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The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series [Paperback]

Melody Beattie
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (44 customer reviews)
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Book Description

June 1 1990 Hazelden Meditation Series
Melody Beattie integrates her own life experiences and fundamental recovery reflections in this unique daily meditation book written especially for those of us who struggle with the issue of codependency. Problems are made to be solved, Melody reminds us, and the best thing we can do is take responsibility for our own pain and self-care. In this daily inspirational book, Melody provides us with a thought to guide us through the day and she encourages us to remember that each day is an opportunity for growth and renewal.

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The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series + Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself + Codependent No More Workbook
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About the Author

Beattie was a struggling single parent of two children, freelance author, and journalist cranking out stories for a small-town daily newspaper in 1986 when she came up with a book idea. She wanted to write a book about what happens to people when they love someone who is addicted to alcohol and other drugs. "There were many books out there about how to help an addict or alcoholic. Nobody was talking about how an addict impacts the lives of the people around him or her, and how crazy you can become when you love someone who is addicted," Beattie said. "Even though I was sober, I didn't know how crazy I could get until it happened to me." Twenty publishers turned down Beattie's book proposal. "It's a good idea, but we don't think there's that many codependents out there," they wrote back. Hazelden, however, a treatment center and recovery publisher based in Minnesota, saw a need for the book. The publisher understood how families of alcoholics suffer and believed Beattie's book idea would help people. Beattie marched to the welfare department, asked for enough financial help to make it through the three months it would take her to write the book, then locked herself in a basement office and cranked out Codependent No More. Codependent No More has now sold 3.5 million copies. Beattie has since written nine more books, five for major publishing houses on the east and west coasts. She relocated from Minnesota to California, and she has long-since paid back the welfare department. Beattie has appeared in the pages of Newsweek and People and has been a regular guest on Geraldo and Oprah. Playing It By Heart is Beattie's first original book for Hazelden since 1990; the book is a return to her recovery roots that first brought her national recognition.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The Language of Letting Go Melody Beattie January 1 The New Year Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come. Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction. What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed? What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life? Remember, we aren't controlling others with our goals we are trying to give direction to our life. What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career? What would you like to see happen inside and around you? Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go. Certainly, things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story. The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals. Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals. I will do that now, for the year to come, and regularly as needed. I will do it not to control but to do my part in living my life. January 2 Healthy Limits Boundaries are vital to recovery. Having and setting healthy limits is connected to all phases of recovery: growing in self-esteem, dealing with feelings, and learning to really love and value ourselves. Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries. Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We'll set a limit when we're ready, and not a moment before. So will others. There's something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we're controlling others, but because we've changed. Today I will trust that I will learn, grow, and set the limits I need in my life at my own pace. This timing need only be right for me. January 3 Nurturing Self-Care . . . there isn't a guidebook

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Customer Reviews

Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book has great sentimental value for me. March 29 2002
Format:Paperback
I had just read Ms. Beattie's famous/infamous "Codependent No More" and was inspired by her revolutionary ideas: I didn't have to depend on others for approval; I didn't have to base my self-worth on how helpful I was to friends; I didn't have to over-react to everything that happened in my life; I didn't have to think negatively about myself; if I didn't cause the problem then it wasn't my responsibility to fix it.
As a teenager about to enter the "real world," it seemed all I heard from others was what I was "not" doing right. I should know more than I did and be more grateful for what I have; what college did I want to attend? Why wasn't I more ambitious? What's more, I was odd for being frightened by the fact that the world as I knew it was about to fall apart when all my friends moved away to college. Raised among drug addicts and alcoholics, it had been a difficult life thus far. And apparently, if what teachers told me was any indication, it would only get more difficult as I took on the responsibilities of being an adult. Melody's book gave me something that I so desperately needed and could find nowhere else: compassion.
"Codependent No More" was so comforting that I wanted to "live" in its pages. I felt I had entered a new world, and I didn't want to leave. I wanted a way to remember everything I had learned from Melody Beattie about "owning my power" and being compassionate with myself. I wanted a way to "stay on track." I wanted a "guide," something of a daily ritual to keep myself mindful of the liberation she had introduced me to. To that end, I sent Melody Beattie a letter thanking her for her work and asking if she knew anything about "Codependents Anonymous" groups. I was honored to receive a reply, and she directed me to the national headquarters for CoDA.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars More than letting go Jan. 6 2012
By L. Power HALL OF FAME TOP 10 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback
I had been thinking about buying a book on this topic for some time to further my self improvement process.

This book is about so much more than letting go. It is also about personal power. When you let go of something, it loses its power to control you, and you move forward with your life in a more empowering way.

This book is set up with daily meditations on different issues. If you were to open any page at random, you would probably find something very useful. It is easily read, and as you read can feel the shift in your perception, as these simple to follow principles make a lot of sense.

If you are like most people, there are plenty of things you need to let go of, and you probably have no idea what some of these are. The first step is to identify that a change needs to be made.

Here you will discover many ideas you can use to improve your life. There are too many for me to list in a review, but here are a few biggies:

Attachment, guilt, blame, seeking appoval, codependency, fear, doubt, controlling, family issues, perfection, martyrdom, denial, grief, anger, victimhood.

You replace these non serving beliefs with something more empowering, as you start to practice detachment, self approval, develop an abundance mentality, an attitude of gratitude etc.

There is a principle in psychology that if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.

So,let go and move forward. Imagine how pleased you will be when you have made a lasting change in your life. All lasting changes in your outer reality are accompanied by changes in internal perception.

I highly recommend this book.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Nice to find I am not the ONLY ONE April 10 1999
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Co Dependent No More helped me greatly. It was like a slap in the face and a big wake up call. So I had to buy this book as well! Because ,I could not let go of relationships in my life that had died long ago. I was obsessed with any and all people,upon knowing them for two minutes. This guide is very inspiring and helpful,helps you get through the day. Melody's books were suggested to me by an excellent Therapist.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Tells you what it really means to let go! Jan. 13 2003
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
This book tells you what it really means to let go and what happens if you truly let go. Many times we think we have let go of something in our heads but we are just in denial. Our heart has not really let go. This book has helped me overcome some of the most painful experiences in my life. If you want to really understand what letting go means, I'd also recommend "The Ever-transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. After you read this book by Toru, you will feel very free and understand how life is actually quite simple and extremely beautiful.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Life Changing! March 30 2009
Format:Paperback
This is a daily reflection book with a different reading for every day of the year. I have been reading this book daily for most of the past ten years and continue to experience new insights about self, others, and interpersonal relationships.

Melody Beattie has become recognized as an authority in the field of addiction recovery and codependency. If you are affected by addiction in any way, whether directly or through a loved one, this book will touch your heart, stimulate thoughtful reflection, and help you heal and change your life.

At A Home Away addiction recovery retreat, this is a standard morning reflection we read from every morning after breakfast. The powerful sharing that is stimulated often forms the cornerstone of the recovery experience of many of our guests.

Regardless of whether you consider yourself working a program of recovery, anyone interested in personal growth and improving the quality of relationships would benefit from this book. I strongly recommend it be used as a daily reflection, and not read through as a text book.

I also recommend this particular edition over "More Language of Letting Go". As useful as that is, this original has the basics not to be missed.

John Derry, A Home Away Retreat, Kelowna, BC, Canada
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
This book came to me when I really needed it, at a time in my life when things had reached their climax after many years of being in denial and trying to run from my problems. Read more
Published 1 month ago by waterfalls76
5.0 out of 5 stars Melody Beattie Book - Language of Letting Go
great book all around, lots of good daily readings to get started to a great day. I would suggest this book to anyone
Published 1 month ago by Karen Ritsco,Karen Ritsco
5.0 out of 5 stars just what I needed
I recommend this to anyone who is looking for a good way to let go of needing to control, and opening to the gifts of another source
Published 2 months ago by Jamie Black
5.0 out of 5 stars So true
Great book to remind us of things to help gain a perspective of our daily lives that is positive and rewarding.
Published 2 months ago by Dianne Scott
3.0 out of 5 stars Not my cup of tea
The book is helpful by giving people daily positive focus. It was not helpful in my situation. I can see how it would help people that are dealing with issues of co dependency
Published 3 months ago by Susan saucier
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent used book
Although the package got held up by the postal services, once it came I was very pleased. As a very inexpensive used book, I expected it to be worn, but it looks brand new!
Published 18 months ago by Laurie J
5.0 out of 5 stars Finding Peace
I was looking for a book that I could read each day to find peace. This book is wonderful. It makes everything seem simple and gives you hope that you can face things each day... Read more
Published 21 months ago by Jeannie
3.0 out of 5 stars Language of letting go
The book is very inspirational. It has daily quotes which are beneficial. I did not know it was a religous book when I bought it. Read more
Published on Dec 18 2011 by A simple girl
5.0 out of 5 stars Can't go wrong with this book!
Written by the experts, it offers sound and invaluable advice on letting go and releasing yourself from co-dependency.
Published on June 27 2004 by M. Alther
5.0 out of 5 stars AUTHOR REVIEW - FIVE STARS
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie is an excellent tool for anyone who wants to work through the painful process of ending a relationship. Read more
Published on June 21 2003 by "sanzo1"
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