on March 31, 2009
My 23-month-old (still breastfed) son has just now started sleeping through from 8:30 pm to 7 am, every night. He's sleeping well because he's happy, comforted, comfortable, and secure - not out of exhaustion & frustration. We never did "let him cry it out", and were convinced there had to be a gentle, loving way to help him learn to sleep well - there is, and this book shows you how. I think this book has a lot to offer every sleep-deprived parent - co-sleeping or not, breast or bottle-fed - without making value judgements.
I can't say enough about the "No-cry sleep solution". I'm certain that I'd still be waking up 4-5 times a night with my son now (as I did for the first 20 months of his life) if it weren't for this book (the original or "toddler" version - I've read both). If you're looking for a loving & gentle alternative to chronic sleep-deprivation of the worst order, without any crying (for you or your child), this book is a great choice.
This book was recommended to me by an expert board-certified lactation consultant who I know & trust very well. She specifically commented that this book is compatible/realistic in expectations regarding breastfed babies, where she didn't feel that some other books, like "Baby Whisperer" are (and I agree with her on that).
Just to show how far we've come in three months, thanks to this book: I'm still breastfeeding my son, just not during the night. He understands this, and is OK with it (he says "Milk in the morning" with a smile as we get him ready for bed in the evening). After we finish cuddling & reading in the evening, he *asks* to go into his bed, where he clearly feels cozy and happy. He asks to hold hands with me for just a few minutes, then he lets go (while still awake), and I sit with him until he falls asleep, usually 10 minutes or so. He's asleep by 8:30 pm, and wakes up at 7 am, calling out "Mummy? Good morning Mummy!", rested and smiling (he *always* used to wake up crying, and was still quite obviously tired, but I think he just didn't know how to go back to sleep). We cuddle & he nurses first thing when he wakes up, and then we're ready to start the day. Now I'm sleeping enough that I can even get up and - gasp - have a shower and be dressed before he wakes up, so our morning routine to get out of the house is a lot faster & easier. And my husband and I are back in our own bed together, yay! I'm a much nicer & more patient Mummy with a decent night's sleep, and my son is very happy & well-rested now too.
on May 25, 2002
I was desperate and this book saved me. My 15 month old was waking up every 2 hours every single night. He wouldn't nap more than 20 minutes. I was seriously sleep-deprived.
I let my first baby cry it out 4 years ago - it took 5 weeks and she would cry for hours at a time, and I cried too. And then we had to do it over again after teething or a cold or a vacation. I still regret it, but back then I didn't think I had any other choice. But now there was no way I would go through that torture again, so I suffered through 15 months of sleeplessness instead.
A friend gave me The No Cry Sleep Solution 4 weeks ago and we have made incredible progress! My baby falls asleep so much easier and wakes up only once. He takes a 2-hour nap, too.
I love that this book doesn't assume that all babies - or all parents - are alike. It gives a tremendous variety of ideas to choose from. It covers every possible aspect of baby sleep - from routines, to habits, to the sleep environment, to creating sleep-cues, to reading your baby's sleepy signals.
The chapter on Basic Sleep Facts taught me all I needed to know about my baby's sleep problems, without being overly long or technical. I like that the reader creates a personal sleep plan from the many ideas in the book, and I like that the author doesn't dictate one right way. You can be a co-sleeper or a crib-sleeper, a breastfeeder or a bottle feeder, use a pacifier or not - she respects all your choices and gives you ideas to work within the range of your own comfort zone.
The tone is compassionate and caring, like reading a letter from a kind and wise friend. I plan to give this book as a shower gift and new baby gift every chance I get. No one should suffer through sleepless nights OR crying it out - this book is the absolute answer to gentle baby sleep -- and better mommy and daddy sleep, too. (There's even a chapter on how adults can get better sleep too.)
If your baby is keeping you up at night this is the smartest [money] you could ever spend. ZZZZZZZZ
on January 14, 2014
As many parents who have a child with sleeping problems know, there are two basic schools of thoughts when it comes to "teaching" your child how to sleep - the "cry-it-out" school, and the attached parenting school. I have a strong conviction against using any methods that would cause the baby to cry unnecessarily, and have been reading many books from the no-cry "camp." What has been disappointing and distressing to me as a parent is that there are quite a few books from the no-cry camp that do not really make any concrete suggestions and tips as to what parents need to do to assist the baby in sleeping longer and sleeping un-interrupted. They go into extensive length either to explain to you why "cry it out" methods are harmful for the babies, or to encourage you to use your parental instincts to do "what feels right." As first-time parents who are starving to sleep, however, your instincts are foggy at best, and your mind just cannot tell you what needs to be done.
Pantley does a great job in first laying out in very straight-forward, but factual terms, the way babies sleep. It was extremely helpful to learn that a lot of the "problems" we are experiencing are actually quite normal, and as parents, our expectations need to be adjusted according to the developmental stages of the child. Pantley then goes on to provide an arsenal of tips and solutions, and offers a template where you can pick and choose the tips and strategies that fit your parental style, into a gentle, progressive, and thorough plan that would assist your child to eventually grow into a healthier sleep pattern that works for the baby and the family.
While it is still a bit of a struggle for my wife and I to help our child sleep through the night, the tips listed by Pentley are very helpful in moving us along. Things are slowly improving, and our baby, who was devastated through 19 days of sleep training, is now a happy child who is slowly but progressively learning how to sleep most nights. I would highly recommend this book, along with Anni Gethin's "Helping Baby Sleep," and Pinky McKay's "Sleeping Like a Baby" to any parents who are looking for a gentle, peaceful, and loving way to grow with your child.
on June 5, 2003
I've read the two popular sleep books by male doctors and was very dissapointed - they don't seem to understand what's in a mother's heart. It's easy for them to advise a parent to let a baby cry from a distance, but so hard to implement it when every pore in your body screams that it's wrong -- when it is the little love of your life who is crying desperately. Ms. Pantley is a mother and a woman. She has had four babies, and she truly understands that while sleep is important, letting your baby cry is impossible for some of us, as it was for her. Her book is an answer to my prayers. It is filled with kind, loving ideas that feel right to me. I am only a week into it but am already seeing improvement in my baby's sleeping, and I am amazed that it is happening without any crying at all. I have also learned so much about my baby's sleep, that I was able to clearly understand why he hasn't been sleeping well. I plan to give this book to every pregnant friend of mine, since my only wish is that I would have bought it sooner.
on January 27, 2010
A couple weeks ago, my 10 month-old daughter was waking me up every hour and a half, every night... Each time, I had to breastfeed her and try to put her to bed without awaking her. It could take me about 4 tries (1 hour) to succeed, 4 to 5 times every night. The last night before buying The No-cry Sleep Solution, I slept 4 hours, in 4 parts, leaving me exhausted and crying in the morning. I NEEDED to do something, but was completely against the idea of letting my daughter cry.
Then I found THE book to help me. Elizabeth Pantley's No-cry Sleep Solution proposes sensible and sensitive tips to improve both your child's sleep and yours. Very respectful and sympathetic to our sleep-deprivation status, the autor helps us recognize the possible causes of this sleep problem and find the appropriate solutions for ourselves. The book is then suitable for many family situations (from breastfeeded babies, or families practicing co-sleeping, to toddler sleeping in their own bed).
As for myself, I saw a big improvement in only a few nights. My baby now goes to bed earlier, wakes up only once or twice during the night, and I am able to put her back in her bed at the first or, at worst, second try. She didn't have to cry a single minute, and this was achieved only by using minor amendments to our usual sleep routine. I am now looking forward to the next step, showing her how to fall asleep by herself and enjoying a complete night of sleep! I am confident we will succeed, because we now have a trusted counselor to support us. Thank you, Elizabeth Pantley!
on March 24, 2004
Just to say how great the "no cry sleep solution" is. I did not discover the book until 2mths ago and what a difference it has made to my sons sleeping habits! My son has been an awful sleeper since birth. He is now 22mths and has gone from;
*having no regular sleep pattern, being breastfed to sleep and waking up to six times a night to be fed
*regular naptime, bedtime routine, falling to sleep with a story and sleeping most nights from 9.30pm to 7.30am.
I could not believe it (especially as he has been a poor sleeper for such a long time). I found the book very interesting to read and the ideas simple to implement. There is a section that tells you how to log progress and I found this a real help with keeping me focused.
I am so happy to find a book which actually looks at the needs of parents and children (rather than just encouraging parents to 'leave' the child to struggle with sleep). My only regret is that I didn't find the book earlier and could have saved myself, husband and most importantly, son from struggling with sleep issues for so long.
on March 1, 2003
I consider the techniques discussed in this book to be simplistic, tedious and difficult to achieve. Pantley's techniques rely on fasing out learned behavior rather than on extinction of learned behavior which works best (especially after a vacation or holiday). I suggest reading Marc Weissbluth instead. Two days of putting my 3 month old down in her crib as soon as she showed me her first sleepy signs (rubbing her eyes and looking away), and she falls asleep without crying. Sometimes, she does fuss a bit, but no crying has ever taken place so far. Not even on our first day. My baby has fallen asleep in no more than 5 minutes each and every time. The key is on taking notice of your baby's sleepy signs so your timing is good enough. Forget the sleep log. Observation and timing is key so you can successfully identify when your child NEEDS to sleep, even even if he'd RATHER play with you. Otherwise, you are robbing baby of his need to sleep. Now, 4 days later, when I put her down, she wiggles her legs and smiles as if thanking me for noticing how tired she is; falls asleep within 2 minutes. "A well rested child is a happy one," period. Simplicity helps your child sleep best. Why complicate things? My point: read Weissbluth instead.
on February 25, 2003
If you are looking for some sleep, BUY IT NOW!!! This book puts your baby's needs first, unlike the 'Cry it out' method. But, it also recognizes that Mommy needs rest too and tells you how to acheive that rest while still tending to the needs of your precious baby. No crying required (for Mommy or Baby)!!!
This book is the best thing I've come across. Like so many other Mothers, my baby was still waking all night long. In fact, my baby was waking every hour on the hour! And, he had to be nursed to/back to sleep for each and every nap and all night long. I don't have to tell you how tiring this was.
I did so much research and only saw 2 ways to deal with it, 'Cry it Out' and 'Live with it'. Well, that is untill some great mothers over at the Babycenter.com message boards recommended that I try this book. So, I gave it a shot. It was the best 11 bucks I have ever spent in my life!!!
Christopher is now sleeping from 8:30 pm until around 2:30 am! He goes to sleep at 6:30 pm and wakes for a 'milkie' at 8:30 pm. Then, he is out until 2:30 am!!! I know he wakes and settles himself several times during that 6 hour stretch. After the 2:30 am feeding, he is normally out till around 6:30 am!!!
Christopher is also sleeping in his crib now, which is beside my bed. I have only been using this sleep plan for 10 days and look at the success. The success started on the 3rd night. I started seeing him be able to sleep longer and longer. And, now he is even able, sometimes, to fall alseep on his own!
Elizabeth Pantley is a God send! She has children of her own (4) and has actually used these techniques on her own baby. This book is the top of my list for a gift for any new Mom. I wish someone would have told me of this book 7 months ago.
Thank you Elizabeth! You have changed my life!
on November 15, 2002
A refreshing alternative to the "quick fix" and damaging cry-it-out approaches that have been so popular of late. This is the first book I've read (and believe me, I've read a shelfload in the effort to get some shuteye) that works *with* a baby's natural and necessary tendencies instead of against them. Pantley offers real-life solutions, with real-life feedback from real-life moms. She acknowledges the uniqueness of all babies as well as the patterns that are typical to most, and offers a menu of possible things to try. This is the book for the informed parent who wants to know *why* her baby is having trouble sleeping, wants to know how to help her without damaging the parental/child bond, knows there are no ultra-fast magic methods -- and won't fall for the checkout-lane "get your baby to sleep in five easy (cruel and heart-wrenching) steps." This is important stuff and can't be dealt with in 50 pages...so it's well worth your time to read the parts of the book that are relevant to your situation. Highly recommended...by a (now) well rested family!
on November 11, 2002
Finally, a book that really can help the sleep-deprived parents out there teach their babies to sleep better without leaving them alone to cry themselvs to sleep. There is a better way! This book is a detailed, informaive text on normal sleep and baby sleep patterns. It is non-judgemental regarding breast/bottle feeding and other decisions that parents may make. It offers detailed information on developing a customized sleep plan for your own family and each individual baby.
We had tried letting our daughter "cry it out" before with terrible results. Not only didn't it work, but she got so stressed out by it that she suddenly refused to nurse anymore. Needless to say, we were never going to do that to her (or any other child of ours) again. This book offers an alternative. No longer must we choose between sleep-deprivation and "crying it out." Elizabeth's approach is based on a gradual relearning of "sleep-associations" so that your baby will learn to get herself back to sleep without your help, but emphasizes that the baby can learn at her own pace!
For all those desperate parents out there, please give this book a try. You will be sleeping before you know it!