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The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation [Paperback]

Melody Beattie
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
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Book Description

Dec 29 2009
In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. Now Beattie has written a followup volume, The New Codependency, which clears up misconceptions about codependency, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.

The question remains: What is and what is not codependency? Beattie here reminds us that much of codependency is normal behavior. It's about crossing lines. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. Feeling resentment after giving is not the same as heartfelt generosity. Narcissism and self-love, enabling and nurturing, and controlling and setting boundaries are not interchangeable terms. In The New Codependency, Beattie explores these differences, effectively invoking her own inspiring story and those of others, to empower us to step out of the victim role forever. Codependency, she shows, is not an illness but rather a series of behaviors that once broken down and analyzed can be successfully combated.

Each section offers an overview of and a series of activities pertaining to a particular behavior -- caretaking, controlling, manipulation, denial, repression, etc. -- enabling us to personalize our own step-bystep guide to wellness. These sections, in conjunction with a series of tests allowing us to assess the level of our codependent behavior, demonstrate that while it may not seem possible now, we have the power to take care of ourselves, no matter what we are experiencing.

Punctuated with Beattie's renowned candor and intuitive wisdom, The New Codependency is an owner's manual to learning to be who we are and gives us the tools necessary to reclaim our lives by renouncing unhealthy practices.


Frequently Bought Together

The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation + Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself + The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series
Price For All Three: CDN$ 40.05

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  • Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself CDN$ 13.36

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Review

"'Codependent' is in the dictionary because of Melody Beattie. Her book is required reading." -- Christine Stapleton, Palm Beach Post

About the Author

Melody Beattie, one of the seminal figures in the recovery movement, is the author of the international bestseller Codependent No More, which has sold over eight million copies and been translated into more than a dozen languages. An expert on codependency, Beattie has written fifteen books, including include Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, and The Grief Club, and lectures worldwide. She lives in Southern California. For more information visit her website at www.melodybeattie.com.

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Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Nicely written Nov 23 2012
By Leoni
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I have gone just a bit over half of this book and I have to say it is really helping me to understand why I am the way I am, and that I should be aware of the decisions I make to help people, and when they don't accept my help in the way that I want them to.. to keep my cool and understand why and how to act. This is the first book I read and I recommend this for anyone struggling with the same situation. I am actually stuck between 2 family members that I constantly try to help.. a Mother who is an alcoholic and a Brother who is a recovering drug addict that falls off the wagon. I'm a young successful business women that uses my work to hide my feelings in and ignore what I feel.. I am just learning to listen to myself with this book. Thank you!
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Amazon.com: 4.4 out of 5 stars  83 reviews
119 of 123 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great addition to the topic Sep 21 2009
By Holly K - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover
"The New Codependency" is the newest addition to the volume of work published by Melody Beattie. She was one of the first to identify codependency as a problem and provide information on the subject to a large audience of readers. The first book she wrote, "Codependent No More", was originally published in 1987. This book does not replace that one, it just expands on the topic and adds additional insight to the problem of codependency.

If you are new to the subject and just getting familiar with it, I would definitely recommend you start with "Codependent No More". After you are further along in your journey, this book makes a lot of sense but I don't think it is the right place to start. It really builds upon the concepts presented in the first book and there is a subtlety to it that is best appreciated after having done some work in this area already.

As in all her books, I need to sit with a highlighter and use it freely. I also dog ear pages as I go for quick reference back when I need to review. I read it straight through and then went back and took some of the quizzes offered which was really helpful. After reading it once, it is definitely not going back on the book shelf. There are a lot of activities outlined to do to help the reader address and access issues he/she is dealing with. It is almost as if there is a workbook contained within its pages. I will continue to use it as a reference/workbook for many months to come, I am sure.

Anyone who has identified themselves as a codependent (or is dealing with a codependent) will benefit greatly from this book. She conveys her message is a loving, caring way versus a list of "shoulds" which is exactly what a codependent needs. A couple of my favorite passages:

"We're giving to get. We give to get people to need us because we don't feel loveable. Caretaking attaches people to us, creating dependent relationships."

"Another communication problem is draining energy or power from someone under the guise of "talking." People may act like they want to have a conversation with us, but many people with codependency issues use conversation as a way to get us to take care of them."

The two books truly are the gold standard on this topic.
74 of 78 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A helpful update of ideas May 19 2009
By PJ - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Presents a needed update on thinking regarding codependency. This book addressed many of the problems I've had with the concepts of "codependency" over the years. Activities and quizzes give reader a way to put ideas into action in their lives. Probably not for someone new to Melody Beattie's work or learning about codependency in general - start at the beginning with Codependent No More or the daily readers. A strong addition to Melody's library.
30 of 32 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful book for the codependency issues that keep lingering after many books May 26 2010
By Evin - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
After reading Women Who Love too Much, Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency, I still felt had unsolved issues and unanswered questions. This book answered them all! My realization of its success was after months when I realized its positive super effect on me. I watched my gradual behaviour change which made me a happier person. The friends who I passed this book over also feel relieved about their unsolved and leftout issues after reading it. I advise it to everyone who feel they need to read a bit more about Codependency...
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