seems to be on solid ground I feel as if I've been given a key to the door that has until now barred the way between my daughter and me.

As a European I'm still puzzled as to why American teenagers seem to be so much more difficult to handle than teenagers in other cultures. Perhaps it is a combination of an extended childhood, the lack of serious responsibilities, and an entertainment-oriented lifestyle in which if things are not effortlessly fun they are automatically boring. But whatever the underlying causes of American Teenage Malaise, my daughter is 100% American raised and consequently I need to understand how to be a more effective parent in this context. This book has provided me with several useful approaches and has led to me developing several more as a result of thinking through matters in light of the author's observations.

I do wish there was an alternative to the standard American approach to sexuality but the innate assumptions of the author, made explicit, have helped me to understand a little more how US culture sees this area of human activity and therefore, by extension, how my daughter will increasingly see it as she grows up. I may not like it, but I need to understand it and react accordingly, even while I yearn for some way that she could spend a few years elsewhere to round out her understanding and provide a more adult context for this important part of human life.

I can recommend this highly to anyone struggling with the teenage years, even if - as is my case - the children in question aren't even officially teenagers yet.
21 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A must for parents of teenagers Dec 5 2007
By E. Gerberding - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I just finished this and passed it on to my husband to read (after highlighting many sections that apply specifically to our relationship with our 15 year old daughter). I learned so many things from this book - about myself AND my daughter. One of the most helpful discoveries was realizing that she actually is a normal and fairly typical teenager and, much to my relief, is not in need of an exorcism. I've seen a difference already in our ability to communicate effectively with each other and I'll refer to this book again and again ... especially with our son's teenage years just around the corner.
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