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The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World [Paperback]

Marti Olsen Laney Psy.D.
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
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Book Description

Feb. 1 2002
At least one out of four people prefers to avoid the limelight, tends to listen more than they speak, feels alone in large groups, and requires lots of private time to restore their energy. They're introverts, and here is the book to help them boost their confidence while learning strategies for successfully living in an extrovert world.

After dispelling common myths about introverts-they're not necessarily shy, aloof, or antisocial--The Introvert Advantage explains the real issues. Introverts are hardwired from birth to focus inward, so outside stimulation-chitchat, phone calls, parties, office meetings-can easily become "too much."

The Introvert Advantage dispels introverts' belief that something is wrong with them and instead helps them recognize their inner strengths-their analytical skills, ability to think outside the box, and strong powers of concentration. It helps readers understand introversion and shows them how to determine where they fall on the introvert/extrovert continuum. It provides tools to improve relationships with partners, kids, colleagues, and friends, offering dozens of tips, including 10 ways to talk less and communicate more, 8 ways to showcase your abilities at work, how to take a child's temperament temperature, and strategies for socializing. Finally, it shows how to not just survive, but thrive-how to take advantage of the introvert's special qualities to create a life that's just right for the introvert temperament, to discover new ways to expand their energy reserves, and even how, when necessary, to confidently become a temporary extrovert.

Frequently Bought Together

The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World + Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking + The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World
Price For All Three: CDN$ 35.31

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Product Details

Product Description


“Tamara Marston’s narration makes the material relatable and informative. . . . [She] is able to identify with her audience, making her reading all the more effective and intimate. The result is a helpful, enlightening, and entertaining listen.”
      —Publishers Weekly

--This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

About the Author

Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D., is a researcher, educator, author, and psychotherapist. One of America’s foremost authorities on introversion, she speaks and leads workshops on the topic in the United States and Canada. She and her extroverted husband have two grown daughters and four grandchildren. They live in Portland, Oregon.

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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
20 of 20 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Quiet Reflection on a Noisy Planet Sept. 4 2003
"Introverts are like a rechargeable battery. They need to stop expending energy and rest in order to recharge. Extroverts are like solar panels that need the sun to recharge. Extroverts need to be out and about to refuel." ~Marti Olsen Laney
Imagine feeling alone in a crowd, preferring a quiet corner to the limelight and feeling overwhelmed by phones, parties and office meetings. Do people often think you are shy, aloof or antisocial? If you are an introvert, you are going to completely relate to a variety of comments that are like fireworks going off in recognition of truth. Introverts can hide their talents and only show them in certain situations.
Through reading this wonderful and often humorous book, you will be assured that nothing is wrong with you. In fact, there is a connection between Introversion and Intelligence.
What is fascinating is how Marti Olsen Laney explains how introverts create energy in the opposite way extroverts do. I'm often drained of all energy after being with people for extended periods of time, but being with a book can set me on fire with creativity and energy. I can handle small groups and connecting with familiar faces can actually energize me, but after three hours, I want to find a more peaceful setting.
This book helped me understand why I have deeper thoughts when I'm by myself than in a group setting. People seem to not know who I am in the "real-world," but online, I have found a place to show my true self. This is apparently because introverts are more comfortable with writing than speaking in public.
Are You an Introvert?
Are you detail oriented yet details in public spaces overwhelm you?
Do you prefer small parties with intimate friends?
Do you avoid crowds?
Read more ›
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29 of 31 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Please don't understand me too quickly May 28 2003
By A Customer
I agree with those reviewers who complained that the author too often confuses introversion with shyness or even various types of social phobia.
I am an introvert among introverts and repeatedly score as far into introversion as one can get on the MBTI and other scales, so I know whereof I speak.
Contrary to what Marti Olsen Laney says, we introverts don't want extroverts to ask us for our opinions. In most situations, we prefer to listen and analyze, but when we have something to say, we will pontificate on it ad nauseum, which is why most academics, scientists and researchers are introverts.
We also don't prefer to socialize in small groups. We actually like being in large groups because then we are not forced to speak when we'd rather observe and listen. (We can get happily lost in a crowd.)
And God save us from those well-meaning souls who feel they are doing us introverts a favor by "drawing [us] out."
We prefer formality and value our privacy. We'll thank you to respect that.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I couldn't stop reading this one.... April 17 2004
By A Customer
I'm a college student that recently went away to school and it wasn't too long before I started getting cranky and depressed. Being an intovert my whole life, i figured that throwing myself into a social situation would increase my ability to like being social, but all it ever seemed to do was annoy me and make me feel like a failure because i hadn't adapted to all of my extroverted peers. I started reading this book one day when I escaped to the bookstore as a way to get away from campus. I usually don't appreciate any self help books, because they tend to make me feel worse about myself. But this book was quite different. The author has a way of empathizing with the reader and explained to me things about myself that I never would have suspected. The reviews on here that criticize the book for not being complete enough, should realize that it was probably not intended for that purpose. The book does give some quidelines however in helping the introvert understand their situation better. Overall, it gives the introvert hope and reasons to finally accept who they are, because it is difficult to be an introvert in an extroverted world.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Fun, Quick Read - But Needs More Substance Oct. 23 2003
By Molly
Pros: The book neatly covers issues important to introverts - dating, parenting, socializing, work. Each introvert might find a few useful tips. Most fascinating to me was the chapter on biology and genetic causes of introversion and extroversion. It reassures that you're not alone - there are other introverts out there!
Cons: Though called "Introvert ADVANTAGE", it's more coping than celebrating. It dwells on introvert inadequacy, guilt, shame and paralyzing fear. The author seems biased towards her personal experience - right-brained, probably an F (feeling), and married to an extrovert. The book is confusing from a Meyers-Briggs/Keirsey (INTP, ESFJ, etc) standpoint since she divides almost ALL personality traits as introvert or extrovert.
There are style issues as well: The font is large. Many chapters feel introductory at best. Frequent long, rambling stories about the author's family and patients. Hard statistics and clinical/medical studies are sporadic. A lot of "conflict resolution" tips are touchy-feely self-help rather than introvert or extrovert related.
Overall: The book is a quick and easy read, and fun to flip through. The best chapter is personality brain chemistry. While the book could improve from further editing and more research study citations, it is still a fun way to spend an afternoon.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally understand myself
I was not new to knowing I was an introvert and some of the major characteristics of being one, but Marti's book really put things into a clearer perspective. Read more
Published 4 days ago by R. Stumbur
5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for Extroverts, too
Discover yourself and others when you read this. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert (or don't know), this well-written book has plenty of examples to help us understand... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Paula Carlson
5.0 out of 5 stars surprised at how much information I gained
I always wondered why I had a hard time making friends, why I didn't seem to always quite fit in. Reading this book has given me more of an understanding of how introverts have... Read more
Published 7 months ago by sherry
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book for Innies
This is my third book I read in the last few years on introversion and this one proved to be the best for me. The information is easy to understand and to relate to. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Ron Laflamme
5.0 out of 5 stars very helpful
I always wondered why was I so different. This book was very helpful to me to understand how I think, react to situations and helped me with coping skills.
Published 9 months ago by Elizabet A Dueck
5.0 out of 5 stars An eye-opening, even life changing book for me
In my almost six decades of life, I always knew I was a bit different from others. The term "shy" always came to mind, but it failed to really explain how I acted, and... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Garth Howe
5.0 out of 5 stars Superb!
I have personally come to know or have read about calm and quiet people in my lifetime___ my wife, my mother on hindsight as I was only 7 when she passed away, and other great... Read more
Published 16 months ago by Lewis S Sali
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant!
This book was definitely a treasure to discover. It is an eye opener for understanding others and could possibly assist in enhancing your relationships or establish a richer more... Read more
Published 16 months ago by Debra
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read!
This book is a must read for everyone - introvert or extrovert!
Clarifying ideas and thoughts that make sense the first time.
Published 18 months ago by Ashley
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome Book
This is an excellent book. I've recommended it to many of my clients – some of them have since purchased the book. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Nola Johnson
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