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The Myth of Stress: Where Stress Really Comes from and How to Overcome it [Paperback]

Andrew J. Bernstein
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Simple Pragmatic Elegant Dec 19 2010
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I listened to the audio version of this book which is read by the author. It was great.

I have been using self help books for years, some great, some so-so. This book ranks among the best of any of them. It is cross between David Burn's "Feeling Good" (a classic you will find on most psychologist's book shelves) and Byron Katie's "The Work" to which the author refers.

The book comes with a worksheet which you work through numerous times through the book. I have completed over 20 of these now and I am sleeping better and am more relaxed and stress free than I have been for many years. All within a couple of weeks. You will get out of this book what you willing to put in.

I am indebted to Andrew Bernstein.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.5 out of 5 stars  30 reviews
24 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars First self-help book in 35 years that really worked July 24 2010
By C. Hooks - Published on
This is what a self-help book should be. You buy it, you honestly and earnestly do what it says to do and it all works like it says it will. This is the way it's supposed to be. I can't think of a higher recommendation. I was shocked at how the stress went way down when I did my own worksheet on "Why I should not be financially successful at this time." I thought taking an honest look at myself would make me feel worse and, in addition, cause me to lose my motivation to work hard. But just as the author explains in detail, you will actually unwind your emotional knots and feel much better. I actually want to work harder and smarter but this time, after having done the worksheet, I am now coming from a different place. A place of greatly improved peace and clear-mindedness. Furthermore, the changes appear to be long-lasting, not just a temporary high. But even if I'm not ultimately successful, in a way, I'm no longer emotionally attached to the outcome whatever it may be. This is the first clear-headedness and peace-of-mind I have ever experienced. I also noticed that the relief is immediate but after several days of occasional reflection the insight is deeper and so is the sweet peace. The implications are pretty staggering. This means I can be my own counselor. I no longer feel that I have to depend on anyone else for my happiness or to help me "figure things out emotionally." In my mind, this is what all my years of reading the Bible and religion should have done(bring me peace and tremendous desire to work hard). Instead, they just made me feel worse about myself and not motivated to do anything but apologize for even living. This book did for me what the Bible, religion, NLP, "Law of Attraction" books and all the other, seemingly endless, psychology books could not do. In a way, to me, this book is the Rosetta Stone for all of Psychology. What is the point of Psychology/Psychiatry? To provide insight that is totally convincing to yourself and that destroys the negative beliefs you are holding. In NLP terms, this technique allows me to to reframe-on-demand anything I want(far easier and more effective than "Mind-Lines"). And have the insights and peace-of-mind stick. If doubt creeps in, I just do another worksheet. I can now thankfully throw away my NLP books, Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Think and Grow Rich, the "Law of Attraction" scam books(including "The Secret" and Joseph Murphy) and all the rest. Why couldn't they get to the point in a simple, elegant and intensely practical way like this author has? Thank you, sir.
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly clear and elegant May 13 2010
By Brian E. Adler - Published on
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
I have long enthusiastically studied both eastern religious and western psychological approaches to the relief of stress and suffering. Andy has identified the essential wisdom behind the ones that actually work which is that it is not our experience that causes suffering but rather our thoughts about our experience that cause us to suffer.

He presents a practical way to understand and benefit from this insight that is extremely elegant and clear. I find more than anything else I've come across, I can feel comfortable sharing Andy's book and insights with people. There is a logic and common sense to this process that once understood is so reasonable that it seems very unlikely to me to trigger the cynicism or skepticism you might expect from someone not normally attracted to this subject.

I highly recommend this book for oneself. But furthermore, I highly recommend this book for a friend who might otherwise never be open enough to consider an alternative viewpoint to negotiate their way through life difficulty.

This is a book simply, clearly, and logically enough written that I believe it can cast a very wide net on who will be able and interested to hear it. It is by no means the first book to take on this subject and to attempt to share this wisdom. But it may well be the most clear and the most accessible.
10 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Immediately Actionable & Supremely Effective - A Game Changer June 21 2010
By E. Quinones - Published on
The single most effective, scientifically based, and immediately actionable approach I have ever used to respond to experiences of stress, regret & discrimination - ESPECIALLY for skeptics and people turned off by anything that smells of cheesy "self-help."

Chapters "The Myth of Discrimination," "The Myth of a Broken Heart," and "The Myth of Dying Too Soon" alone are probably worth 10x the sticker price of the book.

I literally read the book from beginning to end, followed along by doing the exercises honestly, paying full attention, and have already obliterated the traces of a couple major stresses and past regrets already. Now that I've finished the book, I've established the habit of doing the very simple ActivInsight exercise on paper (on my computer, actually) whenever something new comes up.

I can't recommend this enough. Even though I'm a big "self-help" guy, I RARELY ever promote such material for fear of being made fun of.

This book is so important, though, that I don't care. Furthermore, with the book's tone I feel even more compelled to share it especially with people who are usually turned off by self-help.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Myth of Stress: Where Stress Really Comes From and How to Live a Happier and Healthier Life April 1 2011
By mike suhadolnik - Published on
In addition to reading Bernstein's book, I watched 8 videos of him performing at workshops. Changing someone's thinking is a challenge. It is clear that he has had ample experience putting his process to use and presenting it to various groups. The beauty of his process is that it simple. I have had the exposure to many employees experiencing the impact of the stress they create for themself and their struggle dealing with it. The key word is "insight" and is what is achieved through his exercise. I have done my share of reading help books over the years and rate Bernstein's as one of the best. He writes like he speaks, does not bog down using arcane vocabulary and is very clever with the examples he uses to project/reinforce his process. I came away with a breakthrough in thinking from his introduction of the concept of "Relative Peak Intelligence" and have since had the opportunity to effectively use the explanation of this theory with myself and others in numerous occasions. Bernstein is at the embryo stage of developing his ambition.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Stress: It's Everywhere! (Or so we Think) Aug. 25 2010
By Jennie Noeline - Published on
It's everywhere, or so we think. I get up in the morning and there it was waiting for me when I slept through my alarm clock and was late for work. It showed up again on my way to work in the traffic jam and yet again at work in the team meeting. It crept in at family dinner disguised as conversation. Finally at the end of the day I go to bed with it and it keeps me up late only to make me sleep through my alarm clock again.

Stress seems to follow me around looking for opportunities to make my life miserable.

"Myth of Stress" by Andrew Bernstein challenges the common thought process that outside factors are the cause of the stress. Based on personal experience, research and professional work, he posits that stress is 100% internal. In his blog on Psychology Today he says, "The truth is that stress doesn't come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about these circumstances. "

He presents a simple thought process to engage in at the moment stress occurs. By the end of this process each time I am able to change the way I feel by changing the way I think. The truth I realized is that stress indeed follows me around. It lives in the way I perceive situations and people in my life. If I change my perception and act on positive behaviors that encourage the elimination of stress, I can minimize the amount of stress I feel drastically.

Although simple, this process takes practice and is best utilized in conjunction with the tools Andrew Bernstein and his company ActivInsight have provided, which can be found at [...]Give it a try and see if changing your thoughts can help you alleviate the stress that seems to be everywhere.
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