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Flexibility and tolerance are learned skills, as any parent knows if they've seen an irascible 2-year-old grow into a pleasant, thoughtful, and considerate older child. Unfortunately, for reasons that are poorly understood, a few children don't "get" this part of socialization. Years after toddler tantrums should have become an unpleasant memory, a few unlucky parents find themselves battling with sudden, inexplicable, disturbingly violent rages--along with crushing guilt about what they "did wrong." Medical experts haven't helped much: the flurry of acronyms and labels (Tourette's, ADHD, ADD, etc.) seems to proffer new discoveries about the causes of such explosions, when in fact the only new development is alternative vocabulary to describe the effects. Ross Greene, a pediatric psychologist who also teaches at Harvard Medical School, makes a bold and humane attempt in this book to cut through the blather and speak directly to the (usually desperate) parents of explosive children. His text is long and serious, and has the advantage of covering an enormous amount of ground with nuance, detail, and sympathy, but also perhaps the disadvantage that only those parents who are not chronically tired and time-deprived are likely to get through the entire book. Quoted dialogue from actual sessions with parents and children is interspersed with analysis that is always oriented toward understanding the origins of "meltdowns" and developing workable strategies for avoidance. Although pharmacological treatment is not the book's focus, there is a chapter on drug therapies. --Richard Farr
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Review
"All parents should read this book, especially those with children who are out of control. Ross Greene presents a loving, rational, and research-based approach to dealing with problems that most parents have either felt were their own fault or were unsolvable. I could not recommend this book more highly."-- Edward Hallowell, M.D.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Most helpful customer reviews
11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!,
By A Customer
This review is from: The Explosive Child (Paperback)
This book is a must read for almost ANY parent and certainly for parents of difficult, challenging kids. It has helped me understand why our son has "meltdowns" and how to deal with them without making them worse. The book has helped me feel less self-blame for my son's outbursts and thereby less anger at him - and has given me real tools for helping him to understand himself. I have purchased many copies to give to our close friends and family, and have recommended it to my own patients (I am a psychotherapist myself), to help them with their kids and even their relatives' kids.The book focuses first of all on really explaining the various neurological and psychological processes that cause certain kids to become overwhelmed and to act in ways that are controlling, resistant, demanding and out of control. It applies to a variety of diagnosible and non-diagnosed situations, including but not limited to: ADHD, Sensory Integration Dysfunction, Tourette's, BiPolar Disorder, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. By understanding the behavior in terms that are clear and non-technical, at the same time scientifically sound, parents are allowed to feel compassion for their kids struggles instead of frustration and blame. Greene then offers some very clear approaches for determining which behavior to be strict about, which to ignore completely and which to begin working on with your child. He then offers specific ways to work on these behaviors. The book is full of clinical examples in which I'm sure everyone will recognize themselves or their situation in at least one if not more. I just can't say enough about what a great book this is and how grateful I am to have had it recommended to me.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
This book saved our family,
By Lori (Vermont) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Explosive Child (Paperback)
Finally somebody who understands what we live with. After several years of professionals suggesting that we just needed another parenting class, we were ready to fall apart. "The Explosive Child" acknowledges that children like mine exist and that we have to understand why they are the way they are and how we can start to bring some sanity to our lives. For desperate parents, this book is like oxygen. It provides a great template for dealing with explosive children on a day to day basis. Dr. Greene's book gave me the courage to stop accepting answers that clearly weren't in our daughter's best interest. This gave me the understanding of how to start advocating for my child. If you find yourself thinking that 'something just isn't right with my child' and 'how can I live with this behavior forever' and 'we need help because nobody understands what we live with', then this book belongs in your hands today. I am not exagerating when I say this book saved our family. We actually have hope that we can raise our child to be a happy and self-sufficient person instead of ending up dead or in jail.
5.0 out of 5 stars
A great resource and source of confidence!,
By
This review is from: The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children (Paperback)
This book is a great resource and source of new found confidence! As an occupational therapist, I have to be extremely adaptable and read my child clients very effectively. I often work with chronically inflexible and easily frustrated children and my approach to this behaviour is often inconsistent. However, with Dr. Greene's book, I now feel better prepared to work with these children while maintaining a handle on my professionalism and confidence as a fly-by participant in these children's lives.I also think every parent should read this book. Not only for those parents who have an inflexible child, but also those who don't. It's fresh spin on parenting and may increase the flexibility of our already flexible children. It also fosters independence and choice, which is often taken away from some of our strictly parented children. GREAT BOOK!
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