The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate [Paperback]

 

 

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The Language of Love and Respect promises better communication with your mate and falls under the spiritual growth genre of self help books. It is a book I would not normally read as I frankly find the whole self help genre to be completely overdone and overhyped. I believe in living my life daily while trying to be fully present for experiences as they present themselves. Frankly I have always been baffled by people who seek spiritual awareness in a book. So the self help genre for me is a self indulgent and odd little phenomenon. The Language of Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs has not changed my view of this type of book. To be clear there were probably a few good pointers in this book, but most of them seemed as if they'd already been written about somewhere else. The premise of this language is that men communicate essentially in blue while women communicate in pink. Women see things with pink sunglasses and men with blue; women hear things with pink hearing aids and men with blue. While the references to pink and blue are clearly old fashioned and stereotypical, the theory has a bit of merit. One need only drive on a roadtrip with a man anywhere to realize this theory. I explain it in terms of Google Maps. When I drive and navigate towards a destination I print out Google turn by turn word directions. It helps me to know when and where to turn. My husband, on the other hand, proved my theory this summer on a road trip to Ohio. He was stunned I hadn't printed out the actual map. Pink glasses. Blue glasses. I call it google map theory. The entire philosophy present in The Language is a bit too reminiscent of Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus. The language in this book also threw me as a reviewer. The author also describes what he calls the "Crazy Cycle" as the space in a communication exchange where you are trapped and communicating at cross purposes. The grown up verison of "No I didn't." "Yes, you did." In his defence he does give several examples of how to get off the cycle or avoid the cycle. He cites this as an example: on an occasion when his wife was planning to go help a friend with a new baby, she previously noted she would be going to him, but when it came closer to the event, she told him again and the author realizes he didn't remember her saying anything about the new baby. He suggests that as it is typically a male trait to not listen carefully enough, that it was his fault. Instead of stating: "You did not tell me that." the author paused and realized he was at fault. Instead the statement to his wife was something like this: "I am sorry, I don't recall hearing you tell me that you were going. I apologize I must not have been listening." If men read this type of book then there may be a few lessons learned from these types of examples. Still I wish he'd thought this out with more sensitivity to terminology. The term "Crazy Cycle" is somewhat offensive. Eggerichs is a P.H.D. and a Pastor who runs marriage clinics and counselling groups. He lives in East Lansing, Michigan. There are a few worthwhile communication lessons here, but this sadly is not a book I would go out of my way to buy as it has been done before, and I think also better, by other authors.
The Language of Love and Respect gets a $$ out of $$$$$
Thomas Nelson Publishers, $14.99 U.S. 2007 originally published as Cracking The Communication Code. (sadly a better title the first time around.)
Posted by thriftymomma at 2:56 PM

"The Language of Love and Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with your Mate" initially peaked my interest as a must-read after its predecessor "Love & Respect". In both books Dr. E. Eggerichs lays out the vast differences between men and women and gives practical examples of how to apply the communication tools he writes about with your spouse.

While I enjoyed reading this second book, I found it very much a continuation to that of Eggerichs first. Having said this, I would not reccomend reading number two without having read number one. Eggerich seems to take what he theorizes in "Love and Respect" and goes deeper in this sequel. I really reccomend you having the background from book one to thoroughly capture book twos potential.

I enjoyed the books well balanced approach at linking scriptures to the way we communicate with our spouse. Keeping in mind that this is a continuation book to "Love and Respect", I'd highly reccomend this as a great follow-up for readers young and old!

The Language of Love and Respect is Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' follow up to the breakthrough book, Love and Respect. The communication tendencies of men and women are compared, contrasted and examined thoroughly throughout this volume. Eggerichs is careful to include many practical examples of how to apply the principles of communication he writes about.

This book was a challenging read in a variety of ways. I alternatively found myself thankful for how thorough the author was in examining certain facets of communication between spouses and wondering at other times if he was not beating a dead horse. If you enjoyed the author's first book, Love and Respect, and want to dive more deeply into the nuts and bolts of how to communicate in marriage within the Love and Respect paradigm, this book is for you. If you were not captivated by the first book, this one will not hold your attention.

This book presents a thoroughly Scriptural, practical and well examined approach to healthy communication in marriage. If you are hungry to learn how to apply Love and Respect principles to the way you speak to your spouse then this book is for you.

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5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read for Christian Marriages
I have previously read Eggerich's top selling book, Love and Respect a few years ago and loved it! So when my husband and I had the opportunity to attend a Love & Respect workshop... Read more

Published on Jan 23 2010 by Shirley Rempel

4.0 out of 5 stars A great book on communciation in marriage
I read Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' book Love and Respect about two years ago, before marrying my wonderful husband. Read more

Published on Dec 20 2009 by Christina Banks

4.0 out of 5 stars Cracking the Code
Have you ever fought with your spouse, and after it was over, wondered what you were arguing about? Have you ever felt unloved, disrespected, or misunderstood by the person whom... Read more

Published on Nov 28 2009 by Charlotte

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