The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series Paperback – Jun 1 1990
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About the Author
Beattie was a struggling single parent of two children, freelance author, and journalist cranking out stories for a small-town daily newspaper in 1986 when she came up with a book idea. She wanted to write a book about what happens to people when they love someone who is addicted to alcohol and other drugs. "There were many books out there about how to help an addict or alcoholic. Nobody was talking about how an addict impacts the lives of the people around him or her, and how crazy you can become when you love someone who is addicted," Beattie said. "Even though I was sober, I didn't know how crazy I could get until it happened to me." Twenty publishers turned down Beattie's book proposal. "It's a good idea, but we don't think there's that many codependents out there," they wrote back. Hazelden, however, a treatment center and recovery publisher based in Minnesota, saw a need for the book. The publisher understood how families of alcoholics suffer and believed Beattie's book idea would help people. Beattie marched to the welfare department, asked for enough financial help to make it through the three months it would take her to write the book, then locked herself in a basement office and cranked out Codependent No More. Codependent No More has now sold 3.5 million copies. Beattie has since written nine more books, five for major publishing houses on the east and west coasts. She relocated from Minnesota to California, and she has long-since paid back the welfare department. Beattie has appeared in the pages of Newsweek and People and has been a regular guest on Geraldo and Oprah. Playing It By Heart is Beattie's first original book for Hazelden since 1990; the book is a return to her recovery roots that first brought her national recognition.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The Language of Letting Go Melody Beattie January 1 The New Year Make New Year's goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you're interested in fully living life in the year to come. Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction. What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed? What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life? Remember, we aren't controlling others with our goals we are trying to give direction to our life. What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career? What would you like to see happen inside and around you? Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go. Certainly, things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story. The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals. Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals. I will do that now, for the year to come, and regularly as needed. I will do it not to control but to do my part in living my life. January 2 Healthy Limits Boundaries are vital to recovery. Having and setting healthy limits is connected to all phases of recovery: growing in self-esteem, dealing with feelings, and learning to really love and value ourselves. Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries. Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We'll set a limit when we're ready, and not a moment before. So will others. There's something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we're controlling others, but because we've changed. Today I will trust that I will learn, grow, and set the limits I need in my life at my own pace. This timing need only be right for me. January 3 Nurturing Self-Care . . . there isn't a guidebook
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Top Customer Reviews
As a teenager about to enter the "real world," it seemed all I heard from others was what I was "not" doing right. I should know more than I did and be more grateful for what I have; what college did I want to attend? Why wasn't I more ambitious? What's more, I was odd for being frightened by the fact that the world as I knew it was about to fall apart when all my friends moved away to college. Raised among drug addicts and alcoholics, it had been a difficult life thus far. And apparently, if what teachers told me was any indication, it would only get more difficult as I took on the responsibilities of being an adult. Melody's book gave me something that I so desperately needed and could find nowhere else: compassion.
"Codependent No More" was so comforting that I wanted to "live" in its pages. I felt I had entered a new world, and I didn't want to leave. I wanted a way to remember everything I had learned from Melody Beattie about "owning my power" and being compassionate with myself. I wanted a way to "stay on track." I wanted a "guide," something of a daily ritual to keep myself mindful of the liberation she had introduced me to. To that end, I sent Melody Beattie a letter thanking her for her work and asking if she knew anything about "Codependents Anonymous" groups. I was honored to receive a reply, and she directed me to the national headquarters for CoDA.Read more ›
This book is about so much more than letting go. It is also about personal power. When you let go of something, it loses its power to control you, and you move forward with your life in a more empowering way.
This book is set up with daily meditations on different issues. If you were to open any page at random, you would probably find something very useful. It is easily read, and as you read can feel the shift in your perception, as these simple to follow principles make a lot of sense.
If you are like most people, there are plenty of things you need to let go of, and you probably have no idea what some of these are. The first step is to identify that a change needs to be made.
Here you will discover many ideas you can use to improve your life. There are too many for me to list in a review, but here are a few biggies:
Attachment, guilt, blame, seeking appoval, codependency, fear, doubt, controlling, family issues, perfection, martyrdom, denial, grief, anger, victimhood.
You replace these non serving beliefs with something more empowering, as you start to practice detachment, self approval, develop an abundance mentality, an attitude of gratitude etc.
There is a principle in psychology that if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten.
So,let go and move forward. Imagine how pleased you will be when you have made a lasting change in your life. All lasting changes in your outer reality are accompanied by changes in internal perception.
I highly recommend this book.
Melody Beattie has become recognized as an authority in the field of addiction recovery and codependency. If you are affected by addiction in any way, whether directly or through a loved one, this book will touch your heart, stimulate thoughtful reflection, and help you heal and change your life.
At A Home Away addiction recovery retreat, this is a standard morning reflection we read from every morning after breakfast. The powerful sharing that is stimulated often forms the cornerstone of the recovery experience of many of our guests.
Regardless of whether you consider yourself working a program of recovery, anyone interested in personal growth and improving the quality of relationships would benefit from this book. I strongly recommend it be used as a daily reflection, and not read through as a text book.
I also recommend this particular edition over "More Language of Letting Go". As useful as that is, this original has the basics not to be missed.
John Derry, A Home Away Retreat, Kelowna, BC, Canada
I bought this book on the advice of a 27yr veteran in Alanon. I've never regretted purchasing this book. The readings are insightful, and go hand in hand with another great read "The Courage To Change". I've yet to discover why Alanon has yet not recommended this book?! Trust me, this is one of the best daily readers you can get!
I like this book so much, that I've given SEVERAL away as gifts to those that I love dearly. To this date, I've NEVER received a single complaint, only compliments on the depth and wisdom, of the words written by Melody Beatie. So, if you want a great daily reader, then I HIGHLY recommend this book. On yet another note, I just purchased "More language Of Letting Go" so, as soon as I've read a bit of it, I'll post my comments here.
Most recent customer reviews
It is a book that I read every morning to keep me grounded.
I has much knowledge on how to live my life.
I would recommend this book to anyone
This book is an incredible support to all those on the journey to Recovery, offering daily readings of wisdom and encouragement. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
My favorite morning meditation book. A beautiful nurturing approach which gives encouragement and a sense of being on the right path to serenity. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
This book is amazing. Its daily messages are always completely on-point. I have learned so much from this book and continue to learn more each and everyday. Read morePublished 5 months ago by Tricia M
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