Transporter (Widescreen)

 

 

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I'm not a huge fan of action movies, and I really didn't have high hopes for this one, but The Transporter turned out to be a pretty enjoyable flick. The story, the action, and the characters are all held together by the cinematic equivalent of Crazy Glue, but somehow that doesn't really matter all that much. This movie is really all about the action, which comes at you almost non-stop. It pushes the envelope of realism to the breaking point a few times, but it's unusual and therefore interesting. Jason Statham is basically a one-man wrecking crew, and he has a style all his own (which lies somewhere in between traditional martial arts and basic street thug tactics). It's quick and intense and, most of all, purely entertaining. I've never seen a fight such as that waged on an oil-covered surface by Frank and an assembly of goons. It's just one example of a slight comic touch that seems to define much of the action and special effects -- you will witness several "oh, come on!" moments in this film.

We don't learn a whole lot about Frank Martin (Jason Statham). We know he is ex-military and that he currently earns his living transporting dubious goods. He's a meticulous perfectionist who lives by a few simple rules -- or at least he did, until his current job came along. It should have been simple -- pick the bag up here, drive it to there, deliver it, and go home 40 Gs richer. A flat tire changes all that, as he can't help but notice the bag resting atop his spare tire in the trunk is moving. Enter Lai (Qi Shu), undoubtedly the most attractive piece of cargo he's ever transported. Now you might expect Frank to let the girl go -- but Frank always honors his deals. That would have been the end of the story if his client hadn't double-crossed him in the end. They really shouldn't have made Frank angry.

As luck would have it, though, Lai seems to have established some sort of bond with Frank. Coming to the aid of a damsel in distress isn't really part of his nature, but Lai shows no compunction to flee from this man who was himself less than kind to her. She tells him a story of Chinese citizens being shipped via packing crate for lives of slavery, and he eventually gets involved in the whole mess -- but only after those same guys come calling in a most direct fashion. There's a weird dichotomy between Frank and the local police investigator that moves the plot along to its conclusion, which is actually a good thing since the slave trade story tends to meander a bit on its own.

Frankly, I don't find Jason Statham charismatic at all, although he's certainly efficient at what he does. Qi Shu, on the other hand, breathes the only signs of life into a film that would pretty much stagnate without her. This really is quite an unusual film. It makes clear from the very start that you can't take it seriously, and the basic story is a rather muddled affair, yet it succeeds largely in terms of its action alone. That isn't how things are supposed to work -- yet I can't deny that I found The Transporter quite entertaining.

So, I just finished watching what is probably the world's worst movie ever made. The Transporter. I would have changed the channel, but it was so bad, and so many glarring errors of continuity and realism were made, that I sat spellbound by its audacity to insult my intelligence repeatedly.

And for just a few for instances...

Mere bullets igniting oil on salt water. A glass windshield miraculously reappearing on a semi tractor trailer just after a driver drives the rig sans windshield without a hint of wind blowing his perfectly coiffed hair, despite three seperate tangles with our hero, both of whom seem to always be fighting with someone, but never have the slightest appearance of a bruise. A single-engine airplane seen careening at near street level is seen mere seconds later cruising at an altitude of no less than 10,000 feet...thats 3,333 metres for those of you in Europe who assited in the making of this film (and I use that word lightly)...all of this just before the Transporter jumps out of the plane...and of course...parachutes down on top of the semi tractor trailer, the film maker in this case going so far as to have the shot appear that our hero is actually catching up to the trailer from behind...what's the speed limit there in Europe?

And then there's the plot. I would be able to discuss it, but regrettably, this movie was born without one, which is much like you or I being born without a head...which come to think of it, rather well describes the way this movie stumbles from ridiculous fight scene after fight scene, all studded with the most polite bad guys a movie ever saw. Each bad guy seems always to wait his turn to attack our hero, and then once wounded, dutifully looks away in horror and pretty much just lays there on the floor as ordered.

I heard this movie did well in Europe, which certainly doesn't say much for the discriminating tastes of our friends...correction...our sometimes friends...across the pond there.

Visually, women may enjoy our hero, Frank Martin (a name as well thought out as the actual movie) Jason Statham, who goes topless quite often. Men may enjoy our heroine, the lovely Sui Qi, who unfortunately, does not. In fact, if a man were NOT to enjoy her, he should check his hetero card immediately. She is, as a friend of mine would say..."smokin'..."

The one bright spot in this movie is that at some point it does end. Be prepared for the soundtrack or lack thereof, which is worse than horrific...perhaps even poorer than the movie, the ending credits song being performed by a woman who sounds like Lita Ford after eating a box of thumbtacks.

All in all, I would have to say that my time would have been better spent by rearranging a sock drawer...not my own, of course, but someone's...

But hey, that's just me...

I loved this movie when I saw it initially in the theatres. I loved it when I saw it again... and will do so yet again!

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5.0 out of 5 stars I love this movie
Such and action packed thriller. I really enjoyed Transporter. One of Jason Statham's best IMO

Published on Mar 24 2009 by Irwineering

4.0 out of 5 stars The mystery of the moving package
He never should have broken

His own unwritten rules

Professionals, they don't get caught

Mistakes are made by fools

Rule one is never... Read more

Published on Sep 25 2006 by Amanda Richards

4.0 out of 5 stars If you're looking for something inspiration this isn't it
This is overall a good action film and is worth a look. Great effects and a great script, lots of explosions, fights, etc. but it all got into a bit too much. Read more

Published on Mar 10 2006 by RICK

3.0 out of 5 stars Girl Porn
Jason Statham, shirtless, greased up in a bus station kicking ass. Oh.my.god. This movie has a crappy plot & silly dialogue, but I own in because Mr. Read more

Published on July 8 2004

1.0 out of 5 stars hahaha soo bad
the first scene was good but it just went downhill from there, a very steep hill. bad acting, bad story line, bad everything

Published on July 4 2004 by Rob

3.0 out of 5 stars Worth One Viewing & Only One
I made the mistake of watching this more than once. In the theater, on a huge screen in a dark room, the action scenes are incredible and the story reasonable enough. Read more

Published on May 10 2004 by J

5.0 out of 5 stars Rule #4: Forget about Vin Diesel, Statham is the real deal!
This movie rocked ,Jason Statham who was in Snatch,and Lock Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels is a courier who transporst dangerous cargo with no questions asked. Read more

Published on April 23 2004 by Daniel Mankowski

4.0 out of 5 stars Smooth Operator/ Sublime Panache !!!
Amidst the world of Super Heros, Tough Guys, and Martial Artists comes a refreshingly different bad guy/ good guy character that is reminiscent of Paul Newman playing Cool Hand... Read more

Published on April 5 2004 by voiceofelijah7

4.0 out of 5 stars Mindless Fun
You had one of those terrible weeks - traveling all over the country. Alas, you return to homebase in time for the Friday unwind. Read more

Published on April 4 2004

2.0 out of 5 stars 2 stars for...
I give 2 stars to this movie. One is for the acting I found not so bad and the second one is for the fight scenes I found quite creative. Read more

Published on Mar 24 2004 by Guiglou

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