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Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes [Paperback]

Duke Robinson
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
List Price: CDN$ 16.50
Price: CDN$ 11.91 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over CDN$ 25. Details
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Book Description

Nov 1 2000
If you're like most folks, you were raised to be "nice". Yet now you find yourself asking: "If I'm so nice, why isn't my life better?" Renowned minister and lecturer Duke Robinson has the answer. Robinson says that well-intended behavior is essential to a humane society, but carries a down side. Being nice often means we take on too much, tell little lies, strive endlessly for perfection, and fall prey to other self-defeating behaviors. Now Robinson outlines the nine unconscious mistakes nice people make daily, and he shows how to correct them and avoid unnecessary stress with life-affirming actions. Learn how to:
-- Say "no" and save yourself from burnout
-- Tell others what you want, and actually receive it
-- Express anger in healing ways that maintain valued relationships
-- Respond effectively when i0rrationally criticized or attacked
-- Liberate your true self.

Are you, like many of us, too nice for your own good? This remarkable book will empower you to get what you need and deserve,out of life...and still be a nice person!

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Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes + The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships + When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
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Inside This Book (Learn More)
First Sentence
Much of my professional work was public and had performance dimensions to it, including a lot of up-front public speaking. Read the first page
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Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Back Cover
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4.9 out of 5 stars
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Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How about a 15 on a 1-10 scale? Aug 15 2003
Format:Paperback
I have an admission: I can't process Duke Robinson's book as fast as I would like. That's because it contains vast insight into how we would-be nice folk trip over ourselves. So, I'm reading it slowly and taking time for reflection.

But I'm also trying new behaviors that the author suggests. For example, I've started saying "I'll have to get back to you" when my own reactivity kicks in. A simple suggestion, almost common sense. But it helps preserve important relationships and gives me time to come up with a calm, healing response.

If you feel a need to be perfect, if you lose yourself into other people's problems, if you sputter in the face of ambush, if you have trouble saying what you want, this book is for you. It offers practical, down-to-earth, doable ideas that work.

But be warned: the author will help you envision the climb toward more authentic niceness, and he will provide some handholds. But the work will be up to you. If you're like me, you will find his suggestions difficult to pull off. But the effort will be worthwhile.

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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
By E. Lee
Format:Paperback
I really only have three words for this awesome, life-healing book: OH. MY. GOD.
I never realized until recently how deeply my so-called niceness was hurting me, absolutely draining me. It's as if I've gone through my entire life (until now) thinking solely of others, in order not to be rejected, abandoned, dis-vaildated. I supress my anger, and do all the other mistakes that are mentioned in the book. Needless to say, my stress levels have been over the top, trying so damn hard not to step on someone else's toes! Well, no more. I am done with apologizing for existing on this earth, and Mr. Robinson is giving me the validation and the confidence I need to move forward in the healthiest of ways! I thank you, sir, from the bottom of my heart. You have facilitated a major change in my life, and I am beyond grateful to you. I highly recomend this book, and I do not believe that 5 stars are quite enough to rate it. Read it, and change your life's approach.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Duke's words ring true... and now in paperback! Aug 17 2003
Format:Paperback
Here's what I wrote before when this was in hardback only:

This book opened my eyes to a lot of important insights into how my
"niceness" has undercut my integrity and effectiveness as a person. I'm impressed with
the substance and clarity with which it's written, and especially the fact
that I couldn't find any "psychobabble." I'm also impressed with the balance of
theoretical understanding and practical information. It's been of tremendous
help to me. I cannot recommend it too highly.

I was recently interviewing for a job and was called in for EIGHT interviews.
The stress was on! Duke helped me to see the big picture, to focus on what I
wanted and needed, and not be bogged down with needless baggage that some of
us "nice" people carry with us.

This book has helped me with personal relationships at home and with friends,
has refocused my attention to my communication methods so that I use clear
and succinct wording, and it has helped me see that nice guys can finish first.

Thanks, Duke. The book is great!

And now that it's been in paperback for a while, everyone should own a copy. Get it now before you are manipulated by your own actions.

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Most recent customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great self help book
It is a wonderful book. It helped me to overcome problems that life throws at me without turning into a mean person.
Published 2 months ago by Ulf Geerds
5.0 out of 5 stars Understand yourself, but should we understand others too?
This is a wonderful book containing a lot of sound advice. However, there are times when I feel that the `new' approach is still `too nice', i.e. Read more
Published 13 months ago by James Taylor
5.0 out of 5 stars Too Nice for Your Own Good
This is a great little book that helps you recognise when your own "giving" behaviour isn't really helpful to you or the people that you love. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Bear54
5.0 out of 5 stars Too Nice For Your Own Good
Being "nice" isn't always as good as it look!
Always being "nice" looks so good from the outside, but oh, the pain that is there inside. Read more
Published on Jan 18 2004 by Kay C. Roddick
5.0 out of 5 stars Some Good Advice - Plain and Simple!!
It had never occurred to me - could I sometimes be too nice toward other people? I didn't think my wife would agree! She's always wanted nothing but "niceness" from me!! Read more
Published on Oct 7 2003 by John Hadsell
5.0 out of 5 stars Proof of Book's Impact
I originally wrote the below review 3 years ago when the book was released. As fate should have it, I 'lived' my review. Read more
Published on Aug 29 2003 by "ka_dorman"
4.0 out of 5 stars Niceness Mistakes-For Good!
How oft we create a wave to spell trouble with our own perfections being true and honest with good faith and intentions? Read more
Published on Jun 11 2003 by Ilaxi S. Patel
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