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Straight from Your Gay Best Friend: The Straight-Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having a Fabulous Life Paperback – Oct 1 2010

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Agate Bolden (Oct. 1 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1932841563
  • ISBN-13: 978-1932841565
  • Product Dimensions: 22.9 x 15.2 x 1.3 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 272 g
  • Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,684,333 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description


"Terrance Dean offers more than a voice in the wilderness. He is a light unto the world!" Iyanla Vanzant

About the Author

Terrance Dean is the author of Reclaim Your Power! (Villard, 2003) the Essence bestseller Hiding In Hip Hop (Atria, 2008) and a co-author of Visible Lives (Kensington, 2010). A 2005 John Seigenthaler Journalism Fellow from Vanderbilt University, he also contributed to the anthologies Souls of My Brothers and Always Too Soon. He has written for Essence, VIBE, The New York Sun, and The Advocate, among other publications. He lives in Los Angeles.

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0xa4675588) out of 5 stars 13 reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0xa4d90e70) out of 5 stars 'Look me 'straight' in the eye for the truth Dec 24 2010
By Grady Harp - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
Terrance Dean is a very fine writer who has decided to step out of his role as a creative artist for this venture into the role of a counselor. The result is a book that speaks primarily to women who are 'victimized' by male behavior of all types. Dean offers some very sound advice about relationships, approaches to the career/job, family issues, love, fashion - name a topic and Dean covers it. The gimmick here is that Dean, a very well established African American gay writer, gives the message to women that in order to completely understand MEN, every woman should seek out a gay male friend who has no secondary agenda in giving advice except as a benefit to the advisee.

Dean goes about this process of discussing women's problems with men etc with a great sense of humor, and yet underneath the hilarious repartee is a man wise enough to lead discussion of problems with great understanding, empathy and 'straight talk'. How many female friends will be honest in critiquing the clothes their friends choose? How many straight men will give the honest answers to questions raised by their behavior? In other words, Terrance Dean postulates that the only avenue of secure advice about things sensitive to women will come from a gay best friend. He gives several scenarios of predicaments that may arise or simply occasions all women face in their daily lives and then works through the various approaches and choices possible, pointing out just how to listen and how process and how to ultimately react to assure the best of all possible solutions.

This very readable book is part humor, part psychology, and part about the quality of friendship and trust. The man has some very valid points to make, thoughts that are bound to find a home with every reader of the book. Terrance Dean IS your best gay friend here! Grady Harp, December 10
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0xa450a0b4) out of 5 stars Girl, You Are Doing Too Much Dec 8 2010
By Teresa Beasley - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
I have never laughed so hard while reading a book. I do believe that every woman needs a gay best friend. Straight From Your Gay Best Friend by Terrence Dean is a guidebook for teaching women all they need to know about relationships, careers, and being fabulous. This 19 chapter book has everything a woman needs to know about letting out the diva inside. It also lets women know how to properly guard their hearts and be selective of the company they choose to keep.

The author informs readers on the do's and the don'ts of dressing, having and keeping a man, career choices, and friendships. It also informs readers on what it means to take time for you. This fulfilling book is just what every woman, who has ever doubted herself needs to get back on track.

Straight From Your Gay Best Friend was an engaging book of information, resources, and pure fun facts. The author does a wonderful job explaining issues, problems, and solutions throughout the book. The author also provides cases that will help readers understand the message the book is providing. I enjoyed the worksheets and scenarios, which provided examples of what to look for when approaching relationships. After reading this book, I will definitely get me a gay best friend so that I can stay in the know how. I definitely recommend this book to others.

This book was provided by the publisher for review purposes.
Teresa Beasley
APOOO BookClub
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0xa4a95e40) out of 5 stars The Voice of Reason March 10 2011
By The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition
Do you want the most out of life? Are you or do you know someone looking for a reality check? Terrence Dean delivers an insightful piece of work that would make you want to stop and examine what is going on in your life and force you to make a change. STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND: The Straight-Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having a Fabulous Life is a complete girlfriend guide for all women.

Dean discusses topics ranging from getting yourself together to recognizing most of the signs of a good/bad relationship. After this emotional read, you will indeed be on your way to finding solutions to the most common problems in life that are keeping you from fulfilling endless possibilities. The bottom line is, Terrance reminds you that you come first. He is straight forward, sympathetic, and encouraging in this literary work. After reading this, Dean becomes the voice of reason in your mind when you go through complex situations. Even though the advice he delivers we have heard before, he further helps you to discover the strength inside you never knew you had.

Reviewed by Sheila R. Hudson
for The RAWSISTAZ(tm) Reviewers
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0xa4e87138) out of 5 stars A Must Read! Dec 1 2010
By Steve Taylor - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A must read, whether you are gay or straight, if you are having issues in a relationship or trouble loving and accepting yourself for the wonderful person God made you to be...this book is for you! Terrance's words and insight are already helping open my eyes to make my relationship with myself and my partner healthier, happier, and more at peace! THANK YOU!!!
HASH(0xa473b30c) out of 5 stars Straight from your gay best friend by Terrance Dean Jan. 9 2011
By Elisa - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
The starting point of this "how to do" book on bettering yourself and your life, Straight from your gay best friend: the straight-up truth about relationships, work, and having a fabulous life, is that, your best gay friend will always give you the right advice since he is not interested himself in what you want. Another woman will be jealous, another man, not gay, will probably work for himself more than you, but a gay man? He will be your best friend since he will be an ally and not a competitor (now, this is not considering all the bisexual men out there, but that is probably in line with the author's experience, that basically bisexual is only a phase, or you are straight or you are gay).

Another thing that probably differentiate this book from other similar books is that the author is quite hard with the female readership, he doesn't console them, he tries to shock them out of their self-inducted stupor. Basically he is saying that most of the trouble a woman has in a relationship are due to her own self-esteem issues; if a woman doesn't love herself, she will not be able to find someone else that will love her back.

Point one and point two I quite agree, I probably have more difficulties to agree to point three, since I'm not a religious woman myself; basically the author says that a good relationship with spirituality (doesn't matter what religion, the important thing is that you have a religion) is the first step towards being more aware of yourself and the world around you.

There are a lot of other advices, that basically are well explained by the titles of the different chapters, that are slogan to write down and remember:

1. Get It Together: If It Don't Fit, Don't Force It!
2. Friend or Foe? Recognize Your Frenemies
3. Spirit: Your Number One Relationship
4. Love Yourself: If You Don't, Who Will?
5. Get Some Me Time: Not Some Him and Some Her, Just a Little Me Time
6. Stimulate MENtally and Physically: From Manolos To MOMA
7. Working 9 to 5: Is This a Way to Make a Living?
8. Ambitious: Not Am Bitches
9. Family Dearest: You Can Pick Your Friends, But Not Your Family
10. Forgive: 'Cause You Know Not What You Do
11. Be Still and Wait: Patience Is a Virtue
12. Be Open to Love When It Shows Up: A Closed Heart Doesn't Receive Joy
13. Every Man Is Not Relationship Material: Get Up and Move On!
14. You Get What You Ask For: Recognize the Difference Between a Winner and a Loser
15. Listen: It Will Save You a World of Headaches
16. Date: It's That Thing You Do Before Sex
17. Let Go of Being Right: Don't Make Him Wrong...Right?
18. Money Can Buy Sex, but Not Love: Gigolos Get Lonely, Too
19. Yes, Girl, He Is into You--And Him, Too!

Other than probably taking them in consideration next time I will have to take some important decision, I have to say that I liked this book since I felt that the author was not preaching, that he lived and experimented himself most of the above, from both sides, who was trying to better himself and maybe even from the side of who has to be left behind. Here and there, the personal life of the author, told more in a narration form than a manual, came out, and that part of the book is probably what I liked best, together of course with the moment when the author was writing about someone else woman life and I was thinking this is me.

Easy and fast to read, even if I'm not sure I will be able to follow all of this advice, or maybe, having followed some, knowing that not always the output is positive, nevertheless they are good advice, and that is said from a woman perspective, woman that would like to find a gay best friend like Terrance Dean.