Ticker

The cop on the edge in "Ticker" is Ray Nettles (Tom Sizemore), a vice cop with an attitude carrying the horrific memories of witnessing his wife and child perish in an explosion. He spends most of his day hanging out with his partner Art "Fuzzy" Rice (Nas), busting women of the night in San Francisco's dirty slums. Just so we know what Nettles and Rice do all day, and presumably to tell us Sizemore's character isn't a bad guy, "Ticker" supplies with the obligatory scene of a bust where Rice and Nettles catch Lilly (Chilli of TLC fame) with a client. The two cops let her go rather than run her in yet again after she pleads with them to let her go for the sake of her kids (!). A few minutes later, Fuzzy takes the big fall in a gun battle with a trio of brutes in a warehouse. Nettles swears to avenge his partner's untimely demise despite interference from Captain Spano (Joe Spano) and an obnoxious underling who has it in for Nettles. Yep, you heard it right. The conflicts between Nettles and the department establish the classic "cop on the edge" theme. Locked out of the investigation, Ray only has Claire (Jaime Pressly), a girl brought in because of the warehouse shooting, as a possible way to keep his hand in the case. He subsequently turns to the bomb squad for help.

The bomb squad in "Ticker" is a bunch of guys who work outside the normal police channels. Led by Glass (Steven Seagal), an expert on every sort of military and non-military explosive, the crew is a goofy bunch of smart alecks with little time to deal with the rest of the department. They treat Ray Nettles like he's dirt under their shoes-which he is to some extent, or at least he looks like he is-but decides to take the detective under their wing when he shows them an explosive device he found in the warehouse shooting. Seagal finds the break he's been looking for: a series of bombings in the city have flummoxed the higher ups, but with this new evidence Glass and his crew begin to put the pieces together. Turns out Claire has information on a guy named Swann (Dennis Hopper), an Irish terrorist and one of the premier bomb makers in the world. Swann isn't happy about Claire hiding in the police station, so he starts a new campaign of bombings in order to free her. She's got some secrets about his operation and what he's ultimately planning, secrets Glass and his pals would like to learn so they can capture the guy. Eventually, the cops let Claire go so they can trick Swann into coming in, but things go horribly wrong and she gets away. Witness the exciting (yawn) plot twist that follows. The movie wraps up with Seagal and Sizemore working together to bring down the baddies.

"Ticker" should rightly be classified as a disaster movie because that's exactly what it is. The script, acting, action scenes, and plot are terrible. Seagal always strikes wooden poses and delivers lines you'd find in a fortune cookie like he has a mouth full of lead, so picking on him isn't too original. Dennis Hopper, on the other hand, should have known better. Not only does he sport the worst Irish accent ever captured on film, his performance is uninspiring. Does Hopper need a paycheck this badly? Heck, I'd loan him some money if he's this desperate for cash because I hate to see a good actor hit the skids. Perhaps it's not the performers' fault since Pyun's uninspired cinematography and pacing virtually insured the film would tank. This director, at least with this picture, subscribes to the "tell don't show" school of film. We don't even get to see most of the explosions, just someone walking around in the wreckage afterwards. Worse, the booms we do see are shot in such extreme close-ups that you soon realize Pyun didn't have a decent budget to lens shock and awe type pyrotechnics.

Extras on the DVD include the aforementioned "cop on the edge" trailer, production notes, cast and crew biographies, and a few other goodies of questionable interest. This is one of the few films I have seen lately where I actually wished the picture transfer wouldn't be that good. "Ticker" might well classify as the worst action film made in the last ten years. If that interests you, and it should if you like bad films, go ahead and give it a shot. All others need to steer clear.