From Amazon
The Nanny Diaries is an absolutely addictive peek into the utterly weird world of child rearing in the upper reaches of Manhattan's social strata. Cowritten by two former nannies, Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, the novel follows the adventures of the aptly named Nan as she negotiates the Byzantine byways of working for Mrs. X, a Park Avenue mommy. Nan's 4-year-old charge, the hilariously named Grayer (his pals include Josephina, Christabelle, Brandford, and Darwin) is a genuinely good sort. He can't help it if his mom has scheduled him for every activity known to the Upper East Side, including ice skating, French lessons, and a Mommy and Me group largely attended by nannies. What makes the book so impossible to put down is the suspense of finding out what the unbelievably inconsiderate Mrs. X will demand of Nan next. One pictures the two authors having the last hearty laugh on their former employers. --Claire Dederer
From Publishers Weekly
Two former Manhattan nannies blow the lid off of the private child-care industry with a hilarious debut that pulls no punches as it recounts the travails of Nan, a hip Mary Poppins looking for a job to fit around her child-development classes at NYU. Mrs. X seems reasonable enough when she hires Nan to look after her four-year-old son, Grayer, but she quickly reveals herself to be a monster a bundle of neuroses wrapped up in Prada, whose son is little more than another status symbol in a fabulous Park Avenue apartment. Mr. X is just as horrible, although he's rarely seen or heard, too busy navigating mergers and mistresses to make time for a family starving for his affection. Nan finds herself stuck in a low-paying job from which she can be fired on a whim, enduring a steady stream of condescension, indifference and passive-aggressive notes on Mrs. X's posh stationery. Against the advice of family and friends, she stays because of her devotion to Grayer but how long will it be before she explodes? The pages fairly crackle with class resentment that might have been more convincing if Nanny's own family weren't as comfortable, and the finale delivers more whimper than bang, but it's easy to forgive such flaws when everything else rings true. Especially impressive is the authors' ability to allow the loathsome Mrs. X occasional flashes of humanity and pathos. Required reading for parents and the women they hire to do their parenting. National advertising and author publicity. (Mar.)Forecast: With Julia Roberts doing the Random Audio version, and film rights already sold to Miramax, the sky's the limit for this thoroughly appealing title.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
This is an inside story. The authors have both worked as nannies for well-to-do New Yorkers, and here they fictionalize their experiences to protect the innocentDand the guilty!
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
The difference between a baby-sitter and a nanny is the employer's income. If your boss makes seven figures, you're definitely a nanny. Here, the nanny's real name is Nanny, and her charge is four-year-old Grayer Addison X. College student Nanny wanted a 12-hour-a-week gig, but soon enough, she is soon working triple-overtime attending "Family Day" at preschool and being asked by a "Long-Term Development Consultant" what "methodology" she follows in dressing young Grayer. Things only get worse when Mr. X's mistress expects Nanny to help facilitate her employer's affair. Based on the authors' experiences as nannies to Manhattan's elite, the novel thoroughly skewers the privileged few, but beyond the satire, readers will care greatly for Nanny, poor Grayer, and even Mrs. X, who suffers the humiliation of her husband's infidelity even as she attempts to deny it. Some minor characters need fleshing out and a subplot involving Nanny's romance with an Ivy League student is left dangling, but finally this is a fast-paced, witty, and thoroughly entertaining tale. Beth Warrell
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
"a national phenomenon" --Newsweek
"[Nanny is] Mary Poppins channeling Dorothy Parker" --Time
"[Nanny is] Mary Poppins channeling Dorothy Parker" --Time
From the Back Cover
WANTED:
One young woman to take care of a four-year-old boy.
Must be bordering on masochistic.
Must relish sixteen-hour shifts with a nap-deprived pre-schooler.
Must love getting thrown up on, literally and figuratively, by everyone in his family
Mostly, must love being treated like fungus found growing out of employers Hermès bag.
Those who take it personally need not apply.
Who wouldn’t want this job?
Nanny is a struggling grad student with no visible piercings. Mrs. X, of Park Avenue, doesn’t work, clean, cook, or raise her own child. She makes appointments and lists. Nanny needs a job. Mrs. X needs someone accommodating. Nanny and Mrs. X need each other. In return, Nanny is subjected to erratic shifts, irregular paychecks, and the sullen moods of her four-year-old charge. Sentenced to every play date known to Central Park, and every gourmet-snack run she can handle, Nanny needs a diversion that an afternoon martini can’t fulfill. Then she discovers a secret about Mr. X. Navigating a marriage on the rocks and the increasingly paranoid, impossibly demanding attitude of her employer, Nanny is redefining servitude. Because now, Nanny has something worth more than Mrs. X’s ill-fitting Prada castoffs as a thankless bonus.
Nanny’s acquiring the power of revenge…
“A national phenomenon.”
—Newsweek
“[Nanny is] Mary Poppins channeling Dorothy Parker.”—Time
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
One young woman to take care of a four-year-old boy.
Must be bordering on masochistic.
Must relish sixteen-hour shifts with a nap-deprived pre-schooler.
Must love getting thrown up on, literally and figuratively, by everyone in his family
Mostly, must love being treated like fungus found growing out of employers Hermès bag.
Those who take it personally need not apply.
Who wouldn’t want this job?
Nanny is a struggling grad student with no visible piercings. Mrs. X, of Park Avenue, doesn’t work, clean, cook, or raise her own child. She makes appointments and lists. Nanny needs a job. Mrs. X needs someone accommodating. Nanny and Mrs. X need each other. In return, Nanny is subjected to erratic shifts, irregular paychecks, and the sullen moods of her four-year-old charge. Sentenced to every play date known to Central Park, and every gourmet-snack run she can handle, Nanny needs a diversion that an afternoon martini can’t fulfill. Then she discovers a secret about Mr. X. Navigating a marriage on the rocks and the increasingly paranoid, impossibly demanding attitude of her employer, Nanny is redefining servitude. Because now, Nanny has something worth more than Mrs. X’s ill-fitting Prada castoffs as a thankless bonus.
Nanny’s acquiring the power of revenge…
“A national phenomenon.”
—Newsweek
“[Nanny is] Mary Poppins channeling Dorothy Parker.”—Time
About the Author
Nicola Kraus and Emma McLaughlin reside in New York City. They are no longer nannies.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
PROLOGUE
The Interview
Every season of my nanny career kicked off with a round of interviews so surreally similar that I'd often wonder if the mothers were slipped a secret manual at the Parents League to guide them through. This initial encounter became as repetitive as religious ritual, tempting me, in the moment before the front door swung open, either to kneel and genuflect or say, "Hit it!"
No other event epitomized the job as perfectly, and it always began and ended in an elevator nicer than most New Yorkers' apartments.
***
The walnut-paneled car slowly pulls me up, like a bucket in a well, toward potential solvency. As I near the appointed floor I take a deep breath; the door slides open onto a small vestibule which is the portal to, at most, two apartments. I press the doorbell.
Nanny Fact: she always waits for me to ring the doorbell, even though she was buzzed by maximum security downstairs to warn of my imminent arrival and is probably standing on the other side of the door. May, in fact, have been standing there since we spoke on the telephone three days ago.
The dark vestibule, wallpapered in some gloomy Colefax and Fowler floral, always contains a brass umbrella stand, a horse print, and a mirror, wherein I do one last swift check of my appearance. I seem to have grown stains on my skirt during the train ride from school, but otherwise I'm pulled together--twin set, floral skirt, and some Gucci-knockoff sandals I bought in the Village. She is always tiny. Her hair is always straight and thin; she always seems to be inhaling and never exhaling. She is always wearing expensive khaki pants, Chanel ballet flats, a French striped Tshirt, and a white cardigan. Possibly some discreet pearls. In seven years and umpteen interviews the I'm-momcasual-in-my-khakis-but-intimidating-in-my-$400-shoes outfit never changes. And it is simply impossible to imagine her doing anything so undignified as what was required to get her pregnant in the first place.
Her eyes go directly to the splot on my skirt. I blush. I haven't even opened my mouth and already I'm behind.
She ushers me into the front hall, an open space with a gleaming marble floor and mushroom-gray walls. In the middle is a round table with a vase of flowers that look as if they might die, but never dare wilt.
This is my first impression of the Apartment and it strikes me like a hotel suite--immaculate, but impersonal. Even the lone finger painting I will later find taped to the fridge looks as if it were ordered from a catalog. (Sub-Zeros with a custom-colored panel aren't magnetized.)
She offers to take my cardigan, stares disdainfully at the hair my cat seems to have rubbed on it for good luck, and offers me a drink.
I'm supposed to say, "Water would be lovely," but am often tempted to ask for a Scotch, just to see what she'd do. I am then invited into the living room, which varies from baronial splendor to Ethan Allen interchangeable, depending on how "old" the money is. She gestures me to the couch, where I promptly sink three feet into the cushions, transformed into a five-year-old dwarfed by mountains of chintz. She looms above me, ramrod straight in a very uncomfortable-looking chair, legs crossed, tight smile.
Now we begin the actual Interview. I awkwardly place my sweating glass of water carefully on a coaster that looks as if it could use a coaster. She is clearly reeling with pleasure at my sheer Caucasianness.
"So," she begins brightly, "how did you come to the Parents League?"
This is the only part of the Interview that resembles a professional exchange. We will dance around certain words, such as "nanny" and "child care," because they would be distasteful and we will never, ever, actually acknowledge that we are talking about my working for her. This is the Holy Covenant of the Mother/Nanny relationship: this is a pleasure--not a job. We are merely "getting to know each other," much as how I imagine a John and a call girl must make the deal, while trying not to kill the mood.
The closest we get to the possibility that I might actually be doing this for money is the topic of my baby-sitting experience, which I describe as a passionate hobby, much like raising Seeing Eye dogs for the blind. As the conversation progresses I become a child-development expert--convincing both of us of my desire to fulfill my very soul by raising a child and taking part in all stages of his/her development; a simple trip to the park or museum becoming a precious journey of the heart. I cite amusing anecdotes from past gigs, referring to the children by name--"I still marvel at the cognitive growth of Constance with each hour we spent together in the sandbox." I feel my eyes twinkle and imagine twirling my umbrella a la Mary Poppins. We both sit in silence for a moment picturing my studio apartment crowded with framed finger paintings and my doctorates from Stanford.
She stares at me expectantly, ready for me to bring it on home. "I love children! I love little hands and little shoes and peanut butter sandwiches and peanut butter in my hair and Elmo--I love Elmo and sand in my purse and the "Hokey Pokey"--can't get enough of it!--and soy milk and blankies and the endless barrage of questions no one knows the answers to, I mean why is the sky blue? And Disney! Disney is my second language!"
We can both hear "A Whole New World" slowly swelling in the background as I earnestly convey that it would be more than a privilege to take care of her child--it would be an adventure.
She is flushed, but still playing it close to the chest. Now she wants to know why, if I'm so fabulous, I would want to take care of her child. I mean, she gave birth to it and she doesn't want to do it, so why would I? Am I trying to pay off an abortion? Fund a leftist group? How did she get this lucky? She wants to know what I study, what I plan to do in the future, what I think of private schools in Manhattan, what my parents do. I answer with as much filigree and insouciance as I can muster, trying to slightly cock my head like Snow White listening to the animals. She, in turn, is aiming for more of a Diane-Sawyer-pose, looking for answers which will confirm that I am not there to steal her husband, jewelry, friends, or child. In that order.
Nanny Fact: in every one of my interviews, references are never checked. I am white. I speak French. My parents are college educated. I have no visible piercings and have been to Lincoln Center in the last two months. I'm hired.
Copyright 2002 by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus
The Interview
Every season of my nanny career kicked off with a round of interviews so surreally similar that I'd often wonder if the mothers were slipped a secret manual at the Parents League to guide them through. This initial encounter became as repetitive as religious ritual, tempting me, in the moment before the front door swung open, either to kneel and genuflect or say, "Hit it!"
No other event epitomized the job as perfectly, and it always began and ended in an elevator nicer than most New Yorkers' apartments.
***
The walnut-paneled car slowly pulls me up, like a bucket in a well, toward potential solvency. As I near the appointed floor I take a deep breath; the door slides open onto a small vestibule which is the portal to, at most, two apartments. I press the doorbell.
Nanny Fact: she always waits for me to ring the doorbell, even though she was buzzed by maximum security downstairs to warn of my imminent arrival and is probably standing on the other side of the door. May, in fact, have been standing there since we spoke on the telephone three days ago.
The dark vestibule, wallpapered in some gloomy Colefax and Fowler floral, always contains a brass umbrella stand, a horse print, and a mirror, wherein I do one last swift check of my appearance. I seem to have grown stains on my skirt during the train ride from school, but otherwise I'm pulled together--twin set, floral skirt, and some Gucci-knockoff sandals I bought in the Village. She is always tiny. Her hair is always straight and thin; she always seems to be inhaling and never exhaling. She is always wearing expensive khaki pants, Chanel ballet flats, a French striped Tshirt, and a white cardigan. Possibly some discreet pearls. In seven years and umpteen interviews the I'm-momcasual-in-my-khakis-but-intimidating-in-my-$400-shoes outfit never changes. And it is simply impossible to imagine her doing anything so undignified as what was required to get her pregnant in the first place.
Her eyes go directly to the splot on my skirt. I blush. I haven't even opened my mouth and already I'm behind.
She ushers me into the front hall, an open space with a gleaming marble floor and mushroom-gray walls. In the middle is a round table with a vase of flowers that look as if they might die, but never dare wilt.
This is my first impression of the Apartment and it strikes me like a hotel suite--immaculate, but impersonal. Even the lone finger painting I will later find taped to the fridge looks as if it were ordered from a catalog. (Sub-Zeros with a custom-colored panel aren't magnetized.)
She offers to take my cardigan, stares disdainfully at the hair my cat seems to have rubbed on it for good luck, and offers me a drink.
I'm supposed to say, "Water would be lovely," but am often tempted to ask for a Scotch, just to see what she'd do. I am then invited into the living room, which varies from baronial splendor to Ethan Allen interchangeable, depending on how "old" the money is. She gestures me to the couch, where I promptly sink three feet into the cushions, transformed into a five-year-old dwarfed by mountains of chintz. She looms above me, ramrod straight in a very uncomfortable-looking chair, legs crossed, tight smile.
Now we begin the actual Interview. I awkwardly place my sweating glass of water carefully on a coaster that looks as if it could use a coaster. She is clearly reeling with pleasure at my sheer Caucasianness.
"So," she begins brightly, "how did you come to the Parents League?"
This is the only part of the Interview that resembles a professional exchange. We will dance around certain words, such as "nanny" and "child care," because they would be distasteful and we will never, ever, actually acknowledge that we are talking about my working for her. This is the Holy Covenant of the Mother/Nanny relationship: this is a pleasure--not a job. We are merely "getting to know each other," much as how I imagine a John and a call girl must make the deal, while trying not to kill the mood.
The closest we get to the possibility that I might actually be doing this for money is the topic of my baby-sitting experience, which I describe as a passionate hobby, much like raising Seeing Eye dogs for the blind. As the conversation progresses I become a child-development expert--convincing both of us of my desire to fulfill my very soul by raising a child and taking part in all stages of his/her development; a simple trip to the park or museum becoming a precious journey of the heart. I cite amusing anecdotes from past gigs, referring to the children by name--"I still marvel at the cognitive growth of Constance with each hour we spent together in the sandbox." I feel my eyes twinkle and imagine twirling my umbrella a la Mary Poppins. We both sit in silence for a moment picturing my studio apartment crowded with framed finger paintings and my doctorates from Stanford.
She stares at me expectantly, ready for me to bring it on home. "I love children! I love little hands and little shoes and peanut butter sandwiches and peanut butter in my hair and Elmo--I love Elmo and sand in my purse and the "Hokey Pokey"--can't get enough of it!--and soy milk and blankies and the endless barrage of questions no one knows the answers to, I mean why is the sky blue? And Disney! Disney is my second language!"
We can both hear "A Whole New World" slowly swelling in the background as I earnestly convey that it would be more than a privilege to take care of her child--it would be an adventure.
She is flushed, but still playing it close to the chest. Now she wants to know why, if I'm so fabulous, I would want to take care of her child. I mean, she gave birth to it and she doesn't want to do it, so why would I? Am I trying to pay off an abortion? Fund a leftist group? How did she get this lucky? She wants to know what I study, what I plan to do in the future, what I think of private schools in Manhattan, what my parents do. I answer with as much filigree and insouciance as I can muster, trying to slightly cock my head like Snow White listening to the animals. She, in turn, is aiming for more of a Diane-Sawyer-pose, looking for answers which will confirm that I am not there to steal her husband, jewelry, friends, or child. In that order.
Nanny Fact: in every one of my interviews, references are never checked. I am white. I speak French. My parents are college educated. I have no visible piercings and have been to Lincoln Center in the last two months. I'm hired.
Copyright 2002 by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus
From AudioFile
Dysfunctional family life among the upper crust of Manhattan's Upper East Side is held up to a magnifying lens, and it is not pretty. Written broadly and relying on stereotypes, still, it makes for a fascinating, engaging, and ultimately sad story. The writing voice suggests a protagonist who is sensitive, caring, vulnerable, and eager to please; unfortunately Roberts fails to capture this, coming across instead as flat, matter-of-fact, and self-assured. The accents she attempts are unrecognizable and inconsistent and prove distracting. Breezy with touches of humor and pathos, this story makes for good listening despite an out-of-sync narration. E.S. © AudioFile 2002, Portland, Maine-- Copyright © AudioFile, Portland, Maine
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
