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The Dance Of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships [Paperback]

Harriet Lerner
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (57 customer reviews)
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Book Description

April 21 2005
The 20th Anniversary Edition of the renowned classic and New York Times bestseller

Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deservesour respect and attention. We all have a right to everythingwe feel -- and certainly our anger is no exception.

For two decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

Frequently Bought Together

The Dance Of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships + The Dance Of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate + The Dance of Intimacy
Price For All Three: CDN$ 41.15

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Product Description


“Of all the books that have been written about the personal relationships of women and what to do about them, this is the most sound. Like a family heirloom, it can be passed from generation to generation as it is based on profound and lasting truths.” (Peggy Papp, M.S.W., The Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy)

About the Author

Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.

Inside This Book (Learn More)
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is changing my life March 10 2004
By A Customer
I had already read "The Anger Habit," and I thought that book changed my life completely. I might have stopped there, having learned so much and been so much more at peace. I'm glad I didn't. "The Dance of Anger" is along completely different lines, but it still has taught me invaluable lessons. Mostly, I am learning what is my responsibility and what is not. I think I had things completely backward, as so many of us do. My whole attitude and perspective have changed. My husband is impressed with the changes in me and says he will read this book after he finishes "The Anger Habit." I consider this book a gift in my life, and I highly recommend it to anyone.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Anger the emotion misunderstood March 3 2013
By jan
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
It is wonderfully written with identifiable cases,clear,concise wording that brings insight as to where our anger originates and how we can take responsibility for it and take action to deal with it.I t is wonderful because it provides insight into all relationships regardless of the level of intimacy,ranging from,parent,sibling to spouse.Anyone wantin to change their interactions an relationships with people they love would benefit from reading this book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing Oct. 2 2012
By Mell
This book has encouraged me to analyze every relationship in my life. As a result I am more accountable for my own happiness. It isn't easy but it's better.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent resource Oct. 24 2013
By Brenda
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This book is clear and well written. I have many of dr. Lerners books and they are all wonderful information.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Must read!! May 26 2013
By Darlene
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Read this book many years ago and it was extremely helpful at the time. Re-reading it was well worth it and I was surprised how much I remembered. I had slipped back into some very self destructive patterns so the refresher was over due!!
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5.0 out of 5 stars Highest recommendation June 26 2003
Wow, I can't believe what an eye-opener this was, and I've recommended it to maybe 20 friends. Dance of Anger provides a clear explanation of many of the situations in which women find themselves feeling angry and not quite knowing why or how or who or most of all, what to do about it. Bottom line is, it is only by changing yourself within a relationship that you can hope to motivate (or just make it possible for) others to change and grow. Women are conditioned to stifle their anger or deny it, and this only leads to reactions in other areas that compound the situation. "Anger deserves recognition."
It's definitely not a quick fix, but it just may lead to long term solutions for the things that mightily bug us in our daily relationships with spouses, parents, children, co-workers, bosses, etc., etc., etc.
Read it and give another copy to a friend - or enemy!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars If you are ready for change, read this book. March 2 1998
By A Customer
My therapist recommended this book and it has helped me immensely. As someone who was reluctant to engage in therapy or read self-help books, I was very surprised by what Harriet Lerner's book had to offer. Lerner explains that relationships are often stuck in patterns or "dances" and that these patterns repeat themselves again and again in times of anger. Lerner shows you how you can recognize and change your own patterns. Such changes lead to a greater understanding of self and healthier relationships. This book can really help you to see things in a new light.
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4.0 out of 5 stars The Dance of Anger July 3 2011
By LegoFan
Although the book is a bit dated, human emotions remain more or less the same through the decades. The reasons why we react to situations with anger are made clearer in this book, which in turn makes it easier to recognise our anger and thereby learn to alter any negative outcome as a result. Certainly worth a read (or two).
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars one of the best books i've ever read - top notch!
one of the best books ive ever read. stop tying yourself in knots over someone else's behavior and its impact on your life, and start making your own positive choices. Read more
Published on Feb. 20 2011 by shelley
5.0 out of 5 stars Women and Anger
Incredibly well put together. This is not a manual, it is a book of others experiences. Some of the individulas I could relate to, but others not. Read more
Published on Aug. 29 2010 by J Dziuda
5.0 out of 5 stars Patterns is the key word
This book is wonderful. It would be helpful to anyone - men and women alike when have just about any type of relationship problem. Read more
Published on July 5 2004
3.0 out of 5 stars A WORD OF CAUTION
I challenge anyone to say "I have never done that before". We all do these "dances" she speaks of all the time, I don't care if you are a woman or a man. Read more
Published on June 9 2004
5.0 out of 5 stars Changed my life
This book had a significant impact on who I am today: a more self confident person who understands that the only person truly in control of my life is: ME! Read more
Published on May 26 2004
5.0 out of 5 stars A Classic!
The Dance of Anger is a classic in the field. It will help you understand your anger and change your behavior. Read more
Published on Jan. 10 2004 by Lisa C Tener,
5.0 out of 5 stars sitting out the dance
This book was recommended to me by my therapist, who claimed it was an excellent book for helping women learn to deal with some of life's difficult situations. And it delivers! Read more
Published on Oct. 21 2003
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