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The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation Paperback – Dec 29 2009

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The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation + Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself + The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series
Price For All Three: CDN$ 41.50

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1 Reprint edition (Dec 29 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1439102147
  • ISBN-13: 978-1439102145
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 2 x 21.4 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 318 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #4,218 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description


"'Codependent' is in the dictionary because of Melody Beattie. Her book is required reading." -- Christine Stapleton, Palm Beach Post

About the Author

Melody Beattie, one of the seminal figures in the recovery movement, is the author of the international bestseller Codependent No More, which has sold over eight million copies and been translated into more than a dozen languages. An expert on codependency, Beattie has written fifteen books, including include Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, and The Grief Club, and lectures worldwide. She lives in Southern California. For more information visit her website at

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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Leoni on Nov. 23 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have gone just a bit over half of this book and I have to say it is really helping me to understand why I am the way I am, and that I should be aware of the decisions I make to help people, and when they don't accept my help in the way that I want them to.. to keep my cool and understand why and how to act. This is the first book I read and I recommend this for anyone struggling with the same situation. I am actually stuck between 2 family members that I constantly try to help.. a Mother who is an alcoholic and a Brother who is a recovering drug addict that falls off the wagon. I'm a young successful business women that uses my work to hide my feelings in and ignore what I feel.. I am just learning to listen to myself with this book. Thank you!
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Format: MP3 CD Verified Purchase
I was interested in the subject matter but found the narration to be not to my taste and difficult to suffer through. I suggest people listen to a sample before going ahead to purchase. I wish I had simply gotten the kindle edition and had the google auto voice lady read it.
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By Alissa Greer on June 13 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Really great book. I didn't read the first book and this book still helped me. All of the activities and quizzes are also really helpful.
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By R-S on Feb. 15 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The content was great but the cover was upside down compared to the text content of the book. But still good.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 182 reviews
184 of 189 people found the following review helpful
Great addition to the topic Sept. 21 2009
By Holly - Published on
Format: Hardcover
"The New Codependency" is the newest addition to the volume of work published by Melody Beattie. She was one of the first to identify codependency as a problem and provide information on the subject to a large audience of readers. The first book she wrote, "Codependent No More", was originally published in 1987. This book does not replace that one, it just expands on the topic and adds additional insight to the problem of codependency.

If you are new to the subject and just getting familiar with it, I would definitely recommend you start with "Codependent No More". After you are further along in your journey, this book makes a lot of sense but I don't think it is the right place to start. It really builds upon the concepts presented in the first book and there is a subtlety to it that is best appreciated after having done some work in this area already.

As in all her books, I need to sit with a highlighter and use it freely. I also dog ear pages as I go for quick reference back when I need to review. I read it straight through and then went back and took some of the quizzes offered which was really helpful. After reading it once, it is definitely not going back on the book shelf. There are a lot of activities outlined to do to help the reader address and access issues he/she is dealing with. It is almost as if there is a workbook contained within its pages. I will continue to use it as a reference/workbook for many months to come, I am sure.

Anyone who has identified themselves as a codependent (or is dealing with a codependent) will benefit greatly from this book. She conveys her message is a loving, caring way versus a list of "shoulds" which is exactly what a codependent needs. A couple of my favorite passages:

"We're giving to get. We give to get people to need us because we don't feel loveable. Caretaking attaches people to us, creating dependent relationships."

"Another communication problem is draining energy or power from someone under the guise of "talking." People may act like they want to have a conversation with us, but many people with codependency issues use conversation as a way to get us to take care of them."

The two books truly are the gold standard on this topic.
96 of 100 people found the following review helpful
A helpful update of ideas May 19 2009
By PJ - Published on
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Presents a needed update on thinking regarding codependency. This book addressed many of the problems I've had with the concepts of "codependency" over the years. Activities and quizzes give reader a way to put ideas into action in their lives. Probably not for someone new to Melody Beattie's work or learning about codependency in general - start at the beginning with Codependent No More or the daily readers. A strong addition to Melody's library.
51 of 55 people found the following review helpful
Very Helpful book for the codependency issues that keep lingering after many books May 26 2010
By Evin - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
After reading Women Who Love too Much, Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency, I still felt had unsolved issues and unanswered questions. This book answered them all! My realization of its success was after months when I realized its positive super effect on me. I watched my gradual behaviour change which made me a happier person. The friends who I passed this book over also feel relieved about their unsolved and leftout issues after reading it. I advise it to everyone who feel they need to read a bit more about Codependency...
29 of 30 people found the following review helpful
A new take on helpful ideas Jan. 11 2012
By Lauren Bastaparis - Published on
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have always been a fan of Melody Beattie's work, and I have benefited enormously from it since the old days of Codependent No More. I have not been in a relationship with someone addicted, but I nevertheless recognized myself in the description of the Codependent. There were so many similarities: not being able to take care of myself, obsessing about other people, taking care of everyone's needs (apart from my own, that is), not having boundaries. I seemed to be a textbook codependent, except that I did not get involved with alcoholics. So I just went along with what she had to say and read several of her books.

The New Codependency is one of the best ones. It has all the usual qualities of her work:

*She uses an empowering tone: of course you can make it. And to be honest, when she describes her life of a former junkie, you cannot help thinking: well, if she managed to get out of this mess, Surely I can get out of mine.
*Her book is packed with examples. The fact of the matter is, I can see problems and solutions so much more easily when I read about someone else. Examples allow me to do that.
*There is a lot of practical, down to earth advice. I cannot count the number of books I've read which describe my dreadful problems, but then leave me there with a vague "well I guess you need therapy" chapter. I hate it. Don't talk to me about my issues if you are not able to offer one hint of advice on how to solve them.

In The New Codependency, Melody Beattie tackles important concepts she wrote about before (boundaries, taking care of oneself, deprivation, control...), but with a higher level of maturity . Because she does not go back to the basics, I would advise not to read this book without reading first her earlier work. If you have, then it provides additional hindsight and a wiser point of view.

There are also new ideas. She insists to de-stigmatize codependency, explaining that it is just "normal behaviours, plus", that it is just a stage of grief - and I must say I find this new idea really interesting. There is a chapter about nurturing that I liked - she did not write about it earlier because she did not know what it was. And there is a whole section about emotions that I found really useful - I am one of these folks who have difficulties simply feeling.
29 of 33 people found the following review helpful
My life will never be the same! Jan. 23 2011
By C. Parrott - Published on
Format: Hardcover
I was new to dealing with codependency when I got this book and another by another author. I never finished the other book, and am now reading Melody's for the 2nd time.(in 2 weeks)I don't even know where to begin on how amazing this book is. How much she helped me to understand about myself. She has a way of explaining things to you where you understand. Friends and doctors have told me the same things for years, but reading her book put it all together for me. This book helped me to see that I am ok just the way I am. To love myself. To stop hating my past and present self. I have this new amazing content peaceful feeling that I have never known before. I have my life back, and maybe for the first time ever. It feels amazing! I don't feel alone anymore. I don't feel like a crazy weirdo anymore.