We have only to look to the headlines to understand that this is a recipe for tragedy. Some bullying victims, their cries unheard, have fought back with violence that has devastated entire communities; others have committed suicide; many more suffer in silence, their lives a constant round of emotional and physical pain. In The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander, Barbara Coloroso gives parents, caregivers, educators—and most of all, kids—the tools to break the cycle of violence. Drawing on her decades of work with troubled youth, and her wide experience in the areas of conflict resolution and reconciliatory justice, Coloroso offers a compassionate and practical guide that is destined to become a groundbreaking reference on the subject of bullying.
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Book Description
It’s the deadliest combination going: Bullies who get what want from their target, bullied kids who are afraid to tell, bystanders who either watch, participate, or look away, and adults who see the incidents as simply “teasing” and a normal part of childhood.
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About the Author
Barbara Coloroso is an internationally recognized speaker and author in areas of parenting, teaching, school discipline, non-violent conflict resolution, reconciliatory justice and grieving. She has spoken to audiences across the country. Her bestsellers include Kids are worth it! Giving Your Child theGift of Inner Discipline and Parenting Through Crisis: Helping Kids in Times of Loss, Grief and Change. Barbara Coloroso lives in Colorado. You can visit the author’s Web site at:kidsareworthit.com
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Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By Stephen Pletko
TOP 50 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback
XXXXX
"A child who plays `the bully' dresses, speaks, and acts the part, as do `the bullied' and `the bystander.' It is the posturing, the words, the actions, and the consequences of these elements combined that is the concern of this book."
The above extract comes from the beginning of this extremely informative book by Barbara Coloroso. Coloroso, a former teacher, is an internationally recognized speaker, and author in the areas of parenting, teaching, school discipline, non-violent conflict resolution, reconciliatory justice, and grieving.
Besides telling the reader everything about the bully, the bullied, and the bystanders who observe the bullying, there are insights from selected others (psychologists, etc.) also included.
What makes this book especially powerful are the true stories of those children who "made a tragic and final exit" due to bullying. As Coloroso tells us:
"The common thread in all of these accounts is that these children are bullied relentlessly and, in most cases, the bullying went on without substantial objections, indignation, adequate intervention, or outrage."
Finally, to get the message of this book across effectively and to make it easy to access information, the author includes many lists. I found these most helpful.
In conclusion, this book, in my opinion, is the definitive guide to this problem. I leave you with some of the author's final words:
"The bully, the bullied, and the bystander--I hope you now have a clearer understanding of these roles and how the interactions involved in such role-playing, though common-place in our culture, are not healthy, not normal, certainly not necessary, and in fact are devastating to the children playing them.
We as parents and educators can rewrite the script and create for our children alternative, healthier roles that require no [pretension] and no violence. With care and commitment, we can [divert] the behaviours of the bully into positive leadership activities; acknowledge the non-aggressive behaviours of the bullied child as strengths that can be developed and are honoured; and transform the role of the bystander into that of a witness, someone willing to stand up, speak out, and act against injustice."
(first published 2002; acknowledgements; introduction; 9 chapters; main narrative 205 pages; sources; index)
<<Stephen Pletko, London, Ontario, Canada>>
XXXXX
"A child who plays `the bully' dresses, speaks, and acts the part, as do `the bullied' and `the bystander.' It is the posturing, the words, the actions, and the consequences of these elements combined that is the concern of this book."
The above extract comes from the beginning of this extremely informative book by Barbara Coloroso. Coloroso, a former teacher, is an internationally recognized speaker, and author in the areas of parenting, teaching, school discipline, non-violent conflict resolution, reconciliatory justice, and grieving.
Besides telling the reader everything about the bully, the bullied, and the bystanders who observe the bullying, there are insights from selected others (psychologists, etc.) also included.
What makes this book especially powerful are the true stories of those children who "made a tragic and final exit" due to bullying. As Coloroso tells us:
"The common thread in all of these accounts is that these children are bullied relentlessly and, in most cases, the bullying went on without substantial objections, indignation, adequate intervention, or outrage."
Finally, to get the message of this book across effectively and to make it easy to access information, the author includes many lists. I found these most helpful.
In conclusion, this book, in my opinion, is the definitive guide to this problem. I leave you with some of the author's final words:
"The bully, the bullied, and the bystander--I hope you now have a clearer understanding of these roles and how the interactions involved in such role-playing, though common-place in our culture, are not healthy, not normal, certainly not necessary, and in fact are devastating to the children playing them.
We as parents and educators can rewrite the script and create for our children alternative, healthier roles that require no [pretension] and no violence. With care and commitment, we can [divert] the behaviours of the bully into positive leadership activities; acknowledge the non-aggressive behaviours of the bullied child as strengths that can be developed and are honoured; and transform the role of the bystander into that of a witness, someone willing to stand up, speak out, and act against injustice."
(first published 2002; acknowledgements; introduction; 9 chapters; main narrative 205 pages; sources; index)
<<Stephen Pletko, London, Ontario, Canada>>
XXXXX
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
By N. Lush
Format:Paperback
This book provides a different outlook on bullying from who can be held responsible to an effective way to serve justice. This book is good for anyone who works with children or adolescents.
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book for parents & and anybody else working with kids and teens
Feb 22 2009
Format:Paperback
I had the pleasure of not only meeting Barbara but watching her speak a few weeks ago. I was blown away by her presentation, ideas and solutions to the bullying epidemic. I work with teens-girls mostly-and the info in this book is invaluable to anybody working with kids or teens today. Bullying is a bigger issue than most of us would like to believe, but this book will open your eyes and show you what you can do make a difference whether at home or at school.
Kate Whitfield, author of The Empowered Gal's 9 Life Lessons: Keys, Tips, Strategies, Advice & Everything You Need to Know to Be a Confident, Successful, in Control Gal
Kate Whitfield, author of The Empowered Gal's 9 Life Lessons: Keys, Tips, Strategies, Advice & Everything You Need to Know to Be a Confident, Successful, in Control Gal
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