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The Burglar Diaries [Paperback]

Danny King
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
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Book Description

April 1 2002

Bristling with razor-sharp wit, this is the first-person account of petty thief Bex, who, along with his partner-in-crime Ollie, just about gets by on the money he makes house-breaking the suburbs of London. Bex and Ollie stick together, have a laugh and on a good week make enough money to stay in the pub all weekend.The Burglar Diariesis a hilarious insight into the mind of a petty criminal.

In the late 1980s, after being convicted of various offences, including burglary,Danny Kinggave up crime, got an education and started to work as a journalist. He lives in London.

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From Amazon

A house burglar's memoirs might well be pushing the boundaries of public taste and common decency but make no mistake, The Burglar Diaries is truly a work of comic genius. Look beyond the coarse language and outrageous designs on life and you've got a real diamond of a novel just ripe for the taking.

Danny King writes like a foul-mouthed jack the lad who also happens to possess irresistible storytelling skills and a wicked sense of humour. Bex, the chief protagonist, has long given up on the idea of a straight office job and is content to get by on dodgy dealings and botched jobs, but occasionally he does give in to the odd scruple. For example, despite the encouragement of his hapless mate Ollie, our narrator refuses to extract money from a kiddie's piggy bank and passes up the opportunity to cash in on a wedding ring belonging to a recently deceased old lady. He further redeems himself when, naturally in the line of "duty", he exposes firstly some neglectful parents and later an evil paedophile ring--exploits that earn him a hero's mention in the local 'paper. That said, this is far from a tale of robbing the rich to feed the poor and while Bex is a hugely entertaining creation, his chosen profession will not endear him to every reader.

King's first book is a devilishly funny insight into the mind of a petty criminal with hilarity at every turn. The Burglar Diaries, a remarkable debut from a man with a bright future on the "outside", looks set to ignite a cracking series. --David Thwaites

About the Author

Danny King was born in Slough, near London in 1969. After leaving school, he went to work on a building site where he met his fair share of petty criminals and general nutters. In the late 1980s, following convictions of various offences, including burglary, he gave up crime, got an education and started to work as a journalist on top shelf magazines. He lives in South London.

Customer Reviews

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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars The funniest book June 26 2003
I read this book for light summer reading but I ended up not being able to put it down, its so funny and full of clever british wit that I was laughing out loud so much that my housemate thought that I had someone in the room with me.
Its not necessarily a book for people who dont like bad language but it just ads to the realism of the chapters.
i definetly think you should read this book!
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.1 out of 5 stars  10 reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Terrific Fun Sept. 28 2014
By nigel p bird - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition
If you are of a certain age, you might well remember the head-to-head comedy conversations between Griff Rhys Jones and Mel Smith or the two Ronnies. They’d talk earnestly about something, dive off in tangents, bewilder each other and provide the watcher with a huge amount of entertainment in the process.

There’s something about the central characters in The Burglar Diaries (Bez and Ollie) that reminded me of those comedy encounters. Maybe it’s the quality of the writing and the brilliance of the humour that I felt they had in common.
Bez and Ollie are a team. We get to follow them through a series of crimes that are never short of interesting events in themselves.

It’s a collection of musings and action that come together as a well-knitted collection of short stories yet also have something of the driving narrative of a novel. There a thoughts on the criminal code, the planning of a burglary, fencing stolen goods, holding down relationships when you’re a crook, famous rip-offs, popular culture and shades of philosophy.

This was a genuine laugh-out-loud book for me and those laughs were spread all the way through the work. There’s great observational and situational humour here and I’d urge you to try it for yourself.
Smashing stuff.
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great British Humour June 10 2005
By T. MCCANN - Published on
I've read all of Danny King's 'diaries' series and enjoyed them all, but the Burglar Diaries is the best in my opinion. This is British humour at its best. It does contain swearwords but they are in context i.e. real burglars would talk like that. If you enjoy British humour or Guy Ritchie's films ('Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels' and 'Snatch') then you will definitely enjoy this book.

This is one of the few books that has had me snorting with laughter while on a train, to odd looks from the other passengers. I couldn't help it. King's writing is inventive and extremely funny; the ideas and observations flow thick and fast - never a dull moment as they say.

A great book to take on a journey.
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent April 22 2014
By Alan T. Stapleton - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition
The author never disappoints - always funny and a compulsive read - highly recommended -you will not be disappointed with this!
4.0 out of 5 stars Foul mouthed, irreverent and authentic Dec 26 2013
By M. R. Hamilton - Published on
Bex and Ollie spend their evenings in their dreary South-Eastern town either boozing or burgling. Narrator Bex takes his clandestine activities very seriously, and considers his thieving a trade, with skills to be honed and a moral code to be observed. His unflinching observations of every character, including himself, are perfectly pitched and blackly hilarious.

There's little happiness in Bex's life and even less glory or success, but he's honest about his failings and his prospects and it's this, along with his redemptive qualities and self-deprecating humour which King combines so well.
3.0 out of 5 stars The burglar diaries Dec 24 2013
By MavisE - Published on
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Amusing stories from a burglar. I thought it got a little long, I liked henchmens book club better. Even though I only gave it 3 stars, i plan on reading more from Mr. King.
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