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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" [Paperback]

Brene Brown
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
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Book Description

Dec 25 2007
Researcher and thought leader Dr. Brené Brown offers a liberating study on the importance of our imperfections—both to our relationships and to our own sense of self
The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting. There is a constant barrage of social expectations that teach us that being imperfect is synonymous with being inadequate. Everywhere we turn, there are messages that tell us who, what and how we’re supposed to be. So, we learn to hide our struggles and protect ourselves from shame, judgment, criticism and blame by seeking safety in pretending and perfection.

Dr. Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW, is the leading authority on the power of vulnerability, and has inspired thousands through her top-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection, wildly popular TEDx talk, and a PBS special. Based on seven years of her ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we’re all in this together.

Dr. Brown writes, “We need our lives back. It’s time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection—the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy and joy into our lives.”

Frequently Bought Together

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" + The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are + Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Price For All Three: CDN$ 43.60

Product Details

Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

University of Houston researcher and social worker Brown believes shame underlies the spread of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and much more, and drawing on a study of hundreds of women, she constructs a method for overcoming it. Brown defines shame as "the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging" and believes its spread has been created by conflicting and competing expectations about who women should be. Women feel shame about their appearance, about motherhood, family, money/work, health, stereotypes and trauma. Brown quotes liberally from the women she has studied and, most enlighteningly, gives examples from her own experiences juggling motherhood, career and her social life. These revelations underscore her belief in the importance of exposing shame and, through empathy, helping oneself and others move past it. She underscores the need to practice critical awareness, i.e., understanding the social forces that create shame in us can help us fight the sense of shame. Thus, Brown presents a spirited attack on the media and the beauty industry for presenting unrealistic images of women. Directing readers to focus on personal growth as opposed to unattainable perfection, Brown urges them to practice shame-resilience skills and teach them to their children. (Feb.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Interviewing hundreds of women over six years, Brown was constantly faced with the shame just talking about shame induced. She explores how and why this universal human emotion is particularly present in women and how it affects behavior and relationships. She relates women's stories of shame about everything from obsession over appearance to sexual abuse, abuse of alcohol and drugs, and inadequacies as mothers, wives, and lovers. Brown offers insights and strategies for understanding shame and overcoming its power over women. She begins by defining shame and differentiating it from other emotions, and explores how shame is used and induced in the broader culture. She then identifies four elements of resilience: recognizing shame triggers, critical awareness, reaching out for help and connection with others, and speaking out about shame. She advises women on practicing courage, compassion, and connection to overcome cultures of fear, blame, and disconnection. An interesting look at a debilitating emotion that stunts the potential of too many women. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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First Sentence
When people ask me how I became a shame researcher, I tell them that my career was built around one sentence: "You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors." Read the first page
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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5 stars
Most helpful customer reviews
30 of 31 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I Thought It Was Just Me Oct. 7 2007
It seems like the epidemic that no one wants to talk about. We all try to put this perfect face out to the world. Really, I am the perfect mother, my house is completely clean, I am fulfilled in my job, I am financially successful, I am a perfect size two, I have plenty of time to connect on a deeper level with my loving husband, and I have tons of friends who I share my every thought. Well, that's what we think we should be. The truth just doesn't always match our expectations.

The problem is that somewhere along the line we lost sight of the fact that humans are perfect and our lives are often filled with reality. Try as we might, we are going to eat that cookie (or the whole bag) and gain three pounds. Our chaotic schedule is going to get the better of us and we are going to forget to bake cupcakes for the school bake sale.

I Thought It Was Just Me looks at the topic of shame. For many of us, during those moments when reality doesn't match our fantasy image of ourselves, we feel shame. Shame goes beyond simple embarrassment or irritation. Shame is a form of self abuse where we berate ourselves for not being perfect.

I Thought It Was Just Me is an important book that reminds us all that to be human is to err. Maybe it's time we all stopped trying to be everything to everyone and just tried to be ourselves. Maybe it's time we all tried being kind, compassionate, and loving (to others and to ourselves).
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting new look at the subject ~ April 30 2013
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I used my highlighter on so many pages of this book. Seriously makes you take a deeper look at what makes people tick and click. I love the personal anecdotes and the orderly way she presents her material from the research. I'm now reading the next book she wrote which is just as juicy. I saw her in an interview with Oprah as well as her presentation on the net and I just had to get her books.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
a great read for those who are in search of their "self". If you would like to know about Brene's information go to TED talks and you can listen to her. She is a great speaker and really makes sense-puts herself in situations and adds comedy to her sessions.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a life-changing book. I love what Brene Brown has given to us. Thank you for doing this work Brene; it has moved me to a better way of living.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Shame Resilence April 4 2013
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This is the my least favorite Brene Brown book, but it is jammed packed with information in understanding shame, triggers and resilience to shame.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book March 26 2014
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Inspiring. Reminded me that I was human and we all have similar experiences. Being able to relate to others in those moments helps you heal.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Terrific March 25 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I found the book informative and well written. Brene covers difficult subject matter in an easily understood manner and with humour. I enjoyed the book so much that I have purchased others that she has written and recommended it to several of my friends
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Format:MP3 CD|Verified Purchase
The book is easy to read, something each person I know could benefit from and would solve many human issues.
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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Very thought provoking. There are other issues that are similar across the gender boundary.
Published 2 months ago by Yale Shafer
5.0 out of 5 stars I Thought It Was Just Me
This is by far my favorite book by Brene Brown. She discusses shame and shame resilience in great detail that is extremely helpful.
Published 3 months ago by Kelsi
3.0 out of 5 stars Don't know...it took way too long to arrive.
When I ordered it was 3+ weeks till I holidayed out west...it never arrived till after I returned...so now it sits there needing to be reshipped to the East. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Dianne
3.0 out of 5 stars haven't read it yet but seems interesting
The text is a little slanted throughout the book but I think it's still OK. 3 stars because of the publishing quality not the content.
Published 5 months ago by Scientist
5.0 out of 5 stars For those who questioned themselves.
This book offers healing in understanding how shame is experienced and how it is often expressed recognizing our imperfections and pain caused by imperfection. Read more
Published 7 months ago by youshi56
5.0 out of 5 stars Important to read
I was so happy to get this book.. it should be required reading for everyone.. I got it quickly too and read it immediately
Published 11 months ago by Gamma5
3.0 out of 5 stars Self Image and where it comes from
Good insight regarding where our sense of identities come from and gives good ideas on how to address them. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Jeffrey O. Apuada
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