The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children: Amazon.ca: Robert Shaw, Stephanie Wood: Books

Product Description

Review

“Provocative.” (Parade )

Book Description

Take a good look around you: You can't go into stores or restaurants without seeing joyless children screaming, sulking, resisting their parents, or pulling things off shelves. Parents, in turn, nag, complain, and often try desperately to ignore their unruly, surly offspring.

In today's world, both parents and children are suffering all around us. But it takes a catastrophic event like the tragedy at Columbine High School -- or one of any number of other frightening examples that make headlines weekly -- to get us to acknowledge that something terrible is happening to our children. We have lost touch with what they need from us to grow and thrive, and in the process we've created enormous numbers of children who are disaffected, alienated, amoral, emotionally stunted, and even violent. In The Epidemic, esteemed child and family psychiatrist Robert Shaw brings to bear a lifetime of firsthand experience with and knowledge of this plague, which has become so much the norm that we often don't even recognize its warning signs.

This bold and timely book tells you how to save your child and yourself from this epidemic, but its suggestions will not be the ones that today's parents are used to hearing. While the media is far from innocent, the bulk of the blame lies with the faddish, both neglectful and overindulgent, child-rearing practices that experts have promoted for the past three decades. "These children are not an aberration. They are the natural outcome of the way we have been raising them," Shaw notes. But there is hope, and Shaw's commonsenseapproach cuts to the core of the problem and shows us the cure, covering such important and controversial issues as:

The myths and realities of bonding and attachment
How to recognize when nonparental care is working -- and when it isn't
Milestones in your child's moral and ethical development
The difference between self-centeredness and self-esteem
Why you must stop the media from mugging your child
Strategies for bringing children back from the edge

The Epidemic is not just a "how-to" book, it is a "what is necessary" book -- a call for parents to take responsibility for their children and give them what they truly need in order to grow, thrive, and love.

See all Product Description

Inside This Book (Learn More)

First Sentence
WE ARE IN CRISIS. Read the first page

Explore More
Concordance

Browse Sample Pages
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover

Tag this product

(What's this?)

Think of a tag as a keyword or label you consider is strongly related to this product.
Tags will help all customers organize and find favorite items.

Customer Reviews

19 Reviews

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

Average Customer Review

4.6 out of 5 stars (19 customer reviews)

Share your thoughts with other customers:

Create your own review

Most helpful customer reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars The sky is falling! The sky is falling!, Jan 31 2004

By

Alice Fielding "kangarunitarian" (Norman, OK USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)

This review is from: The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children (Hardcover)

I'll begin with what I like about this book: The chapter called "The Truth and Consequences of Child Care" is a well done illustration of the rock and the hard place parents are driven to today in order to provide for their children while they are very young.

The rest of the book is a suave combination of good advice, observations that should be obvious to anyone, and Chicken Little. Shaw is right that parents who buy their children everything instead of spending time with them are probably going to raise jerks. My guess, though, is that any parent who cares enough to pick up a book about parenting is probably smart enough to figure this out already. Shaw is not right that we are all going to hell in a handbasket. Just look at the title of this book: Epidemic, rot, permissive, plague, joyless, selfish. He's just trying to make money from making people think the world is worse than it actually is.

The biggest problem I have with this book is that Shaw seems to think there is only one acceptable parenting style. No baby should be fed at night beyond six months of age? All two-and-a-half-year-olds should be completely potty trained? Forcing your baby to sleep in a crib when both you and the baby would rather sleep together is necessary? I've got news for Shaw: There's more than one way to raise a kid, and implying that a child is going to be a sociopath just because he's still nursing all night at 18 months (or isn't potty trained at 3, or has a parent who adds "okay?" to the end of sentences, or...) is ridiculous.

There is more than one way to raise a happy, healthy, well-behaved child. I'm sure the methods Shaw suggests work for some folks, but all children are different and all parents are different and all families are different.

Take the good stuff away from this book, and take the rest of it with a can of salt. The sky is not falling.

Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

Report abuse

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Nothing ever changes, Sep 30 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children (Hardcover)

I still recall reading a translation of a Latin text from Rome (around 100AD) bemoaning the sorry state of youth and how kids just don't listen anymore.

Here is a hint: kids have never listened, and never will. At best (with enough threats) they just might be quiet about it.

Knowing that the author is clueless about the long history of behavior variations in children, I read the book anyway. Actually it is not bad. Yes it lacks context (for example the author bemoans youth violence in large cities even though is nothing compared to the 19th Century). However the author is essentially correct in that if you are not around to raise your kid and if you give them material things to make up for your lack of presence your kid will most likely be a twerp. He is also correct in that if your kid is over 15 right now probably smoking dope (that they buy from other kids in their church youth group). Just go look in his closet to see where they are hiding it.

Just don't freak out and decide kids have suddenly all become monsters, because in all likelihood you were a monster.

Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

Report abuse

5.0 out of 5 stars Disagree with secularkangaroo, May 19 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: The Epidemic: The Rot of American Culture, Absentee and Permissive Parenting, and the Resultant Plague of Joyless, Selfish Children (Hardcover)

I have read Dr. Shaw's wise, wonderful book and wish everyone I know with kids would read it. I have friends whose lives and households are absolutely dominated by their infants or toddlers - who can't eat, shower, wash dishes, have a quiet evening with their spouses or do anything normal because they are so obsessed with gratifying every want expressed by their small children. We need a return to common sense and Dr. Shaw is just reminding us that we have the power to make childrearing an enjoyable and rewarding experience for everyone involved. Let's stop raising brats!!!
Thank you Dr. Shaw!!!

Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

Report abuse

Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review

› See all 19 customer reviews on Amazon.ca

Want to see more reviews on this item?

› Go to Amazon.com to see all 38 reviews 4.3 out of 5 stars

Most recent customer reviews

5.0 out of 5 stars Disagree with previous reviewer
he says that Shaw thinks that there is only one acceptable parenting style but this is clearly not what he is saying:

page 50: There is no reason to believe that any adviser... Read more

Published on April 25 2004

5.0 out of 5 stars A Hands-On Guide for Parents
Although the book opens with a discussion of tragedy of the school shooting at Columbine High School, the purpose of The Epidemic is not to pinpoint an immediate or public causes... Read more