The Adoption Reunion Survival Guide: Preparing Yourself for the Search, Reunion, and Beyond [Paperback]

I was adopted as an infant (5 months), and at age 47 began a search for my birth parents. I was surprised at how easy it was, and how quickly I located my birth mother's name and her whereabouts, as well as finding out about her two additional children. I had been advised by a woman who had guided others in making initial contact. I followed her advice but never got a response. After reading this book, I discovered I probably should have handled a couple things differently. The authors of Survival Guide have good advice on making initial contact, and include examples of letters and commication tips, as well as testimonials from others as to what worked and what didn't. This was helpful.

However, you have to wade through a great deal of the authors' presumptive characterizations of adopted people to glean the advice and guidance that the title of this book suggests. That is, the authors spent a good bit of time doing such inconsequential things as attempting to generalize what drives adoptees to seek out their birth parents. They tend to characterize adoptees as people with a lack of something or a missing piece in their life's puzzle - people with a yearning of which they may not be aware or of which they are in denial (!!). Personally, I never felt any lack of anything as a result of being adopted, emotional or otherwise. I'd just like to know who gave me my genes, what my parents look like now so I know what to expect, and whether I can look forward to any physiological challenges, such as predisposition to conditions or diseases. It would have suited my needs better if the authors had kept more focus on the title of this book, and dropped the quasi-analytical "who are we adoptees and why are we doing this" business.

Having said all that, however, I found the book helpful.