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The Loss That Is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father
 
 

The Loss That Is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father [Paperback]

Maxine Harris
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
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Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

More than 60 men and women who lost a parent at an early age contributed their stories to this investigation of an important life event by a practicing psychotherapist. Their stories?including accounts of some famous figures: C.S. Lewis, Virginia Woolf, Eleanor Roosevelt?shed light on a legacy of loss the author views as "the psychological Great Divide, separating the world into a permanent 'before and after.'" Whatever form the impact of this loss takes in later adult life?it can be rage, driving ambition, fear of intimacy?these life stories amply demonstrate the indelible character of the mark left on the child. These are also stories of recovery, of people who became more than survivors, testifying to the repair of damage from childhood trauma. This enlightening presentation opens up a seldom discussed topic.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Book Description

"Beautifully written and informative. Harris' eloquence is exceeded only by the compassion and insight she brings to this perplexing and formative experience."—Vamik D. Volkan, Univ. of Virginia.

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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

14 Reviews
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 (12)
4 star:
 (1)
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Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (14 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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5.0 out of 5 stars Unspeakable Grief, Jun 2 2004
By 
sally greenhouse (northampton,ma USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Loss That Is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father (Paperback)
My father died suddenly 44 years ago, shattering the illusion of security that nearly every other child takes for granted : the ongoing presence of a loved and caring parent.I was almost seven years old, but it has been the single most determining experience of my entire life. No other book I have ever read on the subject (and there are regrettably few) has offered as much illuminating information or insight into this under-researched,too-often- unacknowledged life changing loss.This author leaves no stone unturned, no question unanswered.She deftly gets out of the way of the 66 individuals
telling their poignant stories of early parental death and allows the details to emerge, vividly evoking both the internal and external realities of the event as well as its aftermath.Her interpretive narration provides more insightful observations and accurate conclusions than I have received from decades of psychotherapeutic intervention, all conveyed with a tone of deferential respect.

This book is a must-read not only for anyone who has endured the overwhelming trauma of losing a parent through death
in childhood, but also for those therapists who accompany them on their lifelong journeys of emotional healing. We need more informed professionals, who can recognize the particular
lifelong shockwaves that this kind of loss entails. Maxine Harris
has provided the most definitive and comprehensive resource available for adults who cannot imagine what it would be like for your parents to die and have no-one send you a sympathy card-
or even act as if anything significant had happened at all!A friend in her 40's called me to relate the recent death of her father and the funeral gathering, during which she was surrounded
by friends and family, consoling her as she scattered his ashes over a canyon near her childhood home. Then she sighed and remarked,"Öh, you know how it is...we're the age when our parents die..." I replied, "No, actually, I don't know how that is...but there is this book that will tell you what MY experience was like.It's called THE LOSS THAT IS FOREVER."

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5.0 out of 5 stars This book changed my life., Aug 14 2003
By 
K. Weishampel "Kerry W" (Los Angeles) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Loss That Is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father (Paperback)
Everyone knows that loosing a parent will cause life-long grief, this book enlightens the reader to the life long habits and thinking patterns that occur. It's a blueprint to understanding yourself if you've lost a parent as a child. I can't recommend it enough.
I thought I had self actualized and knew myself very well until I read this book. I lost my father when I was six.
Everything I have become and all of the choices I've made have had something to do with that. I had no idea.
Then I read this book that described me so well. I don't usually buy books, but I keep this one on the shelf, well dusted and frequently referred to.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Close to Home, Sep 18 2002
This review is from: The Loss That Is Forever: The Lifelong Impact of the Early Death of a Mother or Father (Paperback)
Although I lost my dad over 18 years ago, I think about him as often as I do any living family member. This book makes me realize I'm not the only one. It's unlike other books on the same subject in that it chronicles different people's experiences rather than detailing psychological or sociological theories and providing anecdotes as filler. As an adult, I find it comforting to hear other people's accounts of their childhood memories of parent loss. For someone in this situation, it's a unique opportunity to identify anonymously with others' grief and ways of coping. I definitely recommend this book for those people who find themselves searching and asking questions about the child they were and how early parent loss has affected the person they are now.
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