The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks [Paperback]

Jen writes so honestly, straight from the heart. This is, and I wish there was a more eloquent way to put this, a cool book. She does not shy away from the real deal facts of love, sex, exploration... in fact, she doesn't shy away from anything. It's as if you're reading a book from a regular gal who has one freaky sidenote, she does not get embarrassed! Which means you won't get embarrassed. Most of your fears will be allayed and man, once you are done, you will be fully versed on the inner workings of the female body, yours and others, and what turns said body on. Let's just say that can be very helpful.

So, this is the deal, if you've ever thought of switch-hitting or just wanted to know how it actually works, Jen tells you in graphic sapphic detail (delightful illustrations are a plus. I don't know who did them but they're hilarious and cute and informative). She also provides resources that will help you "get it on," even if you're not ready to actually get it on with another person. And if you're a girl and you really do want to just go out there and see what's what with the ladies, there are certain details here that will make you seem like an expert in what up until now might be unchartered territory. It takes away the scary and the stigma by giving you all the answers to your questions and more answers to questions you will be glad you were given, if you actually get a girl to go home with you.

I think what's refreshing is this could have easily been just another sleazoid book or a "Ha ha, look what I got you on your wedding night!" party gift. Instead it's an informative, smart, emotionally evolved, well-designed, entertaining and humorous "how-to" guide.

If only they would have stuff like this in schools, people wouldn't be so messed up about sex and sexual attitudes. This is an important book for our generation. Of course if you just want it for the hot factor, it has that too, but you might find you are as pleasantly surprised as I was, to find such an intelligent perspective regarding sexual experimentation. It's nice to hear someone talk about checking out chicks without then labeling you one way or another. It's simply saying you're a sexual being and if you want to try this, here are the "ins and outs." Jen Sincero and hopefully others like her, are really our generation's sexual pioneers, prooving each decade, we mature a little more no matter how much fanaticism and intolerance is in our midst.

p.s. I had written a previous review of this book and it never appeared. If it magically does, I apologize for the redundancy.

I thoroughly loved the premise of this book, namely telling other "straight" women that it's ok to sleep with ourselves. I thought it was refreshing since, for once, the author wasn't a born lesbian releasing herself from society's repression of a too-tightly clasped underwire bra. She was instead a hetero female - who wanted to remain as such - but was basking resplendently in her new found sexual awakening, so much so that she wanted to share it with others by writing a book.

Some of the author's best revelations come early (in the introduction); that women's bodies are unbelievably soft, and that making love to another woman is very much like making love to one's self. Fortunately, they got better (and fresher). Because women don't deplete themselves during sex, their stamina can be greater - and sex can last all night until daybreak. Also, two women together are freer to trade the dominant role back and forth, something that a woman might not be able to do with her man, not just because of social norms - but because the respective equipment is just too distracting -- and one set may be too difficult to reclassify in a more subservient role. (I'm not sure that I would buy that men can't be subservient, especially with all the S/M out there. But I would agree that taking the dominant role, as a woman, is sometimes easier - with another woman - mainly because her body is so soft and enticing. Nothing a man can offer, for example, is as seductive as a nipple thrusted wantonly into one's eye, or between one's lips. And a woman's genitalia -- even when you're under it - isn't going to be as domineering or as insistent as a man's.)

Her last revelation, of course, is that making love to another woman is exciting - precisely because it is forbidden. (Then again, I still think it would be very enthralling - even it wasn't verboten.)

Much of the rest of the book is devoted to transforming this fantasy into a reality; overcoming guilt and upbringing, learning to masturbate (which is something, of course, men never have to learn from a book), dealing with sexually transmitted diseases (STD's), or using sex toys, to name just a few of the topics she covers. One of her best suggestions is encouraging women to masturbate - to the thought of making love to other women (which, of course, is pretty key). There's some very crude cartoon drawings of two women together. But the most hilarious illustrations are the black & white photos of two Barbie dolls getting it on to demonstrate various postures of oral sex.

There is also, I might mention, a fairly up-to-date list of movies - both mainstream and porn - which feature enticing women-only encounters.

The author gets a lot of her background material by giving women - as many as she can - a survey about their girl/girl love experiences. She finds that the fantasy - and the reality - are both more prevalent than she would've thought possible. She delves into relationships that involve one or more lesbians. And she suggests, as a starting point in one's exploration possibly visiting lesbian bars or putting out want ads. She even discusses having an ongoing full-time relationship with another woman.

But this is all fine and dandy if one is young and single (or just single). This book obviously took on a life all its own - and eventually (at least for a time) consumed all aspects of the author's consciousness. But what about those of us who are married, or have families?

Unfortunately, it still seems as though making love to other girls - is something that women should only do when they're single.

I was hoping, that rather than just teaching straight women that it's ok to make love to other straight women, that the book would've taught us how to manage this second relationship on the side - and how to manage and enjoy it - in a manner that isn't necessarily mutually exclusive with our married self. It would, in parallel, also teach men how to accept - and possibly also enjoy - such relationships partaken by their women. I've managed to accomplish this, to a degree, at some points in my life. But it's still very hard to pull off for most women. Too hard.

I think this book takes one more step in helping us to accept and understand the same-sex innateness that is stronger in us than it is in men. Unfortunately, it leads us to a place that is still in competition with the rest of our lives. Maybe after the author is hitched, she'll provide us with "The Married Gal's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks!"

Now, that would be hot! Wouldn't it?

I have purchased and passed out at least a case of these books, not necessarily for the "girl-on-girl" parts, but for the chapter titled, "The Super-Huge Importance of Sticking Your Hand Down Your Pants." That by itself is a must read for anyone who wants (no - NEEDS) to be put more in touch with their own sexuality, never mind what gender you prefer. (Don't get me wrong - the rest of the book is pretty fantastic too.) I am constantly amazed at how taboo the subject of pleasure in one's own body is, and this book provides an amazing way to convey the message that we, as women, deserve to be our own sexual best friends before expecting someone else to make us happy. Then it shows us how!! This is of course not to say that those of us who revel in our own sexuality on most levels won't find something new and different - I found myself laughing out loud at some of the situations the author placed herself in, and very able to identify! It's also not just about sex-for-sex-sake, or picking up women, or one night stands; there is great information in here for long-term, committed relationships in here too. I may never actually seek out sex with a woman (though I'm not opposed), but don't think the title and alleged gender specificity in any way detracts from the many lessons to be learned from this book. It's about time!! (And it doesn't hurt at all that this chick is damn funny, and can WRITE!)

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