- Paperback: 288 pages
- Publisher: Basic; First Trade Paper Edition edition (Jan 19 2010)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0465018637
- ISBN-13: 978-0465018635
- Product Dimensions: 22.4 x 14.5 x 2 cm
- Shipping Weight: 499 g
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,108,142 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Details |
Product Description
Review
"Library Journal"
"[Abigail Trafford] delves into the problems of retirement and illness with compassionate insight and offers observations rather than advice. A distinctive slant on the aging process; highly recommended."
"[Abigail Trafford] delves into the problems of retirement and illness with compassionate insight and offers observations rather than advice. A distinctive slant on the aging process; highly recommended."
"Washington Post"
.,."the mood also amounts to a point of view: not rose-colored glasses but a strong, hopeful heart and an abiding belief in the power of love."
"Publishers Weekly"
"This insightful book has quite a bit to say about modern relationships, young and old, the most important of which may be that falling in love at 80 is not much different from falling in love at 18."
Product Description
In this inspiring book, best-selling author Abigail Trafford describes how people over fifty are rewriting the script of love and in the process redefining the institution of marriage for future generations. Drawing on interviews with hundreds of men and women, married and single, gay and straight, Trafford explores what it means to love and be loved in the decades after midlife—and offers solutions to the most common problems that define this period, such as “retired spouse syndrome” and divorce. Wise and compassionate, As Time Goes By is an essential guide to the pursuit of love and happiness in this dynamic stage of life.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com:
3.7 out of 5 stars (6 customer reviews)
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
Reasonably informative (3.25*s), Mar 21 2009
By J. Grattan "Ideas can move the world" - Published on Amazon.com
This review is from: As Time Goes By: Boomerang Marriages, Serial Spouses, Throwback Couples, and Other Romantic Adventures in an Age Of Longevity (Hardcover)
This book is a reasonable effort at shedding light on the possibilities and problems of coupledom in old age and/or retirement. It's not particularly remarkable to note that some marriages involve serial spouses (many marriages), are boomerang (marry, divorce, remarry same person), are throwback romantic (return to a past love), or have lasted a lifetime. Plenty of examples of all types are presented. It could be significant that the author's sample of marriages is highly skewed. Those she interviewed were invariably upper middle-class and professionals, in many cases in professions that permitted a great deal of flexibility and chances to control when one's working career is over or to move to related alternatives.By far the most significant aspect of the book is her scattered discussions about the stresses of moving from work to retirement, involving either one or both marital partners. Changes in the primary earner can be especially problematical. With the structure of work gone, the intricacies of marriage move to the center of their lives. Cracks and incompatibilities, perhaps long dormant, in the marriage will invariably come to the fore when it becomes so important. As one would expect, the ability to communicate is foremost in overcoming hurdles, especially matters such as depression or sickness. In some cases, marriages become flat-lined, a situation where tolerance, appeasement, or a kind of standoff is achieved with no chance of an enjoyable relationship.
The author also discusses such matters as the changing capability of engaging in or enjoying physical intimacy. In addition, she contends that a network of at least ten close friends is necessary. She warns against the susceptibleness to infatuation, perhaps due to the realization of fewer years remaining.
The book is mildly informative and keeps the number of example cases at a reasonable level. Finding examples of marriages similar to one's own can be comforting, enlightening, or even a call to action. The author makes no scientific claims concerning her work. She does not indicate how her sample was selected and there are no reference notes. The author is certainly correct to note that we are an aging population. The issues raised in this book will become more and more relevant in our society.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars
Overview of how times have changed, April 1 2009
By Betty R. Mcguire "book lover" - Published on Amazon.com
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: As Time Goes By: Boomerang Marriages, Serial Spouses, Throwback Couples, and Other Romantic Adventures in an Age Of Longevity (Hardcover)
As a reader in my 70's I enjoyed the author's view, based on statistics, of how marriage ideals and living together have changed over the decades. Trafford writes for the lay reader with insight, humor and interesting personal interviews.
5.0 out of 5 stars
As Time Goes By, Aug 20 2011
By jc - Published on Amazon.com
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
A great book. It shows us where we and many other people have been in our lives and possibly where we are headed..
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