The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire [Paperback]

 

 

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This book is not for babies. 4 of the most fantastic women I know recommended I read this book. These are powerful intelligent women who will not suffer fools, or weak men. Brothers, it's time we had both a heart AND a spine. It's time we became authentically masculine. This book speaks to me as a man like no other. It isn't filled with pop psychology or all about learning cute little seduction techniques. Who are you? What's your purpose? Do you have the courage to go and find it, whatever the cost? And find uncommon rewards? Are you strong enough to love with a fully open heart? To let go of Mommy? To become self-reliant and give you true gifts to the world and to your woman? To let go of excuses? To continuously grow? To understand her moods? To understand and properly channel your attractions? To be challenged and stay standing? To be criticized and find the gift in it? And to know a higher, deeper, more blissful kind of love? Or would you just rather not fully wake up and keep with the routine of job, housework, buddies and TV? Your choice. David Deida gives it to you straight. He's even a bit harsh at times. But always on the mark. He's helped me wake up and understand so much about my relationships. But like I said, it's not for babies and it may not be for everybody, unless you're ready for it. Are you?

This book sounds like it is based on a very narrow understanding of women. While some parts ring true, i.e. if my love life stinks , nothing feels right, other parts of the book will get men on the wrong track for a woman like me. I find his chapter on the reliability of what women say ridiculous. Though I can get quite emotional, I generally mean what I say and do not do a 180 degree turn five minutes later because my mood changes.

I have read two other books of Deida's. I believe he may have some insight into the male psyche, which makes sense since he has one, but for understanding women or more complex men he falls short.

Reviewing a book often reveals as much or even more at times, of the reviewer as the book itself. So in an effort to be fair and as objective as possible, there are a few things that should be disclosed by this reviewer up front. First, the cultural and religious perspective of this reviewer comes from a different perspective than that of the author of this book. The cultural perspective of the book, although not overwhelmingly so, is Indian, Hindu with a strong focus on yoga. This reviewer has a decidedly western cultural background as well as a post-evangelical religious perspective.

That said, most of the book deals with things in a manner that puts what it has to say in a context that doesn't require the reader to accept the cultural and religious elements, such as they are, to understand what is being said and to receive and apply many of the truths it has to say.

There is a strong focus upon recognition of energy both in terms of quality and quantity and how to achieve internal balance as well as relational balance. The author clearly is not concerned with being politically correct in many contexts and layers the book with strong statements of gender differences in terms of energy and psyche that many readers will be challenged by. This is no doubt intentional. In terms of the basic content of the book, I frankly found a lot of common ground with books in my experience that come from a more decidedly secular point of view such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex or Iron John: A Book About Men and Christian works such as Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul.

Some readers may take offense at some of the language in places. The author is not afraid to use some course terms although they are not consistently used and it was evident to this reviewer they were used for emphasis rather than for gratuitous shock value.

With all of these things recognized many who approach this book, even with the cultural and religious overtones understood there is likely still to be some challenges. There are elements within the book, which this reader still found very close to a sense of machismo in places that comes across very strongly. However, there also were elements that moved beyond that to a focus upon servanthood and sacrificial love that would "preach" just as well within a Christian Church or men's retreat that demonstrate the commonality of human experience and values across different spectrums.

What this book adds however, to other books from different perspectives is a very deep level of practical suggestions in terms of actions within relationship and physical elements of control and self-discipline that are much more down to earth that other books of this nature that I've read. Those, like me, however, who don't have a great deal of practical exposure or experience in Yoga may find those elements, which require a great deal of practice and discipline, a little much. Outside of that however, the practical and general teachings and suggestions of the book, in most places, transcend any one cultural or religious system and will challenge most men in more than one area of their lives and relationships.

This may seem trifling but it's worth noting as well that the book is peppered with small spelling and grammatical errors that gives evidence of a lack of attention to editing that this reader found annoying overall.

Overall, a worthy read.

4 Stars

Bart Breen

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5.0 out of 5 stars Best Guide for Men!
Clear, simple, direct, this is the best guide for men to understand and deal with women, work and life! So many guys are having frustration with their girlfriends. Read more

Published 6 months ago by Marc-andre Pageau

5.0 out of 5 stars the way of the superior man
Essential reading for all men and women, in or out of relationships.
A fantastic and insightful read. One you'll go back to again and again.

Published 6 months ago by Lee Barringer

3.0 out of 5 stars Think twice
I bought this book for myself. As someone finishing up University and starting a career I was, and am still, seeking some pointers on "manhood" and "adulthood" from a neutral... Read more

Published 13 months ago by Kyle

5.0 out of 5 stars YOU NEED THIS BOOK
My son bought this book. He left it in the bathroom. Idly I picked it up and very quickly became immersed. Read more

Published on July 31 2008 by J. K. Beatty

5.0 out of 5 stars Must reading for men
This is a practical guide that acknowledges and deeply values the differing roles - masculine and feminine - in any relationship. Read more

Published on July 29 2008 by A. Horsnell

1.0 out of 5 stars Strongly NOT Recommended for Anybody
I have to say that I only got through the part about "handling women" when I had to stop reading from disgust and dismay. Read more

Published on Nov 21 2007 by Nurse/midwife/educator

1.0 out of 5 stars Flaccidity disguised as force
Deida's cultish, chest-pounding drivel is symptomatic of the worst of the male "recovery" movements. Read more

Published on Aug 14 2004

4.0 out of 5 stars Now I know why they invented Happy Hour
I gave this book four stars instead of five because part of me wants to hold back and say "Waitaminute, let's give women some more credit. Read more

Published on Dec 31 2003 by weerdo

5.0 out of 5 stars Doers Love It; Slackers Hate It
I've noticed that the positive reviews of this book all are by people who say they've taken the advice, while the pans all have come from people who put forth a lot of excuses for... Read more

Published on Oct 1 2003 by A doer

1.0 out of 5 stars is it da or is it memorex?
deida's stuff is pretty much just adi da's stuff with a slight twist. deida was a one-time devotee of da's organisation, adidam, and if you check through da's books (especially... Read more

Published on April 8 2003 by Joshua

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