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Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Cheer Up with Biting Humor of Mark Twain,
By
This review is from: Wit And Wisdom Of Mark Twain (Mass Market Paperback)
Enjoy few quotes from this humorous book, then go and buy a copy:ADVERTISING During his days as a journalist, the young Mark Twain once edited a small newspaper in Missouri. A subscriber wrote in, saying that he had found a spider in his paper and asked whether this was a sign of good or bad uck. Twain answered: "Dear Subscriber: Finding a spider in your paper was neither good luck nor bad luck for you. The spider was merely looking over our paper to see which merchant is not advertising so that he can go to that store, spin his web across the door and lead a life of undisturbed peace ever afterward." ADVICE It is beter to give than receive - especially advice. Mark Twain was always willing to donate free advice to the needy and the unsuspecting. "It's notble to be good", he said, "and it's nobler to teach others to be good, and less trouble." Whenever you find that you are on the side of majority, it is time to reform (- or pause and reflect). BELIEFS If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does nowadays, because now we can't burn him. SURGERY Mark Twain offered this advice on the proper state of mind for undergoing surgery: "Console yourself with the reflection that you are giving the doctor pleasure, and that he is getting paid for it." INSULTS When Mark Twain disapproved of someone, he was not likely to keep it a secret. A remark he made on hearing of the death of an annoying person is typical: "He has done a thing for me which I wouldn't even have done for myself. If he will only stay dead now I will call the account square and drop the grudge I bear him."
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Mark Twain,
By A Customer
This review is from: The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations (Paperback)
Twain was the funniest American who ever lived. His satire puts him on par with Voltaire, Wilde, Shaw, and Sinclair Lewis. Imagine the five of them under the same roof! Twain's cynicism is similar to Nietzsche's.This small book has 357 quotes by Twain, 16 of which I have here for sampling: "The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials." (p. 2) "Be good and you will be lonesome." (p. 9) "We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read." (p. 20) "There has been only one Christian. They caught and crucified him-early." (p. 24) "[The preacher]never charged nothing for his preaching, and it was worth it, too." (p. 26) "Honesty is the best policy-when there is money in it." (p. 33) "You want to be very careful about lying; otherwise you are nearly sure to get caught." (p. 35) "A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." (p. 35) "It is more trouble to make a maxim than to do right." (p. 40) "I have been on the verge of being an angel all my life, but its never happened yet." (p. 46) "Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved." (p. 48) "The English are mentioned in the Bible; Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." (p. 48) "Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform." (p. 50) "I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have got so much more of it." (. 51) "I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself." (p. 52) "Put all your eggs in one basket and-WATCH THAT BASKET." (p. 55)
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
a recommended collection....,
By Craig Chalquist, PhD, author of TERRAPSYCHOLO... (Bay Area, CA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations (Paperback)
...of spicy quotations by the master of words and wit. Gives sources too. Very enjoyable reading.
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