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The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide To Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace Paperback – Jan 8 2001


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Frequently Bought Together

The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide To Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace + The Surrendered Single: A Practical Guide to Attracting and Marrying the Man Who's Right for You + Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand: (. . . When you learn that it is better to receive than to give) The Superwoman's Practical Guide to Getting as Much as She Gives
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Touchstone (Jan. 8 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0743204441
  • ISBN-13: 978-0743204446
  • Product Dimensions: 21.7 x 14.1 x 2 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 272 g
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (145 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #61,274 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents


Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
Respect the man you married by listening to him without criticizing him, insulting him, laughing at him or making fun of him. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews

3.3 out of 5 stars
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Tim Josling on Oct. 31 2003
Format: Paperback
The book is written woman to woman and is full of interesting material about how women think and why they do what they do. I would recommend this to men for that reason. For those still living in the 1960s, men and women are different.
I have seen many of the sort of controlling women that the book is aimed at: the ones who micromanage their husbands and are never happy with them. The message is that if your husband is not good enough, leave. If he is one of the good guys, he wants to do the right thing if you will get off his back and give him some room.
Every chapter is full of helpful comments and insight to help make this work.
It is not about turning yourself into a doormat, at all. There are chapters on setting limits, communicating your needs, etc.
The almost violent reaction of some of the reviewers suggests that the author has hit a nerve. I think some of the reviewers see themselves well described in the book - like the author who describes herself as a feminist and former shrew. Some obviously never even read it, preferring to assume they knew what it would say.
Not prefect but worth a read. I bought it as a joke and then didn't read it for a long time because the title is so corny. Glad I did. If you take the message broadly there are messages for men too. Treat your wife with respect and do the right thing, work toward intimacy.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on Jan. 11 2004
Format: Paperback
I picked up this book when my husband and I were separated a few years ago, applied the principals daily and my husband and I got back together and have been like newlyweds ever since. I attribute a lot of it to this book. I have not only a peaceful marriage, but it is absolutely wonderful. We're best friends. It makes sense. The title may seem misleading "surrendered" but I think it's best for strong-willed and independent women, which I am one. It's wonderfully written and MAKES SENSE. I recommend it to anyone who feels like they need to "change their man", when really it's about changing ourselves. It's awesome!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By coolia on Nov. 2 2003
Format: Paperback
This book's only redeeming quality is the entertainment value I got out of sharing its hilarious passages with my husband. The author apparently believes the only way to a healthy marriage is for women to subsume their own selves under a passive, agreeable facade.
The section on submitting to sex at least once a week regardless of whether or not a wife is in the mood - and even if she has a medically-based problem getting aroused - was the point at which I concluded this book would hold the honor of being the first book in my life I ever threw in the trash.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Alyssa on April 8 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Intimacy and control are at odds with each other when it comes to relationships, and many wives sabotage their own marriages without even realizing it by controlling their spouse then complaining they want more intimacy. This book helped me recognize ways I undermine my husband's dignity and confidence in ways I never would have previously thought were harmful. Some of the advice in this book is probably not applicable to all couples (depending on personalities, natural abilities and communication styles), but it certainly helped me, and I think it is a great resource.
I love the author's candid writing style, and it would be a great read for any woman whose marriage is less-than-thriving, especially if they can talk through it with a trusted female friend.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Anonymous Reader on May 6 2001
Format: Paperback
Women, read here to learn how every problem in your marriage is your fault. You can solve it by becoming more demure and submissive to your husbands. They are so in touch with both your and their own emotions, that they will surely come through and save your marriage. Don't trust your own instincts, because we all know you are weak and emotionally unbalanced--probably from spending your time trying to force yourselves into the man's workplace. Just do what you're told, and make sure that you immediately apologize when you've displeased him. Also, things will be best if you are as dependant on him as possible, so for good measure, you should probably quit your jobs,only speak when spoken to, and stitch your fingers to your toes (but backwards, so he still has access to your bikini parts).
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By "wilfulcait" on April 4 2001
Format: Paperback
My husband and I discussed the precepts in this book. His conclusion is that she is recommending manipulative, passive-aggressive behavior; that if he'd wanted a subordinate, he'd have married someone else; and that strong men want strong women as partners -- not people who are unwilling to voice an opinion.
With that said, the author's own description of her past behavior makes clear that she never was a partner in her marriage. It's a shame that she can't conceive of any alternative to having one person or the other be the boss!
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Groovy Vegan on April 3 2001
Format: Paperback
Let your husband have his way 100% of the time. Like magic, the arguing stops. But at what cost?
* By putting hubby in a superior position 100% of the time, the wife's loss self esteem is all but inevitable. Her ideas, opinions and preferences no longer have merit.
* Both partners lose the opportunity to develop healthy communications/negotiating skills.
* By putting her husband in charge of the finances, the wife can find herself destitute and clueless if her husband mismanages the money, or if she becomes widowed or divorced. I've seen this happen.
* By saying, "whatever you say dear" to ALL her husbands ideas, he loses a collaborating partner, and she loses out on having say in how her life and her children's lives are run. I've known women who have done this, then stop knowing what they want and value in life, then have left their husbands to "find themselves."
* The silent partner can build up resentment over having to walk on eggshells and not feeling free to voice her opinion.
* The husband may value his wife LESS for suddenly turning into a child-like Stepford wife
Yes, surrendering can stop arguing, but the cost of such "peace" is high. It may be harder to develop healthy communications and negotiations skills than simply keep one's mouth shut, but healthier and more rewarding in the long run.
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