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The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater [Paperback]

Bonnie Jacobson , Sandra J. Gordon
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
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Book Description

Jun 12 2004
Nearly 50 percent of adults in the United States describe themselves as chronically shy, and an even larger number are single. These numbers prove what we already know: There are a lot of us sitting home alone, letting the dating world pass us by. But it doesn't have to be that way!

In The Shy Single, New York psychologist Bonnie Jacobson outlines her breakthrough program that helps shy men and women securely maneuver any social situation. At the heart of the book is her confidence-boosting plan for managing the three stages of a shyness attack A dating profile quiz, journaling exercises, cumulative courage-rating scores, and real testimonies from Dr. Jacobson's extraordinarily popular shyness workshops round out the "coach's corner" advice for shy daters on how to:
- Work a room and get past awkward introductions
- Participate in dinner conversations and bridge uncomfortable silences
- Ask someone out
- End a date gracefully
- Handle sexual advances

The aim of The Shy Single is not to make us un-shy, but to enable us to function despite our pounding hearts and sweaty palms. With small, manageable steps, we can gain self-assurance and learn how to finesse awkward or possibly embarrassing situations. Navigate a room with small talk? No problem. Ask out a coworker? No sweat. Make the first move in an intimate situation? You bet. From going online to declining a second date to determining whether we've found "the one," Dr. Jacobson shows us that dating happiness isn't just for other, more outgoing people--it's for us.

Frequently Bought Together

The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater + Flirting 101: How to Charm Your Way to Love, Friendship, and Success + How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
Price For All Three: CDN$ 40.71

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  • Flirting 101: How to Charm Your Way to Love, Friendship, and Success CDN$ 11.19

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  • How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships CDN$ 15.12

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Product Description

About the Author

Dr. Bonnie Jacobson is a spokesperson for the American Psychological Association, an adjunct professor of applied psychology at New York University, and the director of the New York Institute for Psychological Change. In private practice for over 30 years, she has been conducting shyness workshops for singles for more than a decade. She lives in New York City with her husband.

Sandra J. Gordon is a formerly shy single who writes frequently about health for such magazines as Fitness, Woman's Day, More, Child, and Parents. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and daughters.

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Customer Reviews

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Most helpful customer reviews
4 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for breaking through dating anxiety July 12 2004
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I gave this book to a self-described "shy" good friend, who just never got out, even though he really wanted to meet someone. I was completely amazed. He's dating someone special now. I asked him if it was a coincidence. He said, no--that, in fact, THE SHY SINGLE, really helped him manage his shyness. The book gives concrete tips for managing shyness every step along the way, when you first meet someone, after you've been chatting awhile, and down the line, when you're in a real relationship. I recommend this book to anyone who is shy, and can't get a date. My friend is completely changed. It took him about three months to put the tips into practice, but it paid off. The woman he met is great, and I can tell that he's really happy.
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2 of 7 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars From shyness to self-confidence Nov 15 2006
Format:Paperback
I recommend this book because it provides sound advices for shy people.

It's easier to make an impression when you have exciting things to talk about and share. To feel more knowledgeable and confident about everyday's life, and be more interesting when meeting others (dates, work, or friends' gathering) I joined services like Agogus.com.

Breaking the barrier of silence and shyness opens doors to infinite possibilities.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 3.3 out of 5 stars  10 reviews
49 of 55 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for breaking through dating anxiety July 12 2004
By A Customer - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I gave this book to a self-described "shy" good friend, who just never got out, even though he really wanted to meet someone. I was completely amazed. He's dating someone special now. I asked him if it was a coincidence. He said, no--that, in fact, THE SHY SINGLE, really helped him manage his shyness. The book gives concrete tips for managing shyness every step along the way, when you first meet someone, after you've been chatting awhile, and down the line, when you're in a real relationship. I recommend this book to anyone who is shy, and can't get a date. My friend is completely changed. It took him about three months to put the tips into practice, but it paid off. The woman he met is great, and I can tell that he's really happy.
32 of 37 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Darn Good! Dec 29 2004
By J. D. Worth - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I'll preface this with a short bio: I am average/handsome, 5 foot 11 inches, 35 years old, not overweight...and have been 'alone' for well over 3 to 5 years now. A classic "Shy Guy."

This is a great book for those of us "Shys" needing a step by step plan to come out of the shell. I just finished the book, and the insights and suggestions made by the author are realistic and do-able. This is not a book you read once then suddenly your cured. Sorry people, no such thing. It is going to take work. Just don't give up, and don't do this half-heartedly, effort will be rewarded.

I know that I'll be re-reading, leafing through, and referencing different parts of this book as I use this and other aides to overcome my shyness. I'll be writing recommendations on other self help books that have been added to my library, and added to my goal of overcoming shyness, in the near future. (Written 12/2004)
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great guide for personalizing your dating strategy May 12 2006
By Bree T - Published on Amazon.com
Format:Paperback
I found this book really helpful for personalizing my dating strategies. I wanted to put myself out there without feeling vulnerable or awkward and this book helped me develop some strategies that feel doable. I now go out two to three times and week and if anything, I'm no longer sitting in my apartment, waiting for the world to come to me. It's empowering.
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