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The Perfect Sister: What Draws Us Together, What Drives Us Apart Paperback – Mar 24 2005


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 300 pages
  • Publisher: Harcourt, Inc.; Reprint edition (March 24 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0156031841
  • ISBN-13: 978-0156031844
  • Product Dimensions: 20.1 x 13.5 x 2.3 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 363 g
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,860,126 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents


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First Sentence
NOW THAT SHE'S in her sixties and starting to think about mortality, Ellie told me she worries about who will die first, her identical twin sister, Emma, or herself: "I'd rather go together." Read the first page
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Most helpful customer reviews

Format: Hardcover
Sisters are a complicated relationship: though they may grow up together, their personalities and perspectives may be totally different. Author Marcia Millman spent hundreds of hours interviewing sisters to examine how their bonds were formed and how they changed throughout life: Perfect Sister considers what makes adult sisters close - or not - and how sister sibling bonds and rifts form.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: 4 reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
The Complex Relationships of Sisters Dec 11 2007
By Geneva Lewis - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
Marcia Millman tackles a emotionally fraught bond- that of sisters. I found her approach intriguing-using oral history, interviewing the sisters separately. The wake-up call for me was seeing how differently the sisters viewed their roles, family, relationships, and even basic details of their family history. This really struck a nerve in my own sister relationship, which I value greatly but has not been without challenges. Her advice to accept your sister's history and to move on from there was valuable. There is no need to set ledgers straight; accept her right to have a different perspective. After reading so many stories, the thread came across- the sister relationship is important in how we view ourselves and our family. It's not just about jealousy and sibling rivalry-at some time it may be one of your only connections to your family, so it's important to study and pay attention to this often-dismissed relationship. Marcia Millman has let her subjects speak, and provided important insight without being overbearing.
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
We All Wish.... April 10 2006
By Cheryl Dellasega - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
Millman doesn't believe "the perfect sister" exists, although she does describe a few who come very close. I found this book a curious mix of discussions about types of sisters (The Outsider Sister, The Wishful Sister)and lengthy biographies of families, rather than siblings. I wanted to read more about the sisters and less about the mothers and fathers who created them because, as the author admits, "sisters play a huge role in our childhood and identities."
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
The Perfect Sister - also great mothers / daughter insights Dec 12 2008
By Christine Grohs - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Paperback
I was given this book by my sister (both of us in our fifties and "close"). It had great insights / suggestions to assure a gret relationship such as to recongize that I am NOT my sister and had very different experiences and feelings about growing up in the same family. I bought a copy for each of my aduly daughters who each have two daughters - so they could be aware of how their mothering impacts the curent and future relationship of thier girls.
6 of 13 people found the following review helpful
Considers what makes adult sisters close July 16 2004
By Midwest Book Review - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
Sisters are a complicated relationship: though they may grow up together, their personalities and perspectives may be totally different. Author Marcia Millman spent hundreds of hours interviewing sisters to examine how their bonds were formed and how they changed throughout life: Perfect Sister considers what makes adult sisters close - or not - and how sister sibling bonds and rifts form.

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