Tank Girl Novelisation Tie In [Paperback]

This has enough amusing parts to make it worth a go. At the start, Tank Girl is involved in a card game, and being told off for sleeping with kangaroos, and via one of the players:

" 'Yes,' says Tank Girl, 'when the great comet struck I was only a little girl, can't have been more than four or five. I was precociously intelligent and brave even then, of course, always having adventures and stuff. I remember, I crossed the desert on my tricycle, can't have been more than three or four at the time. My parents were frantic-'

'No doubt in case you were rescued. Deal the cards, Tank Girl.'

Tank Girl's eyes narrow, rather threateningly.

'Do I sense a slight hostility on your part, Trader?'

I don't answer, but, not for the first time, I wish guns weren't banned from Big Mary's during the Annual Wastelands Snap and Drinking Competition (apart from those carried by the bar-staff, of course). Everyone entering Big Mary's has to either leave their gun outside or check it in with the doormen. I have a reasonably modern plasma rifle outside in the Big Trader Truck and am fairly proficient in its use - you don't succeed as a 'seventies antique dealer in the Wastelands without learning how to look after yourself. Many's the time I've been bushwhacked by gangs of ten or more armed robbers intent on stealing my cargo of 'Blake's Seven' and 'Tomorrow People' videos, but they've never got the better of me. I'm no pushover.

'The Trader's no pushover,' as they say in the Wastelands. Although, to be absolutely honest, I'm only no pushover with my plasma rifle in my hand. Unarmed, Tank Girl would tear me apart.

I am on my own here. Tank Girl is accompanied by Jet Girl, Sub Girl and several strong kangaroos. Outside, they have a tank, a submarine and a jet, which made finding a parking space for the Big Trader Truck something of a problem. I guess it would be unwise to offend Tank Girl too much.

It strikes me that, even if I win the contest, it may not be easy to make a clean getaway with the prize money. Tank Girl is not the sort of person to honour agreements. "

There is more of that to come in the book, too, as Tank Girl goes adventuring, aided by the odd kangaroo and opposed by a crazy supervillain.