The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart [Paperback]

 

 

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I am a clinical psychologist with a lot of experience working with families and parenting issues, and I have seldom read a book with as much profound insight and practical value as "The Natural Child." It is one of those rare books which is transformational in nature. If only parents dealing with complicated and unfortunate difficulties with older children could have read this book before they got started - I might be out of a job. In a marvelously clear, respectful, and direct fashion the author brings to light the simple, common sense principle(s) and practices for helping children grow with a strong sense of inner worth, dynamic creativity, and solid inner happiness, all characteristics of those rare and exceptional individuals Abraham Maslow refers to as "self-actualized."
How do happy, productive, and caring individuals get that way? What is the principle? In its most elementary form the author asserts it is nothing other than the wisdom of the Golden Rule itself applied to our most important responsibility - helping our children realize their full dynamic and creative potential - helping them grow with an unshakable appreciation for the magnificent miracle that human life truly is. Indeed, this is what all parents want.
It's a matter of gold or garbage. The heart of an impressionable newborn is like an empty emotional vessel, completely innocent and fully magnificent in its potential, but containing as yet no emotional resentments, no disturbance, and no negative patterns or destructive pathologies resorted to in later years to try and cope with an inner sense of "something missing" or with unconscious emotional scars. These diversions happen, (you name it - addictions, crime, emotional disorders, and so on... ), when the experience of being fully loved as a child is found in some way to be less than it should have been. These inner, emotional patterns and realities are the ones that get fixed first in life and are the deepest - the ones most powerful in terms of influencing behavior and experience throughout the remainder of life. When little hearts are filled with gold, gold is what you get. Filled with garbage, garbage is what you get.
According to the author, the gold is meeting the real and legitimate needs of children, as nature intended - the vital need for unconditional love which encompasses all the following: having a child's innate desire to live and do right be trusted, the experience of full joyousness with life, the freedom to explore interests, a strong sense of individual worth, loving and positive interaction with parents and others, and the right nourishment, both physical and emotional. The garbage is anything less than that, all the "half-truths" and often confusing alternatives. Unfortunately, in today's society, the garbage is too often mistaken for the gold.
For example, many today still believe that some form of punishment is necessary to create good values and behavior. Some think it gold, but what an unfortunate fallacy. The author explains this so clearly that given a little honesty and open-mindedness it can't be missed. "Punishment, threats, and humiliation never achieve long-term goals because they provoke anger, create resentment, and diminish the bond between parent and child." The author offers practical and growth-oriented alternatives - what to do instead. Again, some believe that allowing infants to "cry it out" is gold because it develops character or some such thing - but it is fools gold only. "In all innocence, a baby assumes that we, her parents, are correct -whatever we do is what we ought to be doing. If we do nothing, the baby can only conclude that she is unloved because she is unlovable." Again, practical and healthy alternatives are provided. Or, that co-sleeping with your children has inherent risks, isn't right somehow, or may spoil an infant. However, "Cribs force babies to face the long night alone years before they are psychologically equipped to do so. Isolation teaches harmful messages of mistrust, forced "co-operation" through despair, and instills a deep sense of loneliness that no teddy bear can fulfill." Again, all the initial doubts and practical considerations about family co-sleeping are covered. And these are only examples.
The remarkable value of this book lies in its ability to shed light on and reinforce much of what already exists in the heart of the parent, but may not be clear enough to act upon. In this sense, her work truly advocates perfectly "natural" parenting, freeing parents from societal misconceptions and expectations and pointing the way for parenting to be a process guided by the deepest levels of one's own heart. It dispels the confusion about what full and unconditional love is and really means, and provides abundant practical advice on how to hold that wholly vital principle as the only viable principle for raising happy children - real, genuine, and brilliantly glowing gold.
I'm not just recommending this book. I implore you to read it and share what you gained with those young or expecting families you care about. In a world which in many ways has signs for hope, this book is ahead of its time. It is the parenting of an enlightened future. It ought to be required reading in school. On the five star system provided, I give "The Natural Child" a full ten stars.
I should also mention that the author, Jan Hunt, offers telephone counseling and maintains a comprehensive and highly respected website. See "The Natural Child Project." It contains a wealth of excellent information and articles from a variety of relevant authors.

Let nature be the guide for raising your child. The advice is so simple and so obvious, yet many of us have lost sight due to the daily bombardment of information regarding "normal" child development. In a world where it's easy for parents to get bogged down in their efforts to mold children into perfect people, this book is like a breath of fresh air. Children are already perfect. They just need to be nurtured and allowed to develop to their full potential. I sincerely hope that the children raised today by the standards of Jan Hunt, will turn out to be the leaders of the next generation. It will be one step closer to a world where kindness and compassion come as our first instinct.

This book reminded me of a college term paper. Lots of quoting other sources, disjointed flow, jumping back and forth between theory and practice unexpectedly. It does a lot of ranting about the damage bad parenting can do.

It present arguments for co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and homeschooling and against the use of punishments. I already agree with those ideas, but I found the book had only limitedand overly simplistic advice on how to move forward with those principles. Maybe this book has more value for an academic or social worker. As a parent i found it unhelpful and full of negativity.

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5.0 out of 5 stars Jan Hunt's parenting paradigm offers lifelong connection
The Natural Child captures in practical terms the essence of parenting from the heart: identifying the needs and feelings of a child and respectfully working with a child towards... Read more

Published on May 11 2004 by Andrea Sabatino

5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for ALL adults ever in contact with children!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Jan!

This book has changed my life.
Having read literally hundreds of books, magazines and articles about AP/Gentle Discipline, I... Read more

Published on May 8 2004 by crunchytamara

5.0 out of 5 stars Collection of insightful well written essays about children
I found this book through my local AP group. The group's bookclub read it, and gave it rave reviews. Read more

Published on April 28 2004 by Inez Vanderburg

5.0 out of 5 stars The Natural Child, Parenting From The Heart
Reading this book opened my eyes to a whole new world of parenting and finding happiness in it. It was given to me as a gift after the birth of my fourth child, and I wish... Read more

Published on Mar 12 2004 by Tammie Lea Olson

5.0 out of 5 stars The BEST parenting book out there
A must read for all parents...This book was like a breath of fresh air! What a joy to hear a parent talking about being on the same team as your child. Read more

Published on Nov 20 2003 by Thom S. Kennedy

5.0 out of 5 stars The book your children would most want you to read
Jan Hunt's 'The Natural Child' is a timely and important classic belonging to a trend towards more compassionate, respectful and scientifically-informed parenting. Read more

Published on Jun 25 2003 by Robin Grille, psychologist, author

5.0 out of 5 stars Basic and warm
Having seen this book mentioned in several places, I decided to see what all the talk was about. My judgment is that it is lovingly and carefully written, imploring the reader... Read more

Published on Jun 14 2003 by galaseller

5.0 out of 5 stars The Heart of Childhood
The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart is refreshing, well written and full of important insight about parenthood and childhood. Read more

Published on Feb 16 2003 by Andrea L. Sutton

5.0 out of 5 stars The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart
This is one parenting book that will find a place in my personal library. Not very many books recieve that honor. Read more

Published on Jan 2 2003 by E. Behnke

5.0 out of 5 stars All Parents Should Read This Book!
As a first-time parent, I wholeheartedly recommend Jan Hunt's "The Natural Child" to new and experienced parents alike. Read more

Published on Dec 6 2002 by kachja

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