- Hardcover: 304 pages
- Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (Aug 25 2003)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0787968773
- ISBN-13: 978-0787968779
- Product Dimensions: 23.4 x 15.7 x 2.8 cm
- Shipping Weight: 499 g
- Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,252,174 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- See Complete Table of Contents
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Product Details |
Product Description
From Publishers Weekly
Approaching modern psychology from a Christian point of view, McLemore (who taught clinical psychology and theology at Fuller Seminary and authored the Clergyman's Psychological Handbook) considers "the intersection of health and holiness at the crossroads of relationships" in this guide to understanding and improving interpersonal interactions. Recognizing the basic drives behind human interactions can improve intimacy with others and also help mend emotionally unhealthy relationships. After all, McElmore says, "loving our neighbors does not mean automatically allowing them to abuse, manipulate or oppress us." The author cites Scripture to illuminate relationships as God meant them to be-filled with joy, intimacy and respect-and explores eight toxic modes of interaction: controlling, drifting, intruding, freeloading, humiliating, scurrying, victimizing and avoiding. These behavior styles may not be desirable, but they can be adaptive, McLemore notes, explaining, for example, that Controllers and Drifters are often compatible. The author provides "antidotes to toxicity" to help the reader pinpoint dysfunction and change for the better. Referencing Scripture throughout-the usually bold Peter, who denied he knew Jesus three times, proves that even saints are guilty of scurrying-McLemore illustrates how toxic relationships have played out in the Bible. Straightforward guidance combined with real-life examples explaining the complexities of human interaction make this a clear and concise guide for believers looking for an alternative to secular self-help.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
McLemore, a former professor of clinical psychology and theology and currently a consultant for Fortune 500 companies, argues for Christian faith as the singular vehicle for lasting health in interpersonal affairs. As in his earlier Street-Smart Ethics: Succeeding in Business Without Selling Your Soul, he admirably intertwines his -disciplines to break down "toxic" relationships, that. is, those that "pull you down rather than lift you up; they certainly don't help you move closer to God." Christian readers will especially find much to consider and learn, as the author explains and explores "toxic" behaviors (e.g., intruding, victimizing) as well as some countering methods, with biblical passages. Though here are secular self-help ideas at work: here, removing them from the religious material would be 1i1ce separating the peanut hitter from the jelly. While fine for Christian collections (and perhaps notable given McLemore's fine publishing pedigree), public libraries should consider Jay Carter's Nasty People and Robert A. Glover's personable No More Mr. Nice Guy! (Library Journal, September 15, 2003)
Inside This Book
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First Sentence
THIS PASSAGE FROM PAUL'S letter to the Christians at Rome captures what it means to live in dynamic communion with God through Christ. Read the first page
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
THIS PASSAGE FROM PAUL'S letter to the Christians at Rome captures what it means to live in dynamic communion with God through Christ. Read the first page
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Concordance
Browse Sample PagesConcordance
Front Cover | Copyright | Table of Contents | Excerpt | Index | Back Cover
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Customer Reviews
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Most helpful customer reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Exceptional and powerful insights,
By Mike Neiggemann (Templeton, CA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Toxic Relationships and How to Change Them: Health and Holiness in Everyday Life (Hardcover)
WOW! I thought I would blaze through this book in a few comfortable sittings, but I was wrong. I purposefully slowed my pace to absorb as much of Dr. McLemore's gifted insights as possible. This book should be a standard text for every psychology class, and mandatory reading for anyone involved in interpersonal counselling. Having said that, it is also exceedingly valuable for anyone, professional or non, who wishes to understand and improve relationships with others. The logical organization and conversational writing style of Dr. McLemore makes difficult and complex concepts easy to understand. His use of examples to illustrate his points really bring the concepts "home." The use of Scripture to extablish departure points for each chapter is artful and indisputeably relates to the subjects covered. Best of all, he doesn't just lay out the problems for us, but presents actionable alternatives for those confronted with toxic relationships. I have enjoyed all of Dr. McLemore's books and can't wait for his next offering.
5.0 out of 5 stars
What a useful book!,
By Thomas R Granoff, Ph.D. (El Segundo, CA United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Toxic Relationships and How to Change Them: Health and Holiness in Everyday Life (Hardcover)
I gave this book "five-stars." Dr. McLemore teaches a profound methodology for understanding the people in your life in clear-cut manner that doesn't water down this complex subject into another pop psychology book with a title like "Ten Handy Tips for Great Relationships." The methodology is comprehensive but not academically dry. However, this book could easily become a popular text for graduate level courses in psychology, counseling or social work. If you are like me and want to skim books to get the big ideas, McLemore provides many useful charts to aid in your quick study of the material. Though written by a former seminary professor, I believe non-Christian readers will also find the material thought provoking and beneficial. Also, if you are a parent, supervisor, coach or schoolteacher, the last twenty pages written about changing yourself and changing others will pay for the book. Reading this book is time well spent!
5.0 out of 5 stars
Destined to become a classic,
By it (Sunnyvale, CA USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Toxic Relationships and How to Change Them: Health and Holiness in Everyday Life (Hardcover)
This book is destined to become a classic. Although advertised as a book about toxic behavior, the first 35% is about ordinary behavior. It presents some simple models that ordinary people can use to learn more about themselves and others. It explains which personality types go well together. This should prove useful to people in selecting a spouse or business partner. The next 55% of the book describes eight types of toxic behavior. It gives detailed information about each type so that you can examine yourself for having these types of behavior. It also gives advice on how to not reinforce the toxic behavior of others. The remaining 10% of the book is a tutorial on how to change your own behavior. The author's 10 years of teaching shows in the clear explanations and systematic treatment of the subject. There are frequent examples for thought and probing questions to apply to yourself.
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