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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
A MUST READ for all Parents, grandparents, caregivers and teachers, Oct 12 2008
This book is fantastic - A MUST READ for all Parents, grandparents, caregivers and teachers. They should give it out to new parents at the hospital. As a new parent I really don't know how to be a "parent". I just go by what I had learned as a child by my own parents. Since I have read this book I now know how babies and children really work and learn and I am so grateful this book was written. It is all based on actual science not just theories. Please read it. It is an easy read and for someone who doesn't have time to read it is perfect.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Hands down the best parenting book I've read in years, Mar 8 2007
This review is from: The Science Of Parenting (Hardcover)
It is a breath of fresh air for people who have decided to parent with their hearts and not their heads. I wish that this book existed years ago when I had my daughter and I felt like so many people around me were being critical of how I chose to parent. Through my own research I came across much of this information but for people without the time and support to do this, "Science of Parenting", puts it all together in one easily accessible book. This book should be given to critics of attachment parenting who have advocated 'crying it out' without real consideration into what effects this advice will have. The strongest, most emotionally available, people I know have themselves been attachment parented. The reverse is also true. Margot Sunderland concisely answer the question, "Why should we feel for and respond to our babies, the most vulnerable of all humans, the ones we profess to love so deeply?" I know so many parents who have been attachment parenting underground because it doesn't conform to North American norms. This finally gives them the proof of knowing that there is a benefit to instinctual parenting. I plan on giving it to every new parent I come across. A million times, thank you for writing this book.
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44 of 48 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
A thought-provoking read, Jun 11 2006
By JonesCarter - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: The Science Of Parenting (Hardcover)
I just bought this book a few days ago, and completely adore it. There are quite a few child-rearing styles out there, from attachment to Ferberizing, and new parents can feel completely overwhelmed with the anecdotes and 'expert advice' thrown their way from every side-- especially when they don't know what effect any of those tactics will have on their little one. This book clears up the mystery by providing scientific research on how an infant's brain is affected by his/her early experiences with you (the parent); namely, it demonstrates that how you respond to the baby's emotions/needs is the biggest component in how they view themselves and the world-- both at the time and decades later, well into adulthood. As the introduction notes, for many years "we have been using child-rearing techniques without awareness of the possible long-term effects, because until now we simply could not see the effects of our actions on a child's developing brain. But with the advances of neuroscience, brain scans, and years of research on the brains of primates and other mammals, we no longer have the innocence of ignorance. For several years, science has been revealing to us that key emotional systems in the human brain are powerfully molded for better or worse by parenting experiences." The serious subject matter might make you worry it's more of a textbook than anything else-- but don't be fooled. The layout of the book makes it exceedingly easy to read and digest, and the photos (which are numerous) are nice and colorful. There are also lots of sidebars and little nuggets of information scattered throughout the pages, which breaks the text up and makes it even easier to read. All in all, this is a top-notch parenting guide, and I say this as someone who owns a LOT of child-rearing books! If I could give "The Science of Parenting" 10 stars, I would.
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fantastic review and synthesis of the literature, April 13 2008
By J. Giles "jgiles" - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: The Science Of Parenting (Hardcover)
I found this book on the discount shelf, and I am so glad that I did! As a trained molecular biologist, I appreciate the author's ability to explain development of neuronal pathways in a way that anyone can understand. I absolutely disagree with the reviewers who indicate that the author excessively asserts her personal opinion. I did not find that to be true at all. In any case, shouldn't people value the opinion of a trained child therapist? Not to mention, this book is not short; are you telling me one should base one's opinion of an entire book on a tiny section regarding the length of time out? That is ludicrous. Regarding a lack of science, I think the reference section allays any fear of that. Maybe the other reviewers missed that part, or maybe they are not used to reading technical, scientific style writing. I can only guess. The fact that the reference section is so extensive is part of why I love this book so much! There is a TON of useful information in this book, but the most important take-home point is that parents must always respond to their babies distress, ALWAYS. Response does not mean the child gets what he or she wants all the time: response means that you help the child deal with his/her emotions. Stress reduction pathways are formed so early in life, and once a child reaches 2 or 3, it is too late to reverse the damage that inattentive parenting can cause. Let's face it, as parents we have a responsibility to our children, like it or not. Wouldn't you rather have the information you need to do your very best for your kids? You don't have to be a scientist to understand how important this information is.
21 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Relevant not only to parents, but for treatment, July 14 2006
By Rex - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: The Science Of Parenting (Hardcover)
As a psychoanalyst I find this book fascinating, not only in terms of parenting my own kids, but in terms of the wider issues of promoting emotional health and well-being. The book gives a solid scientific backing to my responding to my kids' distress, rather than being told I am just indulgent and spoiling. It has also helped me to avoid getting into a submission/dominance clash over tantrums and to realise when one should concede with grace with a child who is distraught and furious in his failure to get through and emotionally connect with his parent. Of course there is a difference between this and a pure battle of wills with an older child who needs to be taught that Mummy is boss, and where clear boundaries are vital to make him feel safe. The book has also helped me to avoid shaming responses and to acknowledge what Margaret Mahler calls "emotional re-fuelling" ( that time in the playground when they just need to come back to base again, to say hello.) It has also helped me appreciate the scientific validity for the fact that the seemingly contented infant can actually be the infant who has given up. What's the point of screaming for help, if no one comes? The book is not about the all giving, long-suffering resentful mother. This does nothing for the self- esteem of the child. Rather the book speaks of the vital importance of parent care and the science supporting this. I am full of admiration for the author's patience and thoroughness in collating this vast array of up to date neuroscientific research studies which focus mainly on parent- child interaction. (As these references are all at the back of the book, parents don't need to refer to them, but I am sure they will be a vital resource for mental health professionals!) As a practicing psychoanalyst, I believe that alongside attachment theory, this book also has real implications for treatment. The book allays mental health professionals the opportunity to integrate their various theories of the primary importance of relationships in the first few years of life, and how these can have long term effects on the key emotional systems in the child's brain. This book is about prevention. I think it should be read not only by parents but by child care professionals and those working in the field of mental health.
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