- Hardcover: 224 pages
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster (Jan 7 2003)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0743227328
- ISBN-13: 978-0743227322
- Product Dimensions: 24.4 x 16.2 x 2.2 cm
- Shipping Weight: 399 g
- Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #256,112 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Details |
Product Description
From Amazon
In contrast to its tabloid title, The Sex-Starved Marriage offers candid and sensible counsel for couples with mismatched libidos. Seasoned sex therapist Michele Weiner-Davis skewers two stereotypes about sex in marriage. First, she jettisons the idea that husbands are hot and wives are not, giving examples of "low-desire" men in her practice. Next, she upends the longstanding model of sexual response and advises readers: "Just do it. Desire is a decision. Once the low-interest partner allows him/herself to be touched and aroused, this will trigger a strong desire to continue being sexual." The strength of her approach to the causes of sexual stalemate lies in her insights about the struggles of both partners. Her suggestions (how to break the ice, how to court your partner, nag busting, and the Hallmark solution) are not gimmicky and are presented as techniques for couples, not individuals. Weakened only by a final chapter--one that discloses too many details about the author’s marriage--this perceptive book will inspire couples to add heat and light to their marriage. --Barbara Mackoff
From Publishers Weekly
Author (The Divorce Remedy), therapist and Oprah regular Davis offers a frank and reassuring guide for couples struggling with the "desire doldrums." It's been estimated that one-third of couples face issues of low desire, the impact of which is felt beyond the bedroom: "Unsatisfying sexual relationships," Davis writes, "are the all-too-frequent causes of alienation, infidelity and divorce." Unfortunately, libidos are rarely equal; most marriages have a low-desire spouse and a high-desire spouse. Davis offers advice for both, bolstered by numerous examples of how that advice has worked for couples she's encountered during her two decades as a marriage counselor. Court your partner the way he or she wants to be courted, Davis tells high-desire spouses; for low-desire spouses, sometimes the best idea is (to borrow a line from Nike) to "just do it." Her "field-tested" tips are sensible rather than earth-shattering-talk openly, be kind, commit to making a change for the better and set concrete, attainable goals-but in the hard-to-talk-about realm of sex, very welcome indeed.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent Book,
By "jwatkins_1" (Brooks, ME United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide (Hardcover)
The Sex-Starved Marriage does an excellent job of explaining each partner's position in a sexually mis-matched marriage. The book was a real eye-opener and provided insight from each partner's perspective. As a low-desire partner, it helped me gain an understanding of how my rejections over the years have affected my spouse. It made me see that as the low-desire partner, I am always setting the pace. How fair is that? I disagree with the Editorial Review which stated that Michelle got too personal in the last chapter disclosing information about her own marriage. Her disclosure made her words have more meaning because she is not only speaking from experience of dealing with couples who faced this issue, but from her experience in her own marriage. I recommend this book for any couple interested in improving their relationship, both in bed and out. Don't wait till you have a problem to read it. If you are engaged to be married, read this book now to help you prevent problems later.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Must have been the allergies,
By A Customer
This review is from: The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide (Hardcover)
I am a skeptical, "glass half empty" kind of guy who has absolutely no use for self-help psychobabble written by "experts" for people who can't think or feel for themselves, or who don't have friends to talk to. These books are for people who call psychic hotlines. So could I really have had tears in my eyes as I read this book? Nah, must have been the allergies.My marriage has been floundering for a while, and I have tried everything to fix it. I am not one of those people who thinks that problems in a relationship are the other person's fault, nor am I emotionally bottled up and unable to (more or less articulately) express my feelings. Yet my efforts, and my issues with my marriage, have consistently been ignored, dismissed and minimized. I was at the point of giving up and accepting that my marriage was just a loveless partnership for raising kids. Ever more distant from my wife, she finally started to recognise that there was a serious problem, but she thought that it was mostly with me. Then I found out about this book. I don't know whether it will save my marriage, but it has definitely saved my sanity. If you are a person who needs way more sex than your spouse, or are the low desire spouse frustrated with constant badgering from your favorite sex maniac, this book will be like waking up from a bad dream. It will ring so true to you that it will feel like you've been spied on. You will hear your exact thoughts, as well as those of your spouse, precisely articulated. This book prescribes hard work and behavior changes for both spouses, and getting there requires commitment and persistence, but even if it doesn't save your marriage, it will make you feel so much better just knowing that someone understands.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
Didn't describe us,
By A Customer
This review is from: The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide (Hardcover)
I wouldn't recommend this book if you and your spouse are in a good relationship but want to improve your sex life. It is meant for distressed couples, or at least couples where one member is distressed. Neither my husband nor I could relate to the marriages/people described in the book. Weiner-Davis gives a nod to couples like us and suggests that it will be good for us too, but we didn't find much that applied to us. Given that most of the information from couples comes from her counseling experience, the direction is going to be skewed toward what is going on in the homes of unhappy couples. I'd like to hear from couples who are weathering this challenge, looking for and finding solutions without experiencing the high level of distress which shows up in this book. It's probably a pretty good book for the couples it is really intended for. So I gave it 3 stars.
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