Stiffed [Paperback]

 

 

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This is an excellent book, but it is marred I believe by two flaws.

(1) It fails to address the central stream of feminist thought flowing directly from Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton and the original Women's Convention of 1848 together with the Declaration of Women's Rights and Women's Suffrage which ended in the granting of Women's Suffrage with the 19th Amendment in 1920, but failed to result in real equality due to the failure to enact an Equal Rights Amendment. The Central Stream re-emerges again with the movement for the passage of the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970s, and after the passage of several Constitutional Amendments, the ERA is passed by all but the three states necessary, Susan B. Anthony is on a Dollar Coin, but then the Republican Party changes against ERA and the ERA fails. This failure of the ERA to pass should really be the central and starting point of any reasonable discussion of feminism or why men do not treat women as equal. More pertinently, Faludi does not emerge or posit a coherent political strategy for the re-passage of the ERA and its ratification and adoption by the 3/4 of the states necessary.

(2) The book is bogged down in literary critical theory muddles which mask and mystify in Marxian/Habermasian/Foucoultian fashion the central issue of the gender gap and what it means. Are men suppose to raise kids? Are men supposed to always earn more money? Are these matters culturally different depending upon the ethnicity, religion or geography of the individuals involved? For example, and if you saw My Big Fat Greek Wedding you know what I am talking about, I am from a tightly knit Greek American family from the Northeast. Family and gender roles are tightly defined by the church, by parents and by our 200 or more relatives here and around the world. There isn't a minute in our busy days when we have time to think about Simone de Bouvier or Sartre, although my husband and I are both well educated and have read all of the theory and philosophy referred to in Ms. Faludi's book. IT JUST ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE ANYTHING WE'RE DOING BECAUSE FAMILY ROLES IN A TRADITIONAL SOCIETY DON'T CHANGE BECAUSE SOME WRITER WRITES DOWN WORDS. The reason Greek and Jewish people have been around for 3500 years is a stable family structure which puts a value on kids, with defined parenting roles. If we mess around with that, we lose our ethnic and our spiritual identity.

So for these two reasons, I don't think Ms. Faludi addresses her topic adequates--the ERA and plain talk about men and women.

--Mary M. Zissimos

As a man and Faludi fan, I jumped at this book when it came out. I read Backlash, and found Faludi's arguments urgent and persuasive. It won many awards precisely because it presented exhaustive research and brilliant reportage. In Backlash, Faludi made some very strong, brave claims, and they wound up totally convincing because of her disection of each issue. I was very disappointed when I finished Stiffed, to find that Faludi used the very methods of research she vehemently (and astutely) criticized in Backlash!

Backlash was ground-breaking because Faludi dismantled the "research" and "evidence" presented to America by the media, who never bothered to analyze the studies they were reporting on, e.g. irresponsible journalism. She managed to skillfully show how even the studies by top-notch, esteemed scholars were just methodologically flawed, biased diatribes. She even criticizes Queen-Feminist Betty Friedan for asserting in The Second Stage that men may not be able to bend for every feminist demand simply because men already feel so weak in this culture.

So, then, after being so impressed by Backlash, I pick up Stiffed. The first chapter is precisly arguing what Friedan (and five or six male authors she included in Backlash) was villified for.

But the most glaring, irrepairable flaw in Stiffed, as other reviewers have alluded to, is this: many of the influential research done is the 80's was effectively weakened by Faludi's observation, in Backlash, that small samples were used to explain the attitudes and behaviors of all American women. In fact, THE book on the effects of divorce on women, was viewed as obsolete by Faludi because the author relied on 20 or so women, who were dealing with special circumstances. When reading Stiffed, one can't help but remember this powerful argument against misrepresenting a population. In fact, Faludi, in Stiffed, relies on 10 men...and men who no doubt were included for their unique and extreme situations. Faludi dismissed the women in the divorce study becuase they were welfare recepients, which, she argued, would no doubt present unique struggles. Then, in Stiffed, she asks the reader to accept the underlying issues and negativity in men based on her sample. (Porn Stars, Sylvester Stallone, the Spur Posse, students at the Citadel) You get the point.

While the topic of man's futile quest for masculinity is VERY important and relevant, the bottom line is this: AFTER READING STIFFED, ONE CAN'T HELP IMAGINE, HAD IT BEEN WRITTEN BY SOMEONE ELSE, WHAT A BRILLIANT AND ENTERTAINING JOB FALUDI WOULD HAVE DONE BUTCHERING THE METHODOLOGY AND FINDINGS IN HER BOOK BACKLASH!

Trust me, this is not the book to read if you were empowered by "Backlash," and want it to remain a source of reference and scholarly achievement.

Stiffed is not up to the landmark level Susan Faludi reached with Backlash, to be sure. However some of the negative reviews derive their "facts" from something other than what's contained in this book.
Comments on Faludi's appearence seem to be based upon confusing/lumping her with Naomi Wolf (both are strong writers but they bear little resemblences in their grooming standards). Other "reviews" seem to be based upon what they think might be in the book as opposed to what's actually in the text. (Reading Stiffed would provide those "reviewers" with a stronger grasp of the actual book.)
I've now read the book five times and will surely read it many times more in the future. I bought it at a local bookstore when it came out (in the pre-online shopping jump). Backlash was and is an amazing book. As her follow up to Backlash, Stiffed can not help but suffer from comparisons.
The hardcover editions of both demonstrate that smaller type was used for Stiffed -- especially on the subheadings. Backlash weighed in at 460 pages and Stiffed weighs in at 608 -- in smaller type. So Faludi certainly gets in more words here.
That makes it all the more surprising to me that Stiffed did not provide more enjoyment. (Where, for instance, is the humor evidenced in Backlash -- as when Faludi answers two questions for Susan Brownmiller?)
Her case studies are strong. That's not the problem. It's her scope and the way she puts it together. She devotes a section to Promise Keepers, or rather local Promise Keepers groups where men share their feelings and experiences. I was distressed reading this section. The groups seem to serve some need for the men involved in them and let's hope they bring the peace the men seem to think they do. But regardless of that, they are a part of the larger group Promise Keepers and I feel it was remiss on Faludi's part not to present an analysis of the larger group. Now maybe Faludi, as a woman, can't get a close up look to the larger group.
I attended one gathering (and I believe women weren't allowed at this conference -- they certainly weren't allowed to speak). Nationally known male figures spoke and what they said was troublesome to me. (Along the lines of not sharing a relationship but controlling it and commanding it as a birthright -- my take on the conference.) It wasn't the let's-all-help-each-other-man crowd Faludi met in the "encounter" (my word, not hers) groups she attended. (The language at the conference I attended covered all bases but quickly fell to cursing -- cursing at police officers and security guards who were attempting to maintain peaceful exiting from the stadium and safe crossing to the parking lots -- when an unexpected hail storm hit the stadium.) Maybe I caught them on a bad day. But I don't think Faludi can really comment on a sub-group without commenting on the larger group they belong to.
With that section, I felt Faludi missed her premise at the outset. With one or two others, I felt she didn't carry her points far enough.
This was especially true of her examination of the history of Details magazine. I felt we got half the story and that it wasn't connected in the manner that was required or carried far enough. (One aspect ignored was over the controversy generated by the Stephen Dorf and Michael Stipe cover stories. Most readers of the magazine remember the editorial reigns changing hands at this time.)
Some critics have argued Stiffed is a Backlash retread. I would disagree. In fact, had she approached the book as a male study equivalent, I think Stiffed would have been a better book.
It would have given it a firmer structure. Backlash didn't hop from group to group. Chapters dealt with certain subjects: entertainment, fashion, myths, etc.
In an interview while promoting Stiffed, Faludi did a great job analyzing the then recently released film Fight Club. It was exactly comments like those that are missing in the book. Although Fight Club hadn't shown up in the theaters prior to Stiffed's publication there were many other movies she could have analyzed and discussed.
It's been suggested in another review that she's ripping apart what she proposed in Backlash. I feel that's a misreading. Backlash's central thesis is not opposed to the findings in Stiffed. Both books deal with the cultural myths and ideas we're given as opposed to the realities we live.
As for the comments that she's somehow been harsh on males, I disagree completely. She was far more vigorous when exploring women (and men) in Backlash.
I also would argue that Backlash had endnotes worth reading. If you've read Backlash but skipped the endnotes, go back and read them. Some just cite sources but many include additional comments from Faludi. That's not the case with the "endnotes" to Stiffed which, with about fifteen exceptions, are strictly citations.
Maybe Stiffed was the victim of the typical sophomore slump. Or maybe she could hear her detractors as she wrote and attempted to respond to that within the text of this book. Maybe it was an editing decision on the part of publishers. No one really knows but Faludi.
Despite all of that, it's still a book worth reading. It has many sections that dazzle. Hopefully on her next book, Faludi's humor will be more present and she'll examine underlying causes
-- large and small -- more. But that doesn't mean Stiffed is a bad book. Or even just an okay book. It is a notch below Backlash but it's still filled with provocative insights. (And few books ever achieve what Backlash did.) No one can dispute that Faludi can convey the particulars of a meeting -- her eye for key details remains as strong as her insights -- and she remains a writer worth reading.

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1.0 out of 5 stars Terrible
Faludi starts with the best intentions- to find out why modern men feel alienated in America. Then flat out denies that it couldn't have anything to do with the actions of women,... Read more

Published on April 13 2004 by K. MacDonald

5.0 out of 5 stars She's tied it all together
Displaying fascinating and unique case studies, Faludi's Stiffed is a terrific contemporary sociological analysis of what has been happening to the American male over the last... Read more

Published on Jan 11 2003 by Drew Hunkins

4.0 out of 5 stars Adrift in my fifth IT job in six years ...
Adrift in my fifth IT job in six years, I borrowed this book from a female colleague in the marketing department. Read more

Published on July 7 2002 by Twice-lived

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the 10 most important books I've read
Perhaps it took a woman to really tell this story, to look at men's feelings, needs, fears, and articulate them so clearly. Read more

Published on Jun 20 2002 by Robert Olofson

5.0 out of 5 stars Collectively men run the world. Individually, we don't.
I believe there have been some major misconceptions about this book. I have heard it said that for men to complain about being mistreated or disenfranchised, white men no less, is... Read more

Published on April 29 2002 by Andrew Olivo Parodi

3.0 out of 5 stars Men Victimize Other Men As Well As Women
Susan Faludi showed us in ÒBacklashÓ that men, the creators and leaders of our society and culture, have created a world that victimizes women. Read more

Published on Jan 3 2002 by Sugar Bear

1.0 out of 5 stars You'll be STIFFED if you buy this book.
This book is unorganized, unfocused, and pathetic. I can't believe that this author has won a Pulitzer.

Published on Nov 25 2001

3.0 out of 5 stars Where Have All The Young Men Gone?
Perennial award winning writer Susan Falude has written a follow up to Betrayal: The Undeclared War on Women. Read more

Published on Oct 23 2001 by pdquick

3.0 out of 5 stars It's Just Ok
Some interesting insights. She focuses too much on Douglas and the shipyards. I didn't enjoy the patronizing glorification of the black workers, we all had it tough baby. Read more

Published on Oct 20 2001 by Jeff Lotton

5.0 out of 5 stars Informative, Entertaining and Eye-Opening
Faludi may be a feminist but she seems to understands men. She began with the intention of explain what was wrong with men and looked in all the right places; Gangs, Promise... Read more

Published on Oct 3 2001 by T. Sorensen

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