Start reading I Suck at Girls on your Kindle in under a minute. Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here.

Deliver to your Kindle or other device


Try it free

Sample the beginning of this book for free

Deliver to your Kindle or other device

Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for

I Suck at Girls [Kindle Edition]

Justin Halpern
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)

Print List Price: CDN$ 18.99
Kindle Price: CDN$ 11.99 includes free international wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet
You Save: CDN$ 7.00 (37%)
Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers CA
This price was set by the publisher

Free Kindle Reading App Anybody can read Kindle books even without a Kindle device with the FREE Kindle app for smartphones, tablets, and computers.

To get the free app, enter your e-mail address or mobile phone number.


Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle Edition with Audio/Video --  
Kindle Edition, May 15 2012 --  
Hardcover CDN $13.71  
Paperback --  
Audio, CD, Audiobook CDN $13.36  

Product Description

From Amazon

Childhood Photos of Justin Halpern, author of I Suck at Girls

My mom pulled me out of line to take this, by saying "Justy, you're so cute, lemme see your little face."

My little league all-stars jersey. That is the pose of a confident young man.

Senior year of high school. Finally put on some weight. Just starting to get a receding hairline. Well played, God.


“Justin Halpern is brilliant, and his dad is brilliant-er.” (Jimmy Kimmel)

Product Details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 965 KB
  • Print Length: 197 pages
  • Publisher: It Books (May 15 2012)
  • Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers CA
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B006FOI1KG
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #109,683 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?

Customer Reviews

4 star
3 star
2 star
1 star
5.0 out of 5 stars
5.0 out of 5 stars
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious! So true to life! July 11 2012
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
The way Halpern writes is very true to life and brings back memories of your own childhood as you read. His easy-to-read style draws the reader in to each funny scenario. Halpern is as good a storyteller as he is a humorist. There are several laugh-out-loud moments, one where I actually had to lay the book down to get my laughter under control. If you loved his previous release, you will love this one as well. Don't worry, you'll hear more great lines of S### his dad said :D
Was this review helpful to you?
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Another thrilling story from Justy Feb. 17 2013
By Dat Yan
Well written and structured story. Yes, a lot cursing words from the father but it is developed into originality and readable. Definitely recommended to everyone. The ending was pretty cute/ ballsy and that is what most "wussy" men need to learn from this book. I guess we can also classify this book as one of the self personality development book. Can't wait for his third piece to come out.
Was this review helpful to you?
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy Read March 30 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
I'm not one for writing reviews but, I thought this book was hilarious. I actually chuckled out loud a few times. It was an easy read and I couldn't put it down once I got into it!
Was this review helpful to you?
5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny July 1 2014
Format:Kindle Edition with Audio/Video|Verified Purchase
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Justin's gift of story telling made me feel like I was sitting an watching the scenarios unfold
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.3 out of 5 stars  826 reviews
44 of 49 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Guaranteed Laughs May 17 2012
By B. Huntington - Published on
I've actually been reading Halpern's stuff from back in his web days. His gift for humor was pretty evident even if he wasn't stretching narratively. Between this book and ____ My Dad Says it's great to see him expand into more of a story-teller, as it's clear he excels at it.
In I Suck at Girls, Halpern moves the focus from his dad to himself (don't worry, you'll still get to hear his dad's opinions on girls and life in general) and discusses his hits and misses when it comes to women. Halpern has an easy, honest style that's pretty easy to tear through (in fact, if I had one complaint it's that book is a bit short).
Definitely check this one out if you liked ____ My Dad Says, or just find some excerpts online and you'll know pretty quickly whether or not it's for you (it probably will be).
Also be sure to check Halpern out on podcast or in person. He's hilarious off-the-cuff.
19 of 19 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Sophomore slump Sept. 3 2012
By B. Wilfong - Published on
"I Suck at Girls" irritated me some, and I am not all that sure why. The book just did not do all that much for me, and although it is a quick and easy read, I was ready for it to be done. A 180 page book of humor should not make the reader feel that way.
Justin Halpern's tales of romance and sex don't have the ring of truth to them that so many of his stories in his first book, "S*@! My Dad Says", seemed to have. I put the book down wondering just how much of it was made up. I also could not shake my suspicions that Justin is a dope, and I get that this is one of his points. However, I did not feel like he was a dope that you would root for.
The most entertaining and worthwhile parts of the text are the moments where Justin's father takes center stage, and there were far too few of them for me to thoroughly engage in the book. Perhaps this premise has now been stretched too thin for the material that exists and Mr. Halpern needs to try something else. I don't know.
For what it is "I Suck at Girls" is an okay read. I was just expecting more. Halpern's observations about romance, love, bad sex, etc. have nothing new or interesting to say, and I guess I was hoping that they would.
I don't regret reading this book, but I am also glad that it only consumed a couple of hours of my time.
Take that for what you will.
25 of 27 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Justin's Dad: "Any idiot can get lucky once..." May 29 2012
By John Williamson - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Warning: before you pick up Justin Halpern's I Suck at Girls to read for the first time, be sure to set your coffee down. Failure to do so may result in some spilled beverage all over the book pages or your Kindle.

You know, it really hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose...

Without dropping any spoilers, the author dedicates his newest book to Amanda, and it quickly becomes clear in the first chapter that she was his focus. Early on we find that he has decided to propose to her, so he goes to that one particular person who he knows will tell him, direct and to the point, what he thinks: his dad, Sam. Amanda wants to talk to him, and Justin isn't sure what to do. He wants his dad to shoot straight with him, though his father has a frequent habit of going slightly off topic, as found in this sage advice:

"Human beings do dumb s__t. You do dumb s__t. She does dumb s__t. Everyone does dumb s__t. Then, every once in a while, we have a moment where we don't do dumb s__t, and then we throw a goddamned parade and we forget all the dumb s__t we did. So what I'm saying to you is, don't do something, or not do something, to punish someone because you think they did something dumb. Do what you want to do, because it's what you want to do. Also, bring me a grapefruit from the kitchen and some salt and pepper."

First time readers may be jolted with the frequently profane dialogue issued forth by Justin's eloquent father, who has his own way of expressing himself. Readers of Halpern's earlier book, S__t My Dad Says, will not find this surprising in the least. And fans of this earlier work will not be disappointed with Justin's odyssey.

Unsurprisingly, his father doesn't mince words in the least, and this book is a collection of some of those lessons learned in his quest to learn better in his dealings with the females of the species. And some of these are personal reflections, such as this:

"Eventually, though, I came to the conclusion that I was the male equivalent of a Toyota Camry. You know: No one ever says, `I have to have a Toyota Camry.' But most people who spend some time in a Camry start to like it. `It's pretty reliable,' they think. `It doesn't have a lot of problems, and it's not bad to look at. You know what? I'd probably prefer a nicer car. But I can live with a Camry.'"

Like many, this reader first became aware of the frequently expletive-laden comments issued by Justin's expressive father from his Twitter feed a few years ago. The author had been recording his father's voluble gems there, and in a little over a year he had over two million following those irreverent, other hilarious and sometimes thought-provoking words of his father. This of course resulted in his first book, published in 2010, which hit the New York Times Best Seller list for hardcover nonfiction, enduring at #1 for eleven weeks. It stayed on the bestseller list for almost a year.

This book is filled with similar moments to Halpern's first one, and the descriptions of some of his adventures left me laughing openly. Again no spoilers, but look for the chapter in which he describes in finding a stash of hidden adult magazines, grabbing them and being pursued by "two bearded homeless men, each of whom looked like Nick Nolte rendered in beef jerky." That description was enough to get me laughing, but the narrative of what follows with his father is even better, and it did provoke even more open laughter.

His encounter with Sarah, with the accompaniment of a rented copy of "A Few Good Men" is a classic. It's one that many males can reflectively empathize with, and that chapter alone is worth the price of this book.

The language found in both of Halpern's books might be distasteful to some readers, but in this one there's some real heart in the advice that Justin's father offers his son. It may not be the type of obscenities that many of us would interject our own advice to our kids, but this parent can say that upon occasion I thought of some of them.

As his dad says: "Any idiot can get lucky once. Takes a special idiot to get lucky twice."

There is wisdom in that parental admonition, and that's what makes this 5-star read so good. See for yourself - you won't be disappointed.

44 of 53 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Believe Jimmy Kimmel and Amazon reviews, not a jealous young hack from the AP!!! May 23 2012
By Jeremy - Published on
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I was leery about picking this book up after reading a bland review in the paper. After perusing the book at the mall I decided to take the plunge. Jimmy Kimmel is right! The book is hilarious. I've read most of it before bed and find that it's a perfect light read to end the day. If you read Matt Sedensky's article like I did, disregard it. A guy who's busy tweeting "Elephant at National Zoo in DC plays harmonica with its trunk" probably has an axe to grind.
18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Close, but no cigar. Good entertainment, though. June 11 2012
By N. Warren - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I shot through this book in an evening. Despite, a lot of the hype and 5-star reviews, I can't saw I was as excited by this book.

Don't get me wrong, it's not a bad book at all. It's not an out-of-this-world-great book either. I found it a bit short and a bit so-so.

The situations Justin ends up with women is something that most of us (males) can relate to at some-or-other stage in our lives. Cringeworthy, at best. I think that the majority of the humour in the book comes from his Dad. It might make me purchase his first book.

But, if you want a bit of light-hearted and good entertainment for around the price of a movie ticket (I think the book is a bit pricey, though) and a few good giggles along the way, then give this a whirl. It's fun, it's light and it may even bring back a few memories.
Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

Look for similar items by category