The Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy and Vice [Paperback]

I had expected the authors to stick to the obvious tenets of Gentlemen's Finishing School 101: regularly trim burgeoning nasal (and other personal) topiary, attend to itches IN PRIVATE, maintain eye contact with a lady's face, etc. I was fascinated and charmed to see the authors swashbuckle their way across a much wider swath of territory. The thoughtful advice proffered includes not pressuring a pregnant girlfriend for intimacy (or to take a particular course of action regarding the pregnancy) and refraining from ogling a dancer performing at an adjacent table in a "gentleman's club" without making a payment. (Truth be told, I had never, ever, realized that this type of establishment called for such enlightened etiquette. Then again, my venues of entertainment happen to be concert halls, but more of that later on in this review.) The authors also advise a best man to calm down the groom beset by pre-wedding jitters and to handle the latter's wallet for gratuities and checks. A truly considerate touch!

A part of a lifestyle guide is to navigate the delicate balance between honoring one's authentic self while developing grace and savoir-faire. In this regard, I was really irked to see the readers being advised to fake an interest in classical music. To quote directly from the source; "Below are eight must -haves that, like answers to $800 and $1000 Jeopardy questions will show off your musical breadth." Investigating new cultural avenues is laudable. However, faking an interest to impress others is deplorably sophomoric.

In the same vein, cutting through the thicket of excessive verbiage in the book is exhausting. Isn't clobberring others with one's erudition at odds with projecting a subtly sophisticated aura of "to the manner born"? I always had the impression that trying too hard was the most distinctive mark of the poseur.

Now for the downright questionable advice. The authors devote far too much space to the topic of alcoholic libations. The sub topics covered on this matter even include the machinations of transporting it in a flask (to be secretly sipped, for instance, at the house of a girlfriend's stuffy parents). The authors also blithely encourage lying to a lover about the number of previous sexual partners.

The book has potential to be a great graduation gift to a young man ... once the authors and their editors take some quiet hours (minus their flasks) to re-think their ideals and to rewrite the book in a more accessible lingo.