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The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life Paperback – Mar 1 2000

4.6 out of 5 stars 17 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Berkley; 1 edition (March 1 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0425172287
  • ISBN-13: 978-0425172285
  • Product Dimensions: 20.8 x 13.2 x 2.4 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 340 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars 17 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #108,556 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

About the Author

Susan Anderson, CSW, is a psychotherapist who has specialized in helping clients deal with heartbreak, loss and abandonment for more than 25 years. She has led workshops on abandonment recovery, conducts seminars and lectures, and has appeared on radio and television speaking on the related issues of addiction, parenting and abandonment.

Inside This Book

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First Sentence
WHEN a relationship ends, it is painful for both people, but the pain is especially debilitating for the one left behind. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I wanted to take the time out to write a review of this book as I have benefitted from it from two points of view. I have been a psychotherapist for twenty years and as such have come face to face with the pain of abandonment in many forms. The loss of love through betrayal, death, changed family circumstances, ill health, divorce, etc. It is often the root cause of much of the pain that people present to my office with.
As well, being a person in this world, I too have been abandoned and despite the knowledge I hold as a mental health professional, experienced the full impact of that wrenching, soul-destroying, desperate fear and sadness.
As I reflected on my own loss, I found Susan's book uniquely helpful. It was especially useful to learn about the science of abandonment. It helped me to feel as if I was not loosing my mind and that despite all the information I held as a therapist, as a biological being, some of my experiences were natural and primal and although extremely painful...they were understandable. It gave me a real sense of hope and possibility.
Consequently, I have shared this book with many of my patients. Almost universally they have found it both comforting and helpful as a realistic tool toward healing and change. It is a book that I would not be without in the library of references I use to help others.
There will be times when someone is unable to fully utilize this book. When their fear of being hurt again is so intense that they hold on to the pain of abandonment as a way of never connecting again. A book that truly helps to transform is not embraced by anyone who unconsciously holds on to a wish to remain unchanged.
So, as a practitioner and a survivor, I could not recommend this book more highly!!
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Format: Paperback
I had a breakup that left me such a basket case for so long that I knew I needed help, so I ordered this book.
This book explained every single thing I was going through.... even the really crazy stuff... like how when I'd see him my heart would race and my hands would shake even though I knew he wasn't going to actually DO anything to me.
The way this guy broke up with me.... he asked me to meet him, for what I thought was a date, and ambushed me by breaking up with me publically in front of her and a lot of other people.
Your book explained to me that I didn't just FEEL like I was ambushed and/or attacked... but I physically reacted that way too. which is why every time I see them together, my body reacts as if it were in danger.
It helped me so much just to be able to understand why I was acting what seemed to be so crazy!
The exercises helped so much too. As I read it, I noticed myself moving through the stages just as described... and as I did the exercises... I started to get the distinct impression that I actually was healing afterall.
This book has been my manual for getting through this crisis... and hopefully finally working out my feelings and issues regarding all the previous ones too. So they might not come back to haunt me again.
When I hit the RAGE stage last week, I may have thought I'd gone insane to suddenly be so angry. But I knew, when I saw it, because it was in the book, that it was me healing... I tried to listen to the advice in the book, do the exercises, and use my anger in productive ways, and know that I'm on the right path because this book is a really good guide.
It will comfort you through the tough times, and help guide you to where you need to go when you're ready to move on through each next stage to healing.
I am happy to be able to see things in this new light.
I feel like this book has given me my sanity back.
Or maybe shown me that I really did have it all along afterall.
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Format: Paperback
I bought this book after reading about it a few times on the web expecting a typical self help relationship book, I was really suprised by what I found. This book is an extrememly helpful guide not only for navigating the waters of a break up, but most i9mportantly using the break up to enhance you life and to come out of it more grown. I can't recommend this book enough for those that are willing to put in the work that this book asks. But that is the clincher of the process that this book presents, it is work. This book doesn't offer a quick fix or a band-aid for the pain of abandonment. It does offer something infinitely more important-a vessel in which to really find yourself, and resucue yourself from the distress and abandonment that we all have within ourselves.
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Format: Paperback
Dr. Susan Anderson has masterfully articulated the experience of abandonment as only a survivor of abandonment could know. She is a survivor herself. Her book, The Journey From Abandonment To Healing, keeps a gentle, respectful tone towards the survivor, and is easy to understand throughout.
This book clearly articulates what I struggled to put into words about the abandonment symptoms I was experiencing. Abandonment is defined as an involuntary separation. Some symptoms include loss of control of the situation, separation anxiety and yearning for the lost love, hoping for the possibility of the lost love's return and the desparation caused by this desire.
The book also covers in great detail the physiology behind emotional withdrawal symptoms of abandonment, including the loss of opioids (hormones) which is similar to heroin withdrawal; the significance of extreme changes in appetite patterns; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; memory loss; the desire to self-medicate to endure the loss; and how society acknowledges those grieving over a death but not over a lost love.
Finally, Dr. Anderson gives some effective exercises in overcoming the crippling symptoms of abandonment. The exercises are not "pat" answers as found in some mainstream books and magazines. These are extensive, healing exercises requiring vulnerable, self-introspection.
I hope this helps someone else out there, too. It sure saved my sanity and all for the modest price of a book -- not an expensive block of therapy sessions!
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