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The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome [Paperback]

Harriet Braiker
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
List Price: CDN$ 19.95
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Book Description

March 6 2002

What's wrong with being a "people pleaser?" Plenty!

"A fascinating book... If you struggle with where, when, and how to draw the line between your own desires and the demands of others, buy this book!"­­Kay Redfield Jamison, bestselling author of An Unquiet Mind and Night Falls Fast

People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage.

Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent "Oprah" guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.

Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle - involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior - will cause a dramatic, positive and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.

As a recovered peoplepleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.


Frequently Bought Together

The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome + Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life + Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes
Price For All Three: CDN$ 41.79


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Product Details


Product Description

From the Publisher

 New York Times Advice Bestseller; Hardcover edition sold over 25,000 copies  Hardcover was excerpted in Working Woman and was author was featured on The Today Show  Oprah Winfrey continues to speak about the need to cure her “disease to please.”  Case study illustrations from Braiker’s extensive clinical experience working with both men and women who suffer from various aspects of the Disease to Please.  The book will also include a People Pleaser Quiz to help readers identify their people pleaser tendencies.

From the Back Cover

What's wrong with being a "people pleaser?" Plenty!

"A fascinating book... If you struggle with where, when, and how to draw the line between your own desires and the demands of others, buy this book!"­­Kay Redfield Jamison, bestselling author of An Unquiet Mind and Night Falls Fast

People pleasers are not just nice people who go overboard trying to make everyone happy. Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage.

Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent "Oprah" guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.

Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle - involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior - will cause a dramatic, positive and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.

As a recovered peoplepleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.


Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
If you are like most people-pleasers, you probably already know the answer to this question. Read the first page
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Concordance
Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt
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Customer Reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
4.1 out of 5 stars
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A+ for Harriet Braiker Aug. 7 2002
Format:Hardcover
I have recommended this book to so many people. I only hope that whoever reads it will follow the message.
This is an important book. I think it is a critical read for anyone who has been abused, used or taken advantage of. It is important for the individual to understand why and how they got to be in the position and how they aquired the "Disease to Please".
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4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful! Oct. 17 2001
Format:Hardcover
Why do some people try so hard to please others that end up pleasing no one - including themselves? Harriet B. Braiker anchors this phenomenon in early childhood problems, such as guilt or low self-esteem, and shows how it harms adult relationships, including those at work. Although she emphasizes interpersonal relationships off the job, executives, managers and employees at all levels will still find her book helpful in life and in work. Braiker describes three primary manifestations (compulsive behavior, distorted thinking, and avoidance of negative feelings) of being a people-pleaser, and notes that this problem can stem from a personal mind-set, a habit or an intense aversion to conflict. Most helpfully, she explains strategies for more productive behavior. Sometimes the explanations and self-help quizzes become repetitive, but her examples keep the book's pace flowing. Thus we [...] recommend this book as - dare we say it? - a real crowd pleaser.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Practical and valuable May 13 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Braiker offers practical ideas for getting in touch with the disease to please (a vital first step!). I appreciate knowing there are others who struggle with this malady--that alone helps.
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1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars THE DISEASE TO PLEASE Feb. 3 2001
Format:Hardcover
This book is one of the most important and helpful self help books which I have ever read. I felt as if it were written directly with me in mind. The author has been a practicing clinical psychologist for 25 years and gives examples through her patients' history's of problems and how they have been helped. In addition to that, she gives very specific ways that you, the reader, can apply these principles to your daily life. You might think that women have this problem more than men but that is not necessarily true. My husband is now reading this book and my grown children are also. You find that it helps you to understand not only yourself better but others as well. She writes in an easy to understand way. This is a book where you find yourself reading every word. There is nothing here which is not relevant or to the point. It has become, for me, a kind of textbook which I refer back to. In fact, she encourages the reader to read with a highlighter and to use the book as you would a textbook. I recommend this book to everyone except those who already feel that they know everything.
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