The Stitcher [Import]

OMG!!! What a ridiculous film... after all this hype about what a great film this was supposed to be??? Seriously, how could any objective horror critic or horror fan give this miserable attempt at a horror film five stars??? Poor to bad acting, 100% derivative screenplay, worn out stereo types, unbelievable characters, moderately attractive females for the most part, and utterly ridiculous hicks. Now, Erin is a pretty hot blond, unfortunately, they stereo typed her as a complete moron who never understands anything that is being said by anybody; again, a worn out stereo type that is completely over done to the point of being unbelievable.

The scenes of violence are pretty lame in that they never really show you anything that is actually happening to the victims; they just show the stitcher dude swinging a weapon in the air, then a victim with fake blood where their injuries are supposed to be, so while the overall production quality is pretty good, it is also lacking any creative cinematography in terms of action scenes. The editor has tried to compensate with slow motion and various special effects, but they never really succeed in getting anybody's blood flowing.

OK... The deputy sheriff was a pretty good actor... but this film leaves you with the distinct impression that it was made buy a group of people who've never once ventured outside of the city limits of a large city and have some pretty paranoid and ridiculously unrealistic ideas about people living in small towns. The "country hicks" were completely over acted with extremely feeble efforts by the "actors" to sound like hillbillies. Newsflash: people who live outside the city limits do not shred their clothes with a razor blade and smear axle grease all over themselves. They also don't paint some of their teeth black to make themselves look snaggle-toothed or wear cheep plastic buck teeth. They got so carried away with the hick stereo type that they have all of the residents of the small town acting, literally, as if they were severely retarded... and covered with axle grease...

The concept, of a person who stitches buttons to their skin has a lot of potential, but this film never really manages to make this character believable. The sets didn't really make sense either; way too upscale for the basic concept that the film appears to be trying to get across. For example, how did these severely retarded hicks manage to build an upscale marina at the local lake? Clearly promoted as a terrifying horror film, and not as a comedy, the spin now seems to be that the bad acting was supposed to be funny, but look at the product description; "Inspired by true events... ...terror that is beyond their imagination," etc. The only possible explanations I can come up with for the five star reviews is that these reviewers are either associated with the film, or they're giving it an extra four stars because the producer and director were females. Sorry, but this film only proves that women are just as capable of making a miserably bad horror films as their male counterparts. This film looks like something that a group of junior high students might come up with for their drama class. Don't waste your money on this pathetic attempt at making a horror film!

First, let me get the disclaimer out of the way. Scott Gaffen, the lead role in this movie played the lead role in my newly-released sci-fi spoof "It Came From Over Yonder". So, my view of the "The Stitcher" isn't entirely untainted. However, I have no affliation with Next Monkey Horror.

I bought the movie recently from VCI Entertainment, and watched it for the first time last night. Here are my honest, gut-level impressions of the flick:

Negative:

1) The creature wasn't developed enough in the plot. I wasn't really scared of him at a visceral level. He needed more development (more scenes of him as he developed into the monster he was in the movie).

2) There definitely was not enough intensity in the monster attack scenes. I really wanted to see more blood spewing, arms severed, etc.

3) The movie was too slow in the beginning (which I think "It Came From Over Yonder" suffered from).

4) The local hillbilly makeup (really, really dirty and greasy clothing) was a bit over the top and didn't work for me. Too extreme and silly even for a B-movie.

5) The story was too cliche for me (classic slasher movie) and consequently not very scary.

The most serious flaw of the movie was 1) above. If you look at "good" slasher movies like Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street, the movie can be viewed through the monster's eyes which not only adds an element of real fear, but a certain sick sympathy with the creature. The Stitcher needed more of this psychological development to rise from a mediocre movie to a great one. But, then again, what do I know since I wrote the hideous "It Came from Over Yonder" :)

Positive:

1) The acting was overall pretty good. I wouldn't say anyone in the cast did a "bad" job acting. Most scenes were believable and pretty good in my opinion.

2) I liked the cinematography in general. I'm not a big fan of "crooked" shots but it worked in this movie.

3) The story was well written, if not cliche (see 5 above).

4) Music was great. Wish we had more of that in "It Came From Over Yonder".

5) As a filmmaker myself, I enjoyed watching the extras. It's always a learning experience seeing how other indie filmmakers make their movies.

I liked the scenes later in the movie more than at the beginning. That's pretty typical of most horror movies though I think. I can recommend the movie if you like slasher flicks.

Unless you enjoy extreme B rated movies that looks like someone is filming with a videp camera in their back yard, don't buy! If you fall for the cool DVD cover then don't sayyou weren't warned. Save your money!