I purchased this book at a bookstore just a few days ago because I am suffering disproportionately over a relationship that ended almost as long ago as the relationship itself lasted. Through this book, I've discovered that I am a textbook case of a woman grappling with both romantic anxiety AND romantic obsession. I always knew something wasn't "right" with me, but this book (and I've read countless self-help books and received glimmers of truth) really nailed it on the head, outlining how my upbringing (a distant, passive, uninvolved, and angry father and a lenient mother who drew all of us kids into coalition with her) created a deep-seated inability to connect with the opposite sex in a healthy way. Sadly, I discovered this book 24 hours AFTER exploding at the man with whom I was attached, thereby eliminating the possibility of even cordiality. I realize now that it had FAR more to do with me than him, and, of course, I regret so many things. An amazing book, albeit extremely painful to read. My main complaint with the book is that, while it does a SUPERB job at identifying your insecurity and its origins, you're left asking yourself, "OK, now I know what's wrong with me. What do I do now?" All you're given is one small chapter. I would recommend to the authors that they develop exercises for people suffering from this debilitating and intimacy-stealing condition -- perhaps a workbook. Luckily, I have a therapist who can help me, but most people don't have that luxury. I HIGHLY recommend this book!